Mike Veeck wants to show you how to have fun - for college credit.

The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that the minor league owner known for bizarre promotions will be teaching a graduate marketing course at The Citadel.

Veeck, whose business motto is “Fun is Good”, is part of a group that runs the nearby Charleston Riverdogs. During his tenure, he’s come up with such promotions as Nobody Night. On that evening, fans were locked out of the ballpark in order to set a new record for lowest-ever attendance.

Veeck also has a hand in running a couple of other clever minor league franchises: The St. Paul Saints, creators of the Michael Vick Dog Chew Toy giveaway; and the Ft. Myers Miracle, host of Billy Donovan Night, where fans were able to negotiate to get their ticket money back. The event was held in honor of Donovan’s brief flirtation with the Orlando Magic.

But Veeck is probably best known for organizing Disco Demolition Night - the 1979 White Sox promotion that resulted in on-field riots and a game forfeit.

Hope the Citadel’s classrooms have their albums locked up tight.

DUCKS QB HAS A LOT OF BALLS TAKING BILLIARDS CLASS: Dennis Dixon has a lot of balls playing for Oregon this year - since the only college course he’s taking is billiards:

The SALEM (OR) STATESMAN JOURNAL quacks up the news that the Ducks QB and latest Heisman candidate is queuing under center on the field, and cueing up off it.Dixon has already reached his requirements for receiving a degree in sociology. But don’t judge Dennis too harshly on his choice of last class. He could have gone the easy route by taking ice skating or juggling, but he obviously wanted to run the (pool) table.

It’s actually a smart move by Dixon. If his pro football career goes bust, Dennis can still make it onto ESPN - by playing in billiards contests the network airs on Sundays opposite NFL games.

NAVY CANCELS CLASS AFTER NOTRE DAME “MIRACLE” WHIP The BALTIMORE SUN has the news that first-year midshipmen, or “plebes” at the Naval Academy were given a break from school to celebrate the snapping of Navy’s 43-game losing streak against Notre Dame.

The midshipmen normally are required to stay on campus on Sunday, but they were given leave yesterday and today’s classes were canceled altogether.

Our favorite part of the reax by the seamen came at Sunday morning Mass at the academy chapel, where the chaplain called the win a “miracle“.

The only miracle involving the game last Saturday was Charlie Weis’ spread of choice at the postgame buffet.