Chris Bosh Saves The Internet For 800+ Athletes

There probably aren’t any statistics to bear this out, but we’re pretty damned sure that the lowest ratio of IQ-to-income among all professions belongs to athletes, who display an uncanny ability to blow through unholy amounts of money as soon as they get it. That’s not news, of course, but it makes them prime targets for people looking for an easy dollar.

Chris Bosh loves music SO MUCH
(This man is your hero.)

Cyber-squatters, of course, are some such people, and one in particular made an effort to claim the names of hundreds upon hundreds of athletes. Unfortunately, one of those athletes just so happened to be Chris Bosh. Bosh does have money, but rather than cough up a cent for his eponymous domain name, he used said money on lawyers, who have the “get rich off rich people” game on lock. A (metaphorical) layup in court later, and over 800 domain names are free, including some absolute gems.

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NBA Salary Cap Imploding For 2010’s Free Agents

You’ll probably recall that as the current free agency period for the NBA kicked off recently, lots of the focus went to next year’s class, the crown jewels of which being Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, Dirk Nowitzki, and some LeBron James character. Which franchise would land each one? Would two team up to essentially buy a title* like the Celtics?

David Stern OK sign
(”No, I don’t mean ‘everything will be A-OK.’ I mean you have this much to spend next summer. Enjoy!”)

Unfortunately, this may be the first free agency period that was over an entire year before it started. For beginners, as we mentioned this morning, the salary cap will be falling a full million dollars for the 2009 season. That’s just a breeze before a hurricane, though; as Marc Stein at ESPN.COM reports, David Stern sent out a memo to owners warning that the salary cap could be coming down in 2010. Way, way down:  Read more…

Force Sister Continues to Bring “Hot” to Hot Rods

• Racers on the hot rod circuit will have to deal with a new emerging (and enchanting) force - Ashley Force’s younger sister Courtney:

Courtney Force

• Everything is magical about Tom Brady - from his supermodel wife to his miraculously quick recovery from knee surgery.

Kimbo Slice is trying to get back into MMA the only way he knows how - through a UFC reality TV series.

• Justice Clarence Thomas knows how to keep football recruits committed to Nebraska - by speaking at their high school commencement.

• Remember to always take special care when celebrating your soccer team’s promotion on top of a bouncy Brazilian bus.

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Bosh Branching Out into Music, DVD Compilations

Chris Bosh is a man of many talents. To call him a “Renaissance Man” is to devalue the term to its lowest point in recorded history, but let’s give him some credit: he’s a world-class basketball player, a comedian, and a weatherman. The only other person who can claim all those three qualities is Al Roker. Dude, Roker can ball.

Chris Bosh loves music SO MUCH
(Bosh also has the “I’m pretending to listen to music” face down cold.)

And though Bosh remains in the black hole of media attention that is the Raptors franchise, Warner Music Canada has at least noticed Bosh’s off-court exploits and was sufficiently impressed to sign the big man to a CD and DVD deal for later this year, according to CANADA.COM. I see some furrowed brows out there, but allow Bosh himself to reassure you - he’s not going to rap (pops to PDF):

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Anna Rawson Going Go Daddy; Japan Wins WBC

• Gorgeous Aussie golfer Anna Rawson is your newest Go Daddy Girl.

Anna Rawson

• Japan wins its second World Baseball Classic. Konnichiwa, bitches!

• If it’s not coaches molesting their younger players, it’s the coaches’ wives doing the dirty deed.

• Buy some vodka, get a free ticket to a Phoenix Coyotes game.

• Can the Raptors’ Chris Bosh beat the rap of being a deadbeat dad?

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Raptors’ Bosh Accused Of Being A Deadbeat Dad

From what I can remember, Chris Bosh’s career in the NBA has been a mostly positive one. Since joining the league in 2003 after being taken fourth overall by the Toronto Raptors in the NBA Draft, he’s been able to play well on the court while staying out of trouble off of it. Usually the only time we see him mentioned in non-basketball stories is when he’s recording YouTube videos to campaign for the All-Star game. Well, now Bosh probably regrets that video.

It was at that All Star Game in New Orleans in which Bosh may have gotten himself into a bit of trouble. According to documents filed in court on Monday, Bosh got Allison Mathis pregnant after buying her fertility drugs, then when she was seven months pregnant, Bosh allegedly dropped her like a bad habit. Now she’s suing him for what he owes.

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Chipper Jones Taking a Beating for Toronto Hate

Chipper Jones indeed made a very unkind statement about Toronto borne from his brief visit during the WBC: “I don’t know if you ever stayed in Toronto, but it’s not exactly Las Vegas. To say that we were plucking our eyebrows out one at a time would be an understatement.”  We’ve established that Mr. Jones will not be joining the State Department post-baseball.

Chipper Jones

(Yes, Chipper; Toronto is “up”. This seems like overkill, though.)

However, Toronto has lost its collective mind over Chipper’s comments. DEADSPIN noted the local blog outrage, but we all pay attention to this guy on a regular basis. The Toronto papers have leaped into the fray as well, mocking his Southern manner in questionable “humor” pieces and penning lazy editorials demanding Chipper never come back to Toronto. (Apparently, they get Wikipedia in Canada.)

Even Chris Bosh had to defend Toronto and he probably won’t be there in a year. Toronto media, you wouldn’t get your undies in an uproar if you knew who you were dealing with.

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Speed Read: Devin Harris Miracle Shot Sinks 76ers

You know who had a good night on Monday? Devin Harris of the New Jersey Nets. Not only did he score 39 points, but he sunk a game-winning half court shot as time expired to lift his team to a 98-96 victory over the Philadelphia 76ers on Monday night. The entire play was about as nutty as you can get in the NBA, with Harris having his initial shot blocked before recovering to sink the game-winning basket a fraction of a second before time expired.

Devin Harris

As BLACK SPORTS ONLINE points out, Harris’ shot raised a whole host of questions: was he fouled in the act of shooting; did he travel after recovering the initial blocked shot; and did he really get the shot off before time expired.  Take a look for yourself and be the judge (and please pay attention to Violet Palmer, who emphatically waved off the shot, probably because she’s an awful referee):

As for the 76ers: as THE 700 LEVEL points out, this loss was a microcosm of their season: for the sixth time, they lost a game they were leading with ten seconds to go. So the next time you complain about a close game your team lost, keep in mind that it could be worse - you could be a 76ers fan.

If Devin Harris had a good night on Monday, then the New York Knicks’ Nate Robinson continued his great month of February. Not only did he win the NBA Slam Dunk title by (literally) leaping over Dwight Howard, but he’s been a beast on the court as well. Besides blocking Chris Bosh, Robinson has been on a scoring tear. His 41 points against the Pacers marked the fourth time in the last six game he’s scored 30 points or more, helping lead the way to a 123-119 victory.

Nate Robinson

Meanwhile, not having such a great day or month is Marvin Harrison. It’s hard to imagine the possibly second-greatest wide receiver in NFL history playing for another team than the Indianapolis Colts, but that’s the real possibility after the INDIANAPOLIS STAR reports that Harrison is all but certain to be cut by the team, barring a last-ditch effort by team owner Robert Irsay. Then again, if Jerry Rice can play for the Seahawks…

After Jerry Rice, who is the second-best receiver in NFL history?

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Speed Read: T-Mac Reportedly Out For Season

Last February, the Houston Rockets were crippled - literally - by the season-ending foot injury to center Yao Ming. In what must feel like Groundhog’s Day for the team, this February is also bringing bad news for the team: their other All-Star anchor, Tracy McGrady, told ESPN.COM’s Stephen A. Smith that he needs microfracture surgery on his injured left knee and is done for the season.

Tracy McGrady

Keep mind that this is coming from the mouth of Smith, so take it with a grain of salt (right, Chris Bosh?), and the Rockets aren’t confirming the report. But they sure aren’t denying it either, and with Rockets owner Leslie Alexander telling the HOUSTON CHRONICLE to expect official news on McGrady later this week, it looks highly likely that T-Mac is going on the shelf for a long time.

Tracy McGrady

Alexander also told the paper that McGrady is a “superstar” and that the team has no plans to trade him. Which is probably code for “we really wanted to trade him, but now that he’s damaged goods we’re stuck with him.” How much his absence will impact the Rockets is unclear - he’s either been ineffective or out of the line-up for most of the season to begin with, but losing him can’t help.

The only thing injured on Alex Rodriguez right now is his reputation, which is doing about as well as Jack from Jack in the Box. His press conference at Yankee spring training didn’t help much - I would recommend not using the phrase “I’m here to take my medicine” again any time soon - and might have got his unnamed cousin in trouble.

Alex Rodriguez

Rodriguez claims that his cousin brought something called “boli” from the Dominican Republic, which the USA TODAY says usually refers to the steroids Dianabol or Deca-Durabolin. And now a DEA agent is ominously warning that “those who violate drug laws are always at risk of arrest and prosecution.” We don’t know who this cousin is yet - although BIG LEAGUE STEW has a list of candidates - but I’m guessing we’ll find out soon enough.

In related news, the AP reports that the MLBPA has sent a memo to its players informing them how to respond to questions about the 2003 drug testing. Their recommendation: don’t respond. The memo also goes into detail about little details like why the tests weren’t destroyed, and how the union did not give advance knowledge of tests of players.

Finally, fans who tuned into the Kentucky/Vanderbilt game last night expecting fireworks had to be greatly disappointed. Not in the game itself, but in the lack of a halftime interview between ESPN sideline reporter Jeannine Edwards and the man she spurned, Wildcats head coach Billy Gillispie.

ESPN reporter Jeannine Edwards

Alas, no luck last night. As the TENNESSEAN notes, with the game tied at halftime Edwards chose to interview Vanderbilt coach Kevin Stallings instead of Gillispie, telling the paper “I cut my losses.” This is, of course, the entirely wrong approach, and there should have been a producer in Edwards’ ear demanding she interview Gillispie. Not having her interview Gillispie would be like if Chuck Wepner replaced Muhammad Ali at the last minute for “The Rumble in the Jungle” - totally unacceptable.

What was the most painful/awesome interview in sports TV history?

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SB XLIII Porn Video Found; Comcast Offers Rebate

• For those of you Tucson TV viewers who had their Super Bowl interrupted by a schlong, Comcast would like to pay you $10 for your troubles.

Larry Fitzgerald Super Bowl porn girl

(The young lady on the right was smiling about seeing something just as long as Larry Fitzgerald’s go-ahead TD reception)

Kobe Bryant helps the Lakers knock off the Knicks with an MSG-record 61 point performance.

• Marquette basketball coach Buzz Williams feels stung by an innocent media question.

Manny Ramirez says no thanks to the Dodgers’ $25 million offer.

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