THIS REALLY ISN’T BREAKING NEWS TO YANKEES, NL FANS: The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS has breaking news that we thought Christine Daniels surely would’ve had first: The Mets media guide is wrong!

Turns out Mets pitcher John Maine isn’t just a right-handed batter, but more likely a switch-hitter.NYDN Excerpt: “At the opening of Touch nightclub Thursday night, Mets pitcher John Maine followed an attractive young woman into the ladies’ bathroom. He even went into the stall with her, but she wasn’t prepared for what came next.”

The NYDN then relays that Maine “asked her if he could try on the little black dress she was wearing.“ Sadly, the woman declined, probably after seeing the paltry price that the De La Hoya photos were sold for.

If you’re from New York, we apologize for posting this story as breaking news, since we know you’ve all known this for some time - along with the rest of the National League.

ACTUALLY WE’LL BE WATCHING JERRY JONES ON NIP/TUCK: Christine Daniels has the sobering news that the handful of NFL fans left in Los Angeles will be treated to the Chargers-Raiders game this Sunday on CBS instead of Cowboys-Patriots:

Excerpt: “CBS is carrying both games, which are scheduled to kick off at the same time, 1:15 p.m. Ninety percent of the nation will see the 5-0 Patriots against the 5-0 Cowboys, but a KCBS Sports spokesperson said Tuesday that the Los Angeles market will instead get the 2-2 Raiders at the 2-3 Chargers.”

Mike Nelson, KCBS-TV PR guy in Los Angeles: “The NFL considers Los Angeles a secondary market for the Chargers, so NFL regulations require CBS to carry the Chargers home game, unless it isn’t sold out.”

Non-Angeleno explanation: Thanks to the Raiders criminal following in L.A., all the Bolts-Oakland games are sold out every season in Diego.

The KCBS-TV spokeshole Nelson though gets out the long knives for anyone might have the gall to call him on it: “You know how football fans, and sports fans in general, are … they want what they want. Its certainly frustrating for some people.”

Yeah, he’s a little patronizing, but give the guy a break. If we had to explain how the “SURVIVOR: CHINA” Fantasy League works 50 times a day, we’d be touchy too.

THERE GOES DANIELS’ 18-CENT ANNUAL RESIDUAL CHECK: The WASHINGTON POST reports the amusing news that “Nip/Tuck” creator Ryan Murphy recently “sold a pilot to FX network for a series called ‘4 Oz.,’ about the metamorphosis of a married sportswriter with children who comes to the realization he is a transsexual.”

Sound familiar?

Of course, the premise is a complete rip-off of the recent plight of LOS ANGELES TIMES sportswriter Mike Penner, who earlier this year announced he was a transsexual and changed his name to Christine Daniels.

Like everyone else in Los Angeles, we’re assuming FX executives don’t read the L.A. TIMES, so they had no idea about the plight of Daniels until it was too late. They’ve since thrown Murphy’s premise down the stairs, with the show now centered on “a married-dad gynecologist practicing with his father who undergoes a sex-change operation.”

The best part: A FX spokeshole lies tells the Post that “the change from sportswriter to gynecologist was made before Daniels penned her famous Los Angeles Times piece in April, formally announcing her new sex and name, though as recently as last month, news reports about the show in development called it a series about a sportswriter.”

UPDATE: Jon Weisman of Dodger Thoughts and VARIETY sends over this story from Variety’s website that indicates the sportswriter angle for the show had been incubating before Daniels’ initial announcement.

We’re no conspiracy theorists, but might Murphy (the show’s creator) have known something about Penner/Daniels’ ordeal before the rest of the world - since both work out of SoCal? Yeah, we know, probably not.

• STOKKE STILL RESISTS MEDIA (WITH ESPN APPEARANCE): Allison Stokke continues to garner *unwanted* media attention today as she appears in-studio at 5pm PT on KSPN-AM’s Mason and Ireland show in Los Angeles (we know, this post is worthless without pics).

• PGA Tour player K.J. Choi says that if he wins the PGA’s new FedEx Cup, he will give 100% of the $10M first prize to charity.

And it could happen, as Choi already has won twice this year, putting him at No. 5 in the FedEx Cup standings.

• Dave Smith of Sporting News Radio has an interesting point: “How is its that hunting is legal and dogfighting is illegal? Hiding in the bushes, covering yourself in deer piss and then shooting a deer in the back of the head. … That’s a sport?”

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS has this find, via our dear friends at the NACOGDOCHES DAILY SENTINEL:

The head followed a win by the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks over the Jacksonville State Gamecocks.

• CHRISTINE DANIELS FINALLY FOUND OUT? Blind item in the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS today: “Which lady sports journalist has become locker-room gossip because of her hands-on approach to covering ball sports?

• Erin of BALLHYPE has the shocking news: Some sports bloggers are actually gainfully employed.

• DODGER PRESS PASSES SHOULD COME WITH GAS MASKS: Somehow Arash Markazi of SI.com is able to pen a piece on the pox of L.A. sports radio, Vic Jacobs, without a mention of the incredible stench emanating from Jacobs’ trademark, ferret-based headgear.

The only thing more foul than the AM radio reporter’s oft-worn yet never washed Pancho? Steve Lavin’s breath (we’re serious).

• Jason Whitlock of the KANSAS CITY STAR unveils his version of Priest Holmes: A selfish faker.

• Dave Krieger Mark Kriegel* of FOX SPORTS notes that Barry Bonds’ bagman, Greg Anderson, has done more hard time than notorious mob figure Sammy “The Bull” Gravano did (in the wake of 19 dead bodies).
(* - no more three fingers of Cutty for lunch!)

• WE’RE GUESSING NENE IS NO LONGER A FOREIGNER FAN: MONEY PLAYERS reports NBA player Nene was bilked out of millions and is “essentially broke“ thanks to agent (parasite) Joe Santos.

• BENMALLER.COM IS NO MORE: The tireless Ben Maller has now completely folded his invaluable (and free) sports news clipping service into the Foxsports.com website. SI.com has started a similiar clipping service at its new Fannation.com website.

LAT’S DANIELS SERVICES VAST ARRAY OF READER’S NEEDS: Last night for the first time this season, we actually watched a Dodger game of our own volition. In other words, the game wasn’t the only teevee choice at our favorite westside watering hole.

But while we have our own thoughts on Barry Bonds’ rather confused, impotent performance, we’ll leave it up to the formerly-drab Christine Daniels of the LOSS ANGELES TIMES to fill you in on what happened last night.

And while she’s at it, Daniels can also provide handy advice on how to get your gender officially changed on your drivers license (who said the circulation-challenged newspaper isn’t truly a full-service media outlet?)

COLUMNIST - LAT’S DANIELS “NOT AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN“: Last Sunday was a landmark coming out party for a sports figure at the Home Depot Center in Carson, CA. No, not David Beckham. Try Christine Daniels (formerly Mike Penner), transvestite sports writer for the LOSS ANGELES TIMES.

Daniels covered her first in-person event since making the decision to publicly change gender three months ago.

Daniels describes the scene: “(David Beckham) arrived wearing a silver-gray Burberry suit, surrounded by a phalanx of assistants and yes-people…I arrived wearing a golden-hued top from Ross and a multi-colored paisley skirt from Ames and a pair of open-toed tan heels from Aerosoles, surrounded by nobody…

“It was a big deal for me because I’d waited more than 25 years for this moment, dreaming about how it might play out if it ever came to be, if and when and fingers tightly crossed.”

SAN BERNARDINO SUN columnist Paul Oberjuerge was on the scene to give an in-person account: “It seemed almost as we’re all going along with someone’s dress-up role playing.

“I hate to be judgmental about these things, but Christine is not an attractive woman. Which probably isn’t a surprise when you’re 50 and have spent your in-the-world life as a fairly drab guy. Who has a fairly prominent Adam’s apple (not all of us do) … Who also isn’t exactly petite. Maybe 6-1, 200?

“So … she looks like a guy in a dress, pretty much. Except anyone paying any attention isn’t going to be fooled — as some people are by veteran transvestites.

“The thing is, and maybe this is cruel, but there were women in that room who were born women in body as well as soul. And the difference between them and Christine was, in my mind, fairly stark.“