Man Robs Bank To Buy Phils Gear As Rome Burns
It’s day two of the Siege of Philadelphia, and though most phone lines to the beleaguered city are down, we are receiving scattered reports of unthinkable horrors being perpetrated. Like one man who decided not to loot a store directly, like most normal people, but to rob a bank and spend it on Phillies gear.
(This man was one of the most law-abiding citizens last night).
From the DAILY NEWS comes the tale of this Rhodes Scholar who allegedly held up a bank, then drove to a Modell’s Sporting Goods store and was arrested leaving the store with armfuls of Phillies merchandise.
The saddest part about this isn’t that the store was on the same street as the bank, or that he dumped the stolen cash in a trash bin after buying what he wanted. The saddest part is that he made his transactions yesterday morning, long before any World Series gear was on sale. Enjoy that NL Championship shirt, dumbass. Maybe you can trade it for a couple of smokes at Eastern State Penitentiary. (Full report from the war zone, after the jump)
