Cincinnati Bearcats ‘Adopt’ Young Cancer Patient

One of the marks of a good college football coach is what he encourages his players to do off the football field. No, check that - what his players actually do off the field. It’s not like coaches at discipline-troubled schools actually tell their players to commit crimes and cheat on test. But a coach who has his players acting right and making a difference in the community? That is a good coach.

Cincinnati Bearcats Mitch Stone Cancer

Brian Kelly, for example, is a good coach. Aside from the Bearcats’ considerable success on the field (21-6 for the last two seasons, Orange Bowl bid in 2008, 5-0 and ranked 8th this season), the program is squeaky-clean, a welcome development after the eyebrow-raising regime of Bob Huggins on the Cincinnati hardwood. So as they prepare for their biggest game of the season - a road test at #21 South Florida tonight - they do so with the help of Mitch Stone, the 12-year-old cancer patient that they’ve “adopted.”

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Erin Andrews To “Start Thinking About A Family”?

It’s been disconcerting to see the rather muted appearances of a college football fixture like Erin Andrews this season. Yes, she’s been around, and yes, she’s certainly got an excuse for a decreased presence, but we’ve been a little disheartened all the same. Has this whole peephole stalker thing really gotten to her?

Erin Andrews on Oprah

If we had to guess, we’d say “yes, it has.” That’s because in her recent interview with FANHOUSE, Andrews still had good things to say about her job; she just also had good things to say about things that weren’t her job, namely cutting back her work and, in her words, starting a family.

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Cincy Radio Host: Bearcats Breed Illegitimate Kids

When you’re in a conservative city on the border of the South and the Midwest, and that city has not one but two significant college basketball programs chock full of recruits from around the country, there are bound to be cultural conflicts between the city’s traditional base and the teams that are now a significant part of the city itself. That’s exactly what’s happening in Cincinnati, and the results are getting ugly. The latest proof? Conservative radio host Bill Cunningham opined this morning that University of Cincinnati basketball players are, “poppin’ those things (illegitimate children) out like cherry pits out of one’s mouth.”

bill cunningham cincinnati radio
(Meet the new Don Imus: Now with even more overt racism!)

He really said it, folks - we’re not making this kind of bigoted trash up, as you can see and hear at this FAN NATION post. In fact, the entirety of Cunningham’s quote was a lot more inflammatory than that. Here it is, though you might want to brace yourself to hear every rash, racist “player” stereotype that can get thrown out about African-American athletes. You can also hear it in a video clip right after the jump. Ready? OK, here we go:

“How many illegitimate children does the UC men’s basketball team have? I heard it’s more than a half dozen.” Cunningham responded to himself, ignoring his producer’s conciliatory reply. “So there’s some hangin’ and bangin’ going on at the Shoemaker Center after the game. … [T]hey’re poppin’ those things out like cherry pits out of one’s mouth.” Cunningham openly mused.

Clearly, Cunningham has gone way beyond the bounds of reasonable comedic radio journalism. In fact, he’s gone way beyond the bounds of taste and, in our opinion, employability. Clearly, he’s forgotten Don Imus and how his “nappy-headed hos” comment went down over at Rutgers a couple of years ago.

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Speed Read: Bearcats Go Bust In Their BCS Debut

It started so well for Cincinnati in the Orange Bowl against Virginia Tech. On their first drive of their first-ever BCS bowl game, they marched down the field and scored a touchdown thanks to a pair of big receptions by TE Mardy Gilyard. It was an instant 7-0 lead and a sign to anyone switching over from the dog that was the Rose Bowl that this game could be good.

Cincinnati QB Tony Pike after throwing another INT against the Hokies

And then…pfft. Cincinnati spent the rest of the game playing like a team that was scared to death of being on the big stage. Meanwhile, the Hokies were being the Hokies - physical,  methodical, boring - and just doing enough to salt the game away. The end result? A 20-7 Virginia Tech victory that was moderately more fun to watch than the Sun Bowl. (Hey, at least El Paso had The Village People!)

Meanwhile, in Japan…well, it’s your usual assortment of weirdness from the world of K-1. Specifically, their latest fight card was headlined by Bob Sapp, who combines the physique of Butterbean with the MMA fighting skills of Kimbo Slice into one freak show package that the Japanese can’t get enough of even if no one in the US cares. (Sort of like Cheap Trick.)

Bob Sapp versus a cartoon character

His latest opponent? Um, some guy in a wrestling mask that Sapp outweighed by 140 pounds. And oh yeah, the guy he fought was based on a cartoon character named Kinnikuman. Basically, it’s like if Brock Lesnar fought against the actual Captain Crunch. No, I don’t get it either, but I don’t get most Japanese things (Shonen Knife, sushi, Bobby Valentine). CAGE WRITER has analysis of the card and video of the Sapp/Fictional Character match:

Here’s what else was happening while you were breaking some to all of your New Year’s Resolutions:

  • Bad news for Florida Gator fans: AWFUL ANNOUNCING says that according to Fox, Tim Tebow has apparently decided to transfer to Cincinnati. And play right tackle. And convert to Islam. Either that, or the graphics department at Fox is a mess.
  • Tim Tebow playing for Cincinnati

  • UTEP back-up QB Jeken Frye was attacked on New Year’s Eve by a group of known gang members who came to the house he was at armed with crowbars and metal water meter covers. Not to make light of a serious situation, but honestly - metal water meter covers?
  • The roof of the Ora L. Wildermuth Intramural Center at Indiana was damaged by careless welders (wasn’t that a Wham song?), according to the AP. It’s named after the former school president from the 1930s and 1940s who favored strict segregation. Chuck D. says to let the sucker burn.
  • In case you missed it (and frankly, I can’t imagine that you did), video has finally been posted of David Hasselhoff’s triumphant National Anthem performance at the Las Vegas Bowl. And you know what? He’s not quite Marvin Gaye, but it wasn’t a Carl Lewis-style meltdown, either.
  • CAGE WRITER has another UFC fighter doing a Rampage Jackson impersonation: Josh Neer was arrested after leading Iowa police on a lengthy, high-speed car chase. Yeah, but it wasn’t a monster truck, and he sure didn’t have his picture on the side of his car.
  • The CINCINNATI ENQUIRER has word of a girls high school basketball player who is suing her school because she was injured while scrimmaging against men. But the good news is that the way her shoulder separated was very fundamentally sound.
  • Eastern Washington head basketball coach Kent Earlywine missed out on coaching his team against Boise State on Monday, according the SPOKANE SPOKESMAN-REVIEW, because he had been popped for a DUI that weekend. But he was able to watch the game online. I guess he had his “wine” a little too “early,” huh? (Insert rimshot here.)
  • The MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE says Minnesota Golden Gophers head hockey coach Don Lucia is suffering from an “undisclosed illness” and might miss his first-ever game in 22 years of coaching the team when they take on Brown tonight. I once went a whole three weeks at my old job between missing time with an “undisclosed illness,” otherwise known as being hungover.
  • The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE debunks the latest Manny Ramirez rumors, saying “it would be a mistake to put too much stock” into rumors that have the slugger coming to the Giants next season. Still, if you think Dodgers fans hated Barry Bonds
  • Don Larsen might have pitched the only perfect game in World Series history, but the SEATTLE TIMES says his flight from Idaho to New York to tape a segment for the new MLB Network was a perfect mess, turning a 60-hour trip into six days of travel hell.

Choose your favorite rendition of the National Anthem:

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Speed Read: Oregon Sports Teams End Year Up

The conventional wisdom is that the Pac-10 was having an exceedingly down year. In fact, that’s probably the main reason that USC was left out of the National Championship discussion: their one loss against a Pac-10 school was far worse than a loss to an SEC or Big 12 team.

Oregon celebrates versus Oklahoma State

So what do we make of Oregon’s 42-31 victory over Oklahoma State in last night’s Holiday Bowl? Yes, the Ducks featured an explosive offense, which you would expect from an Oregon team and is apparently mandatory to play in the Holiday Bowl. But the story was their defense in the second half, which put the clamps on the Cowboys’ star QB Zac Robinson.

How physical were they? DR. SATURDAY has some video evidence from YouTube of just one of the many big hits Robinson took in the second half:

It was just a big day all around for Oregon sports teams. Along with the Ducks winning the Holiday Bowl, the Portland Trail Blazers did the improbable on Tuesday night, taking out the defending champion Boston Celtics 91-86 without the services of injured All-Star guard Brandon Roy.

Trail Blazers vs Celtics

Keeping in mind it might be foolish for the Celtics to start panicking now - they are still 28-5 - but they have lost three of four. Oh hell, where the fun of having a sense of perspective: between this, the Patriots missing the playoffs and the Red Sox getting rejected by Mark Teixeira, let’s start wildly speculating about the end of the Boston sports dynasty.

Other sports news that happened as you prepare to get your drank on tonight:

Who will you be counting down to the New Year with?

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Ole Miss B-Ball Coach Beats Up Cincinnati Cabbie

• Ole Miss basketball coach Andy Kennedy returns to Cincinnati in grand fashion - by assaulting a cab driver with fists & racial slurs.

Andy Kennedy Ole Miss basketball coach

• Could we see Manny Ramirez in pinstripes before too long?

Eddy Curry has casually avoided a $41,000 bill from Casual Male.

• Ex-Hoosier Eric Gordon says drugs did in Indiana’s season last year.

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Orange Bowl Tix Now Cost Less Than A Shamwow

Looking for good seats to a BCS bowl game? Do you have loose change scattered around the house? Then you’re in luck. We all know that most bowl games will see a bit of a dip in attendance this year due to the rough economy, but things are bordering on ridiculous.

Dolphins Stadium

(Luckily, Dolphins Stadium is used to holding sparsely-attended events)

As of last night, Orange Bowl tickets were going on StubHub for as little as $1. The prices have gone up since then, but there are hundreds of seats that can be had for anywhere from $3.25 to $20. It probably doesn’t help that the Virginia Tech-Cincinnati matchup is less desirable than the freaking Poinsettia Bowl. So much for New Year’s Day prestige. More good deals after the jump:

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Ole Miss Coach Arrested For Assaulting Cab Driver

Andy Kennedy has made a newsworthy return to the city of Cincinnati. The former Bearcats basketball coach is back in town to lead his Ole Miss Rebels in action against Louisville tonight.

Andy Kennedy Ole Miss coach

(Coach Kennedy, undoubtedly shouting something about a man’s mother and a camel)

Then again, he might not. There’s a tiny little matter of Andy allegedly assaulting a cab driver, all while spewing forth racial slurs at the cabbie.

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Former NBAer Blount Busted With Lots Of Blunts

The CINCINNATI ENQUIRER reports that former Cincinnati Bearcat star and NBA journeyman Corie Blount was arrested on Thursday and charged with felony marijuana possession. It’s the least-shocking sports arrest since NHL player Rick Crayck* was busted for cocaine.

Corie Blount

And it wasn’t just - well, a blunt - that Blount was arrested for. Police confiscated more 29 pounds of marijuana from his house, along with $29,500 in cash, three vehicles and three guns. That’s a lot of pot - not quite Bam Morris level, but an impressive amount none the less, as you can see:

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7-Year-Old Fan Skillfully Picks Up Erin Andrews

When someone successfully navigates the tricky terrain that is macking on Erin Andrews, we feel the need to bring you the news. It is the SbB mission statement after all. So when we stumbled upon the following video, we knew we needed to broadcast it to the masses. Apparently, the only thing you have to do in order to lure Ms. Andrews into a conversation is be 7 years old. Oh, and get sandwiched by an enormous wide receiver.

Garrett Monroe Erin Andrews

(It doesn’t hurt to wear partial blackface, either)

From THE POOP comes the story of the young Garrett Monroe, a Cincinnati Bearcats superfan who was in the front row watching his team upset 23rd-ranked South Florida last night. Things were going great until the 2nd quarter, when he lost a little bit of his previous innocence.

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