USOC Sues Colo. Strip Club Over “Pole Olympics”

Well, now the U.S. Olympic Committee has really gone and done it. They’re willing to support Michael Phelps despite his bongariffic weed habit, but they’re not willing to let some Colorado Springs strippers engage in a little bit of friendly competition? That’s just not fair!

PT's Showclubs girls

(See! We can call it a cabaret, they use artsy black and white photography!)

Fair or not, the higher-ups at the Colorado Springs-based organization filed a cease and desist lawsuit against one of their hometown strip clubs, PT’s Showclub, after the cabaret (Can we call a strip club a cabaret? Eh, what the heck, let’s call it a cabaret) ran an ad in the COLORADO SPRINGS GAZETTE advertising their first annual Pole Olympics.

And how did PT’s Showclub respond? Quite cleverly, if you ask us: They ran the same ad again six days later, with the “c” and “s” at the end of “Olympics” crossed out. Touche’, PT’s Showclub, touche’!

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Cue Daniel Powter: Colorado HS Team Loses 94-1

Every team has a bad day or two over the course of a season. After all, Daniel Powter is still getting plenty of royalties from musical montages on ESPN, so even big name programs have their share of struggles. Most even find themselves blown out at least once, when matching up with a team that just has more talent. Well, Boulder (Colo.) Justice High School’s girls’ basketball team took that altruism to a new extreme in a loss to Greeley’s Frontier Academy, falling 94-1 on Tuesday night.

girls high school basketball cry
(There was an awful lot of this Tuesday night in Colorado.)

Yes, you read that right: 94-1. Justice High scored a single point, on a free throw in the third quarter. They trailed 48-0 at halftime.

“I’ve had 100 points scored on me before, and I think it’s important to respect the game and to respect your opponent,” Frontier Academy coach Nathan Buxman said. “We show the most respect for our opponents by continuing to play hard.”

Respect is one thing, but 94-1? That seems like a hard sell when trying to prove a team is actually “respecting” its opponent. At a certain point, aren’t you better off holding the ball and playing keep away?

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Flying Tomato Olympic Snowboarder Sets Off Fire Extinguisher

FLYING TOMATO’S COLORADO RESORT FUN EXTINGUISHED: The cops were able to ketchup with the Flying Tomato and charge him with setting off a fire extinguisher:

Shaun White Flying Tomato Snowboarder

KMGH-TV in Denver shoots news from the halfpipe that Olympic snowboarder Shaun White - nicknamed “The Flying Tomato” for his long red hair - was cited for pulling the foamy prank in the Colorado resort town of Breckenridge.Police say a security camera at the Beaver Run Resort caught someone setting off an extinguisher in the game room. A witness said they saw “a white male with long red hair pulling the pin from the fire extinguisher“.

The camera also caught the same fellow “holding a pool cue and ‘playfully’ chasing a young woman around video game machines.”

Shaun White Pamela Anderson

Shaun’s clothes apparently matched those in the video, and his shoes had the same marks as the footprints left in the sprayed-out powder.White was charged with second-degree criminal tampering and ordered to appear in court on March 10.

Bogus, dude.