Aww, baby… you know Willie Bloomquist didn’t mean nothin’ by it. He’s jus’ a man playing utility infielder for the Seattle Mariners, girl; you know he can’t control himself sometimes. He jus’ sees a pretty clam all up in his face and he gets sprung, y’know? He’s jus’ a utility infielder, baby! We ain’t sayin’ he’s a clam digger, girl; we just know he ain’t learnin’ how to hit a breakin’ ball.
So… uhm… do you think you could get him out of that ticket for digging up too many razor clams in Twin Harbors? ‘Cause, uhm, that would be cool. No? Okay. He’ll cough up the $50 fine.