Speed Read: Floyd’s Follies Continue to Roil USC

Tim Floyd, USC’s men’s basketball coach for the moment (and this after almost becoming a leader of Wildcats), allegedly paid a handler a thousand dollars in cash to be delivered to O.J. Mayo in a successful attempt to encourage the young point guard to follow through on joining USC for a season after signing his letter of intent.  (No, the handler wasn’t Li’l Romeo.  Good guess, though.)

O.J. Mayo Tim Floyd

Everyone from the handler to Floyd to USC could be in varying levels of trouble if true.  Therefore, absolutely no one except YAHOO! SPORTS’ source will speak on the record.   Their investigative journalism has been hit and miss, though their commitment to providing original reporting has not wavered.

It’s unclear how seriously the reporting from the site with the silly name can be taken, though, as they clearly do not have fake conversations where they hype their stories around a ridiculously small table while being filmed in black-and-white.  It’s not really journalism if it’s colorized.

E60 from ESPN

(Journalism!)

From one stereotypically smoky back room to another, Delaware’s legislature has passed a law permitting sports betting in a desperate attempt to fill a gaping $600 million maw in the state budget.  The governor has promised his signature on the bill once the state Supreme Court has spoken to the state constitutionality of the bill.

Delaware is one of only four states with a legal exemption to a 1992 federal law banning sports gambling and the only one east of the Mississippi.  State lawmakers have high hopes of becoming a gambling mecca for sports enthusiasts; one called the opportunity “an unbelievable cash cow”.  Again, it’s unclear how true this can be if no one will be allowed to gamble on the Wilmington Blue Rocks.

Wilmington Blue Rocks - Rocky Bluewinkle

(The only thing you can tease here is the moose, sir)

Finally, from one set of rocks to another, Boston came back to defeat the Orlando Magic 92-88 last night to take a 3-2 series lead in a highly predictable collapse from the team in blue that has only one mode: jack the three up and cross your fingers.

Magic against Celtics

Houston also got a condescending pat on the head for their Game 4 effort without Yao Ming before being penetrated 118-78 by the Lakers and falling behind 3-2 in their series. The Rockets now only have one reliable position: fetal.

Phil Mickelson and wife

(”… so that’s winning!  Interesting.”)

On the other hand, three fine NHL Game 7s have now been scheduled after wins by Anaheim and Boston last night.  Detroit never found its offense despite approximately 40392109 minutes on the power play while Carolina’s Cam Ward couldn’t quite figure out what all that goalie equipment should be used for. One possibility: handing off $1,000 in cash to the next O.J. Mayo?

Anaheim Ducks

And now a hail of bullet points discovered behind the olive loaf sandwich in the break room fridge; you know, the fridge that sent half your office to the hospital

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A-Rod Makes History: Instant Replay Confirms HR

It only took a week for Major League Baseball to use instant replay to gift the New York Yankees a win. (Hey, when the laws of probability suggest you have a 0.9 percent chance of making it to the postseason, a little help doesn’t hurt. Plus, who doesn’t want to see the Yanks in the playoffs? Exactly.)

Alex Rodriguez on a boat

Shockingly, the play in question involved Alex Rodriguez, who hit what appeared to be a home run down the left field line until the catwalk at Tropicana Field got in the way (one more reason the Rays need a new stadium: the current one features such charming elements as a catwalk). Cue the controversy:

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Tatum Bell, Former NFLer, Has New Gig As Porter

Tatum Bell, porter

  • Rockies manager Clint Hurdle hates the Dodgers because … well, I have no idea. Seems like a lot of energy to waste on a team that won the NL West one time this decade.
  • Toronto Argonauts wide receiver Arland Bruce III breaks out quite possibly the most arbitrary touchdown celebration in the history of tackle football: he donned a Spider-Man mask. Chad Javon Ocho Cinco is unimpressed.
  • This makes sense: Ben Gordon, Chicago Bulls guard and British citizen might consider playing in Russia for the right price. It’s all very urbane. Or maybe he’s just trying to make a few extra bucks on his NBA deal.

Rockies Manager Hurdle: “I just hate the Dodgers”

Clint Hurdle is all that is wrong with this country. The Rockies manager told the DENVER POST that he abhors the Dodgers, which is as un-American as hating the Dallas Cowboys, or Peter King speaking ill of Brett Favre.

Clint Hurdle

I thought that despising the Los Angeles baseball team that actually plays in LA was a right reserved for Jeff Kent (and, eventually, Manny Ramirez, because that’s his shtick), but apparently anybody can do it.

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Clint Hurdle Needs a Little Pepto-Bismol Right Now

*FOR IMMEDIATE DELIVERY*
Shipment: 1 case (cs) of Pepto-Bismol
Address: 4 Yawkey Way, Boston, MA 02215

Pepto-Bismol Clint Hurdle

Attention: Clint Hurdle