UW Huskies Institute Season Ticket Communism

Freedom is under attack, ladies and gentlemen. It’s so obvious. What ever happened to the American way of going broke trying to afford things you don’t even need?

Washington cheerleaders
(Are those cheerleading outfits or superhero uniforms from the 1950s?)

Rather than letting season ticket holders’ bank accounts get overdrawn for the opportunity to watch horrible terrible awful only D-I by way of technicality great football, the University of Washington is instituting a program called “Dawgs Helping Dawgs.” In it, the UW is soliciting donations from its well-off season ticket holders for those who can’t afford them anymore. Those redistributing secret atheist* bastards!

Read more…

Fidel Castro Not Dead Yet, Blogging About WBC

As if most bloggers weren’t already worthy of your scorn, Fidel Castro has apparently familiarized himself with Movable Type and is letting the world know just what he thinks about the World Baseball Classic. Well, at least we know one person in the world has been paying attention to the WBC.

Fidel Castro

Castro, who is apparently still alive, has been posting his daily thoughts on the tournament and the Cuban team in GRANMA, the hilariously named official paper of the Cuban Communist Party. And yes, it’s every bit as crazy as you’d expect. Join me and Comrade Fidel after the jump, for allegations of tournament-fixing, anti-capitalism rants, and casual racism.

Read more…

Idaho Finds Its Cheerleaders Are Just Too Sexy

Until now, the only thing the state of Idaho has ever been known for was potatoes. Delicious, delicious potatoes. Supermarkets across the country have their shelves filled with wonderful Idaho potatoes, and you’ve probably eaten one yourself recently. I wonder if they have a guy who checks every potato and inspects it to make sure it’s up to Idaho potato standards. If they do, I wonder if he’s ever found one potato to be too sexy.

Idaho cheerleaders

You see, in Idaho, they don’t just take their potatoes seriously. No, they also care about their football team at the University of Idaho. Earlier this season the school made a change to the football team’s uniforms when players and fans alike complained that the “I” located on everybody’s butt looked stupid.

They were right, they did look stupid. Well now it seems the power has gone to people’s heads in Idaho, as now they’ve ditched the cheerleaders uniforms because they’re “too skimpy.”

Read more…

England Sports Minister Unhappy With High Soccer Salaries

UK SPORTS MINISTER INCENSED AT HIGH SOCCER SALARIES: England’s sports minister isn’t happy with the high salaries of the country’s soccer stars:

Wayne Rooney Manchester United

REUTERS reports that minister Gerry Sutcliffe has called some of the players’ wages “obscene”, and has concerns with high-profile clubs like Manchester United & Chelsea spending such large amounts of money.Don’t tell him about the New York Yankees.

Sutcliffe is fearful that the increased pay and, as a result, increased ticket prices, will keep the average fan away from the game. He notes Man U’s 13% season-ticket sales increase:

That’s taking the game away from the ordinary grass-roots fans. We don’t want to be in a position where people are alienated.”

So, higher prices would halt appearances of die-hard hooligans at the stadium, the types of fans that would beat you senseless if you happen to wear the wrong color scarf? And the problem is…?

Besides, if you try regulating spending and capping team profits, you know what that’s called?

Lenin

COMMUNISM!