Why, you ask, would we be scared out of our shivvies by the wife of an NFL lineman? Well, maybe because Tanya Seymour, Pro Bowler Richard Seymour’s high school sweetheart and mother of his four children, was just charged with lynching … in South Carolina. Did we mention she’s African American? That’s got to take something, right? To be African American and charged with lynching in South Carolina?

(Wait, this is Richard Seymour’s wife? Really?)

The details of Mrs. Seymour’s attack come from WLTX TV in  South Carolina, which claims that the assault came at a New Year’s Eve party. And while Seymour is charged with lynching, she didn’t actually try to string someone up. Rather, she just beat the woman senseles, sending a flurry of punches to her body and face. Lee Higgins, the Police Beat Reporter at THE STATE, the Columbia, S.C. daily, has the more in-depth take here.

One victim suffered a “busted lip and contusions under her right eye and to her finger,” according to an affidavit. The other “sustained a bruise to her left arm, scratches to her face and a sprained right wrist,” according to another affidavit. That victim also had a sore scalp from one attacker pulling her hair, it says.

Owwwww. And why would Mrs. Seymour launch such a heinous sneak attack on a fellow South Carolinian? Well, this may come as a shock (it shouldn’t), but old Richard was supposedly sleeping with the victim.

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The New York Mets look like they’re on the verge of another late season collapse, as they’ve lost their lead in the NL East and currently trail the Philadelphia Phillies by a half game. Still, you’ll have to forgive Mets shortstop Jose Reyes if he seems a bit distracted during the season’s closing weeks, because he may be trying to save his marriage.

Photos recently surfaced on THE DIRTY from the MySpace page of a model named Bentley Matthews, and they don’t make it look like the friendship between the married Reyes and Matthews is the platonic type. Though, despite the mountains of evidence to the contrary, Matthews claims there’s nothing going on between her and Jose.

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The BUFFALO NEWS said that the University of Buffalo men’s basketball team suspended leading scorer Andy Robinson for the first three games of the regular season after he admitted to taking out a Facebook ad offering to pay someone to write a paper for him. So I guess we shouldn’t be looking for him on the all-MAC academic team this year?

Although he might not be the strongest writer, let it be known that Robinson understands the value of bargaining. The ad said he would pay between $30 to $40 for a three-page paper on the book “There Are No Children Here” but he was willing to “pay even more money if you have to read the book a little more.” Robinson seems a little unclear on what “reading a book” means - you either have or haven’t read it. Somewhere, O.G. Readmore weeps between bites of Tender Vittles.

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