Noah Chillaxes In Caribbean w/Half-Naked Gal Pal

• We’re quite Bullish on Joakim Noah’s bare-breasted beach bunny:

Joakim Noah topless girlfriend

• The Game 7 finale of the fantastic Penguins-Capitals series turned out to be a pretty boring blowout.

Sam Young’s burgeoning NBA career may have been screwed up by a loose screw.

• Two strokes aren’t stopping an ump trying to get back to the Big Show.

• Citi Field’s first streaker took eight years to plan out his magical run.

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Cops Give Pervy Coach Chris Hansen Treatment

At this point, should we call the Oxford English Dictionary people and see if they can add “Chris Hansened” into next year’s edition? I know it’s two words and all, but it’s so convenient and everyone knows exactly what it means. For example: the CHATTANOOGA TIMES FREE PRESS reports that a youth softball coach thought he was going to a local park to meet a 12-year-old girl for sex, but it turns out the local police had Chris Hansened him and he was arrested.

Charles Casseday

See how easy that is? We all understand what happened to 31-year-old Charles Casseday: there was no 12-year-old girl waiting at the park, as the whole thing was a sting operation set up by police, not unlike what happens to unsuspecting creeps on NBC’s “Dateline” when they think they are going to an empty house for sex with an underage kid only to discover host Hansen and about 30 cops waiting for him.

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Sex Offending Ump Receives Prestigious Award

Being a Little League ump is a thankless job. You volunteer your time, are forced to don layers of heavy protective equipment while squatting in the hot sun for hours at a time, and are forced to listen to bratty kids and their jerk parents argue about your calls. That’s why it’s a big deal for an ump to finally get some appreciation by receiving an award. It’s just that usually the umps getting the awards aren’t convicted sex offenders.

Chris Hansen, To Catch a Predator

(Why don’t you have a seat, Mr. Barbero?)

A group of umpires in Torrington, Connecticut, are in hot water after giving Tom Barbero a lifetime achievement award despite his lurid past. Barbero was an umpire from 1970 to 1998 in the Babe Ruth League, which includes players between the ages of 13 and 15. Unfortunately, that’s the same age group Barbero was unable to “check his swing” with.

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