After hearing countless sports figures giving pat, meaningless answers to every question they are asked, fans love people who give honest answers. Which is one big reason why Charles Barkley has remained popular as he transitioned from loudmouth player to opinionated analyst. It’s like he’s an early convert to Radical Honesty, or that it would physically pain him to reign himself in when answering any question.

But that same honesty can also make for some spectacularly uncomfortable moments, like during an interview yesterday with Howard Eskin on WIP-AM in Philadelphia (available on their Web site). During the interview, Barkley was asked his recent DUI arrest and conviction, and he responded that it was a “great thing” for him because he had learned some valuable lessons. Then the fun started:

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The ARIZONA REPUBLIC reports today that Charles Barkley pleaded guilty in a Scottsdale court to his New Year’s Eve DUI charge. He was popped that night for being over twice the legal limit - and subsequently provided us all with some additional entertainment.

(NBA commentator or villain in Tim Burton’s next animated feature?)

After the plea, a judge fined the TNT commentator $2,000 and sentenced him to 10 days in jail. That’s right, TEN.

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It’s been a very good week for Charles Barkley. In the past three days, he’s gotten his TNT gig back and was confirmed as the subject of an upcoming golf-based reality show. Despite that news, we still haven’t heard from Barkley on the record since his embarrassing DUI episode in Phoenix last month, until today.

(None of it is true! That is, except the DUI and oral sex part)

Barkley guested on Dan Le Batard’s WAXY-AM show this afternoon, and disputed some of the previously reported details of his arrest. Also updated was his current policy on public consumption of adult libations.

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Good news for fans of the best studio show in televised sports: Charles Barkley will be returning to the set of “Inside the NBA” soon. The man with a thousand vices was placed on an indefinite leave in early January after a DUI arrest on December 31. You probably remember that quite well. As for when we can expect Barkley back, well… soon. Kinda soon.

(And by April, it’ll be okay for Kenny and Ernie to make fun of this.)

Turner Sports president David Levy told the SPORTS BUSINESS JOURNAL that a final decision on the date of Barkley’s return wouldn’t come until after the All-Star break (article is subscription only, sorry kids) , which is in about two weeks. Levy said the decision would be made on a “gut feel,” and this is where you start running through the “fat guy” jokes in your brain.

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Via Rick @ DEADSPIN, Howie Long’s kid, Kyle Long, was popped for DUI Sunday morning. Long was cited for driving the wrong way down a one way street and failing a field test.

(For once, Chuck lost a lottery OUTSIDE a casino)

Long also recently left FSU, where he was a top pitching prospect. He remains a prospect though and will no doubt eventually land in pro (uh, he’s 6-11 and throws 90+).

Another day, another athlete’s DUI. You would think that high profile sports figures would learn. (FYI, Scottsdale police confirmed today Charles Barkley was twice over the legal limit when he was cited New Year’s Eve.)

Yeah, we all saw and heard those DUI-deterrent PSAs during the holidays: “YOU WILL GO TO JAIL.” So with all that government-sponsored advertising, and other athletes constantly getting caught and ostracized, why do the DUIs from sports celebs keep coming?

I think I have a pretty good idea.

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The SMOKING GUN scares up the police report from Charles Barkley’s already widely-reported DUI arrest last night in Phoenix.

Following his arrest earlier today for drunk driving, Charles Barkley told Arizona cops that he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up a girl who had “given him a ‘blow job’ one week earlier,” which the former NBA star described as “the best one he had ever had in his life.”

Barkley also told a law enforcement official that he’d “tattoo your name on my ass” if the person could help him get the DUI charge dropped.

The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS has even more hilariously embarrassing details from Barkley’s evening - before he was popped at the Maricopa County checkpoint.

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For the last 22 years, the East Valley DUI Task Force in and around Phoenix, AZ, has been setting up “… saturation patrols from a different East Valley location each night (warning: PDF). Officers will conduct traffic stops after observing indications of possible impairment or traffic violations. Drivers found to be impaired by alcohol or drugs will be arrested and transported to the command post for case processing.”

We apologize to Charles Barkley for not posting this news yesterday, as Barkley was pulled over by Gilbert police in Old Town Scottsdale (where all the toniest bars reside) on suspicion of DUI around 1:30 am this morning after blowing a stop sign.  However, we thought he already knew that since he worked there from 1992-1996. Barkley declined a breath test and was given a blood test by the East Valley DUI Task Force instead before taking a cab home.

(Full photo essay at TMZ.com)

And our above-the-fold message to you: do the same tonight.  To quote the coordinator of the task force from earlier this month, “The fines only go up with repeat offenders.  It only costs $15 to take a cab from Old Town Scottsdale to Tempe. Which is cheaper?”  We know you didn’t gamble it all away, Charles, but there’s different ways to pay.

This incident occurred just a few weeks after Danica Patrick found herself explaining her 54-in-a-35 to officers in Scottsdale.  So if you’re not paying attention: the cops are out tonight.  They will gleefully drag your intoxicated and/or leadfooted posterior to an RV to be jabbed with a needle, fined mercilessly, and then eventually jailed.
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