CFB Update #1: Big 10 Team Finally Falters on FG

Last weekend, the Big Ten managed to escape a couple of embarrassing close calls, as Ohio State needed a 2-point conversion interception to get past Navy, while Iowa needed to block two field goal attempts in the final seconds to defeat Northern Iowa.

Dan LeFevour Michigan State

And wouldn’t you know it, some of the Big Ten’s big boys had their hands full against lesser competition again this weekend. Michigan State was expected to take care of in-state MAC foe Central Michigan without much problem. But the Chippewas had other ideas.

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Wild Week In Review: Sex, Swimsuits & Steroids

• Congratulations to Bar Refaeli for making the cover of this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

Bar Refaeli Jeanene Fox

• And we already have a suggestion for next year’s cover girl - Rick Fox’s foxy sister Jeanene.

• But will we soon see full nudity in the sports mag’s annual edition? That could be a reason why the Laker Girls turned down a chance to pose for a SI photoshoot.

• We expected to A-Rod to come out sooner or later, but little did we know it would be about past steroid use. And who spilled the beans first? An alleged SI stalker? His ex-wife? No wonder he needed an escape to the Bahamas with two hottie companions.

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Rick Fox’s Foxy Sister; Big Ben Fibs About Ribs?

• We’re glad to have discovered Rick Fox’s ultra-foxy sister, Jeanene.

Jeanene Fox

• Could brave Ben Roethlisberger be telling a fib about his broken ribs?

• An ex-girlfriend is suing Roberto Alomar for $15 million, claiming that the slugger gave her AIDS.

Brett Favre says he’s retiring. This is not a repeat from 2008.

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College Hoops Girl Dismissed For Being Straight?

Shocking news out of Central Michigan, where a new lawsuit insinuates some kind of link between women’s basketball and lesbianism! This heretofore unknown phenomenon has baffled fans and experts alike, as most expressed disbelief that women’s basketball could be about anything other than the erotic grace and beauty of the female form.

(Pic semi-related)

The real news is that former CMU player Brooke Heike is suing coach Sue Guevara for kicking her off the team for being too feminine, and complaining when Guevara insisted on showering with the team post-game. Actually, only that first part is true.

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Speed Read: Ball State Still Perfect, Still Screwed

It’s official: Ball State is the real deal. At least, as real as a win against a team called the Chippewas can make a team, but still: going on the road to take out a tough opponent like Central Michigan is tough. But the Cardinals pulled it off, winning 31-24 behind 177 yards rushing from Quale Lewis, keeping them perfect at 11-0 and keeping them on track for…the Motor City Bowl.

Ball State after defeating Central Michigan

Because no matter if the Cardinals win out, they aren’t getting an automatic BCS berth ahead of Utah, Boise State and BYU. And even if, say, Boise State loses a game, and USC wins the PAC-10 outright, freeing up another at-large spot, the choice for a BCS bowl would likely come down to a non-BCS school or Ohio State, and guess who wins that battle? (Unless the Buckeyes get upset by Michigan this weekend. Please stop laughing now.)

So yeah, another reason to hate Ohio State - not only did they ruin the last two BCS Title games, but now they are ruining things for Ball State. I know that Hawaii totally tanked last year against Georgia, but come on - wouldn’t you rather see Ball State in the Sugar Bowl against, say, Alabama than Ohio State?

Speaking of Cardinals…just as Arizona fans were starting to enjoy their team’s prosperity and start thinking about home playoff games, here comes a giant mess down the I-10. In this case, the ARIZONA REPUBLIC reports that it’s disgruntled running back Edgerrin James, who apparently wants to be released but the team won’t let him go. His agent Drew Rosenhaus maintains that he won’t be a distraction.

Edgerrin James

Since this is Drew Rosenhaus saying this, let me translate for you, Cardinals fans: this is going to be a massive, season-crushing distraction. Glad I could help. I still don’t know what team would be interested in a running back who is an old, beat-up 30 but plays about 40. Unless the Detroit Lions are in the market.

Finally, let’s transition from the unethical oiliness of Drew Rosenhaus (when a character based on you is so loathsome and unlikable that they need Jay Mohr to play you, that’s not a good mark on your character) to someone on the moral high ground: golfer J.P. Hayes. You might have heard that he DQed himself from PGA Tour Qualifying School after realizing that he had accidentally used a prototype ball during a round.

That’s pretty impressive moral fiber - it’s better than how I felt when I found someone’s wallet and resisted the urge to use their Shell gas card to by smokes even though I was broke and totally need some.

ESPN.COM’s Jason Sobel speculates that Hayes’ good sportsmanship could bring some good karma, as tournament sponsors will likely be lining up to offer the two-time Tour winner exemptions into their tournaments.

Other sports miscellanea from overnight:

  • KTRK-TV passes along word that those Texas cheerleaders who are accused of using feces to haze the JV squad have been indicted and are facing trial. Looks like something’s really hit the fan for them.
  • Morton Ranch High School cheerleaders

  • Top Rank boxing promoter Todd duBoef rips the ending to the Randy Couture vs. Brock Lesnar UFC Heavyweight Title fight, telling the LOS ANGELES TIMES that it looked “nothing more than a tough man contest” and that there is “no way it’s safer than boxing.” UFC President Dana White responds by telling the MMA EXPERTS BLOG that Top Rank chief Bob Arum is “95 years old and senile.” Let’s give this round to White, 10-8.
  • How does Mike Mussina plan on celebrating his first-ever 20-win season? Ken Rosenthal of FOX says he’ll do so by retiring.
  • Want tickets to the big Utah vs. BYU game? How about coughing up $1,600 each, asks the DESERET NEWS? I guess when you don’t drink, your have to spend the beer money somewhere.
  • The HOUSTON CHRONICLE says that Donald Driver’s father is in critical condition, two days after he was allegedly beaten by cops arresting him on outstanding traffic warrants. A family spokesman says one of the cops may have gone to school with the Packers’ WR and held a grudge.
  • The U.S. breezes past Guatemala 2-0 to finish up the semifinal round of World Cup qualifying. But as GOAL.COM notes, the big story is that Freddy Adu (is he really still only 19?) scored his first goal for the National Team during the match on a rather impressive free kick:
  • Toronto probably aren’t getting the Bills any time soon - in fact, FOOD COURT LUNCH thinks the NFL is going to London before Toronto. So they’ve provided their Canadian brethren with a handy British lingo guide.
  • What do you have in common with the NFL? You both probably want 49ers coordinator Mike Martz to shut up: CBS SPORTSLINE says he was fined $20,000 by the league for whining about a “quick spot” of the ball on the team’s final play against the Cardinals a few weeks ago.
  • The CHARLESTON CITY PAPER notes that four Charleston Southern football players are charged with allegedly robbing a couple at gunpoint for a whopping $35.
  • The TENNESSEAN reports that eight players from a Knoxville high school football team were arrested in a shoplifting ring that involved $9,000 in stolen merchandise, putting their status for their playoff game this week in doubt. Do you think?

Which rivalry game are you most interested in watching this week?

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