You’d Never Know It By Looking At Eric Mangini
I don’t know how many times I’ve set out for Chick-fil-A on Sunday …
… and then remembered half-way there, or when I’m pulling up.
My New Favorite Web Site: ClevelandFrowns.com
I’m sure Paul Brown would approve of this Cleveland Browns fan website, ClevelandFrowns.com:
Lest you think the site is great in name only, check out the epic piece of cinematography posted on the front page - which includes a Brownies fan putting his foot through the roof of a porta-potty as one of Cleveland’s finest enjoys the view.
Video after the jump. Read more…
Braylon To Cleveland Fans: ‘No More Messages!’
New on ABC: “Everybody Hates Braylon.” In this week’s episode, disgruntled Cleveland Browns fans are bombarding Braylon Edwards with Twitter and text messages, reminding him that he isn’t exactly their favorite receiver. Braylon is not exactly amused by the abuse, as you can see in one of his replies, below. Where’s that YouTube crying guy when you actually need him?
Browns fans have been piling on since last week, when Edwards was traded to the Jets for, as one Twitter hooligan phrased it, “a flobee and 7 pounds of air.” Read more…
A Braylon Edwards-LeBron James Feud? Awesome
It’s a scenario that would be totally rejected as an “Entourage” spec script, but since this is real life, and Cleveland, it’s totally believable. The Browns’ Braylon Edwards supposedly slugged a friend of LeBron James outside of a nightclub late Sunday night, and now James is sniping back at Edwards via Twitter.
Edward Givens has told police that Edwards assaulted him outside of View nightclub in Cleveland at about 2:30 a.m. this morning. Givens, who said that he went to Lutheran Hospital this morning for a black eye, a cut and a headache, is friends with LeBron. This is what LeBron has to say about it via a sportswriter’s Twitter account: Read more…
Browns Saying No Mas To Generalisimo Mangini?
In the glory days of the 49ers, owner Eddie DeBartolo was infamous for packing up the entire team and trundling them off to Hawaii for a couple of days of R&R, on his own dime. Just a gesture to show you how much we care, you adorable lugs. And coach Bill Walsh was noted for his light practices and tendency to dress as a bellhop at the team hotel. Current Browns coach Eric Mangini has a different approach.
Five of his players are pursuing grievances with the NFLPA for his prolific use of the ticket book. The Browns coach as fined players for such things as illegal parking, having their cell phones go off in meetings, and my favorite: Not paying a hotel bill for a $3 bottle of water. And judging by Sunday’s 34-3 loss to Baltimore, the players may have had enough. Have the Browns quit on Mangini?
NFL Morality Police Wage War Against Bare Skin
Anyone who went to a conservative religious school growing up probably remembers the gusto with which teachers and administrators enforced school dress codes. Not paying attention in class? Who cares. Bullying freshmen in the hallway? No problem. But heaven forbid a student show up to class with an uncollared shirt or too-short skirt - those were the real dangers facing the youth of America! Instant demerits!
It’s kinda like the NFL. If you’re an NFL player, your job is to put your body in as much peril as possible to emerge victorious from one of the most brutal and vicious sports in this country. Players are accused of domestic violence with alarming regularity. Some players have killed other people, others have been implicated in murders. And yet they play on. But wear your shorts too far above the knee? That’ll be $5,000, you immoral hell-bound heathen.
Browns Player Fined $1,701 Over $3 Bottled Water
Eric Mangini is certainly making an impression in Cleveland. The Browns coach has so far sent rookies on a 10-hour bus trip to work at a “voluntary” football camp, demanded $500,000 worth of changes to the coaching offices, and has even been accused of spreading “diva” rumors about Michael Crabtree (although that last item seems to have some truth to it).
And now the Mangenius is trying to instill the notion in his players’ heads to be fiscally responsible & always settle your debts. How far is the coach willing to go to teach this lesson? He apparently fined a player $1,701 over a $3 bottle of water.
Browns “Blew It” By Passing On Peterson In Draft
The NFL opening weekend continues on Saturday, and a whole lotta eyes will be on the shores of Lake Erie, where the Minnesota Vikings will pay a visit to the Cleveland Browns. Most folks will be watching to see how Brett Favre does with his new team now that the games actually count. But the Vikes also have another primetime player in the backfield in electric RB Adrian Peterson.
However, had things shaken up differently in the draft two years ago, Peterson could be running like mad for this Sunday’s opponent - Purple Jesus could have been Brown Jesus. And a former Cleveland personnel staffer says his team screwed up by not picking Peterson.
Breaking, Entering, Pooping With Orlando Brown
Orlando Brown had an 11-year NFL career, but unfortunately he will always be known as the dude who almost lost his eye when a referee hit him in the face with a penalty flag. What are the odds? Well, now the former Cleveland Brown can be known for something else.
Brown was arrested on Friday after breaking into his ex-wife’s house and trashing the place, leaving among as a calling card a nice big dump in the basement. As we learned in the case of Najeh Davenport Poops In A Laundry Basket, the courts consider that criminal mischief. Read more…
Let’s Stop With The Plaxico Sentencing Histrionics
After yesterday’s sentencing of Plaxico Burress to two years in prison, it seems like you couldn’t turn around without hearing another person wailing, “Donte Stallworth gets 26 days for killing a man and Plaxico gets two years for shooting himself? Where’s the justice! I thought this was America!”
Okay. Back the truck up here. Stallworth and Burress’ cases have f–k-all to do with each other outside of the fact that both are in the NFL and they got sentenced in the same year. So let’s dispense with the flimsy comparisons of a DUI and a gun charge. And let’s also make one thing clear: Plaxico didn’t get two years for shooting himself.
