Being a backup quarterback for a small-market NFL team is somewhat of a thankless job, albeit a thankless job that pays millions of dollars. You practice just as hard as your more talented counterparts, but the only time you get in a game is when the outcome is already decided or someone better than you gets injured. Nobody really cares what brand of hot dogs you prefer, shoes you wear, or who you’re dating. There’s a reason they call it “buried” on the depth chart.

(Mark Sanchez, beware - this could be your future!)

For Arizona Cardinals backup QB Matt Leinart, who signed $5 million worth of endorsement deals back in the days when people thought he might be good at football, that presents a problem. The former Next Big Thing is stuck in Phoenix carrying 75-year-old Kurt Warner’s jock, and it seems he’s finally realized that the way to get back in the spotlight is to toughen up and stop being a “pretty boy”. His new training regimen? Getting his ass kicked by mixed martial arts fighters.

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We couldn’t have been more excited to see that Terrell Owens has cranked up the Q rating on his Official Celebrity Football Camp (only $195!), inviting Michael Irvin and Adam “Pacman” Jones to speak to the kids. (”Kids, always check for an Adam’s apple. Oh, and rain is a privilege and not a right. Thank you.”)

(”… and, in conclusion, screw the Redskins. Now let’s sing the campfire song, “(I Was Just) Holdin’ It for a Friend”…)

We were also thrilled to hear sprinter Maurice Greene would be there because he always brings us gifts from Mexico. Also, he’s dating one of the “Deal or No Deal” models. Maybe she visits; maybe not. It’s worth a chance. We’ve got our “special” birth certificate and our credit card out; sign us up.

(By the way, is it possible for the camp motto to be “Now your parents have 195 fewer reasons to live”? We vote for that one.)

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