Michael Jordan Shills Steaks, Gives 1/2 Off to Kerr

Do you want to get at the premium meat of the best basketball player of all time? Do you think it will never happen because you’re not a comely co-ed visiting a casino or a vacation island? Fear not; the MJ Marketing Machine provides for all segments of the population.  PEREZ HILTON reports you can get the choicest cut of all from Michael Jordan’s latest dilution of his brand: Michael Jordan Steaks.

Michael Jordan and Derek Jeter

(”No, Derek; I won’t let my meat get rotten. Why do you ask?”)

To compare, J.A. Adande reminisced about Jordan’s true retirement yesterday at ESPN.com. Eight hundred journalists descended on the United Center (The House that Jordan Built) to witness his retirement as the passing of an era; Adande kept mementos of the occasion to treasure forever.

Exactly ten years later, we hear about Jordan’s new frozen steak business and the Web site crashes because Perez Hilton links to it, not because we’d been salivating for it for months.
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Charles Barkley Bent On Boxing Away His Blubber

Former basketball player and current TNT analyst Charles Barkley has never been the model of fitness, but back in his playing days it didn’t matter much. Charles could eat whatever he wanted, and as long as he was running up and down a court, he could stay in relatively decent (and by “decent”, I mean “gelatinous”) shape. Of course, now that Charles is retired, he isn’t getting as much exercise.

Charles Barkley takes up boxing

Apparently sitting behind the desk in the TNT studios or at the nearest blackjack table doesn’t do much to help take the weight off - and as a result, Charles has been packing away the pounds. It’s not something Sir Charles is pleased with, and after stepping on a scale & seeing he’d ballooned up to 330 pounds, he decided he needed to do something about it.

So considering that the only thing Barkley enjoys more than basketball, gambling, and eating is fighting, it’s pretty obvious what avenue he’d choose to lose weight. He sure as hell isn’t going on a diet, so instead he’s decided to step into the ring.

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Blog Jam: Charles Oakley - No Shirt, No Problem!

• Move over, Jeff Reed & Vince Young - DEADSPIN finds another shirtless stud that likes to party with his top off: NBA old-timer Charles Oakley.

Charles Oakley partying shirtless

• The WINSTON SALEM (NC) JOURNAL tries to take the sting out of Kobe Bryant’s so-called shunning of the Charlotte Hornets.

• THE BIZ OF BASEBALL hungers at the news that the new Yankee Stadium will include a Hard Rock Cafe.

• MERRY ATHEIST wants to keep the deity off the diamond, as they don’t believe “God Bless America” should be sung at ballparks anymore.

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Ricky Williams Hitting High & Hard On Poor ‘Joe’

Another season of Spike TV’s “Pros vs. Joes” has been thrust upon us. And what better way to celebrate than to run somebody over:

(Check out the hit at :19)

That’s the one & only Ricky Williams, who seems to have recovered nicely from his chest injury. Hopefully, Rick helped the pummeled Joe to some of his medical mary jane aftewards.

And guess who else was showing off their mad skillz for the Spike crowd?

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Ex-NBA Star Oakley Cooks Up Fun With TV Pilot

Stella Foster of the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES cooks up some fun with Charles Oakley, former NBA star and aspiring chef:

Charles Oakley beefaroni

The ex-Bull & ex-Knick smiled and sautéed for the cameras, as he recently shot a pilot for a cooking show.

Oakley is apparently quite the culinary king. For one Chicago-area dinner party, Oakley served up his secret-recipe chicken wings, cheeseburger sliders, blackened cod, meatloaf and peach cobbler.

Charles Oakley mugshot

That would explain last weekend’s jaunt in Georgia - too many sips of the cooking sherry.