Pats Are Absolutely Dreadful Without Ailing Brady

If you caught any of the Sunday night Patriots-Buccaneers game, two things were immediately apparent: Pats head coach Bill Belichick was in mid-season, full-on hobo mode, and New England is an unmitigated train wreck without quarterback Tom Brady on the field.

Tom Brady's bum foot

Brady has yet to take a snap in the preseason, and he didn’t even make the trip to Tampa because of what some source, on deep background, described as a “sore foot.” No idea if it’s the same foot Brady was hobbling around on prior to the Super Bowl, but it was enough to keep him back in New England while his teammates got embarrassed on national television.

After the game, Belichick was his usual, forthcoming self when talking about Brady. Read more…

Baby Jesus Isn’t Impressed With Brady, Football

New England Patriots quarterback and Coldplay groupie Tom Brady makes a startling admission in a recent ESQUIRE magazine interview: God doesn’t value him as a quarterback.

Tom Brady Esquire cover

Shocking, I know, but Brady, who apparently split his offseason between vacationing with girlfriend Gisele Bundchen and reading non-football-related books to take his mind off the team’s demoralizing Super Bowl loss, had an epiphany after getting his hands on Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.”

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LeBron Would Play In Europe If The Price Is Right

LeBron James would leave the NBA & play in Europe, all for a yearly salary of only … 50 MILLION DOLLARS! (raises pinky to corner of mouth)

Dr. Evil LeBron James

Prince Fielder is sorry for brawling with Brewers teammate Manny Parra, but isn’t sorry for the kind of competitor he is.

Tiger Woods, the world’s #1 golfer, is having problems going number 1.

• On the heels of Manny Ramirez joining the Dodgers, laundromats in the L.A. area have been inundated with lost red socks.

Carson Palmer is confident the Bengals will win the AFC North.

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Dreamboat Brady Hearts Coldplay And Vice Versa

This sounds about right: The galaxy’s dreamiest quarterback, Tom Brady, is a HUGE Coldplay fan. And after a late New England Patriots practice on Monday, Brady and ladyfriend Gisele Bundchen made their way to the building formerly known as the Boston Garden to take in a show.

Tom Brady and Gisele

According to THE TRACK, Brady missed Tuesday’s practice. Although, if I had to guess, it probably had less to do with downing too many Zimas at the previous night’s concert, and more to do with resting his arm in preparation for the regular season.

In any event, Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin dedicated a song to the Patriots signal caller, which somehow seems fitting:

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Coldplay Pairs w/ESPN to Sell Soccer, Kill ESPN

WE ARE THE POSTMEN, who can call us Flower if they want to, have found that ESPN has hooked up with UEFA and Coldplay for a three-way marketing fluid exchange to drop songs from Coldplay’s upcoming record into Euro 2008 coverage in June.

Bob Marley with soccer ball

(What do you mean, “But Bob’s not coming out with a new album any time soon”? Just make it happen)

Someone crunched numbers and ran Q1 numbers to conclude U.S. soccer fans like their adult contemporary rock. Considering we know a certain member of UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL spent a lot of time with Wilco earlier this spring, we’re not sure we can disagree with any conviction. (We’re also fairly sure we’re the first to combine Coldplay and Wilco since Austin in 2005.)
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