It’s getting to the point where Tony Parker is famous for just being Tony Parker. Oh, not in America, mind you; here, he’s little more than just another point guard, albeit a pretty good one. No, France is where Parker really shines, being a native and all. There, he and Eva Longoria are famous enough that their mere presence, their existence, is a big deal. Did you know he’s a rapper there? Did you know he sucks at it? Did you know that it doesn’t matter to France that he sucks?
(He’s such a big deal that he just puts the name of the country on his shirt and they go wild. This has got to stop.)
So now that Parker can do basically whatever he wants and get even more popular as a result, the logical endgame is a medium that requires neither talent nor makeup: children’s television! It’s about a bunch of kids in America, and you’ll just never guess what sport they and Tony are playing.
• AOL FANHOUSE congratulates Jeff Garcia’s better half for being named sexiest athlete’s wife of 2007:
• DC SPORTS BOG knows nothing keeps a team together like insulting each other.
• And when the Redskins aren’t talking smack, MY BRAIN SAYS RAGE notes they’re talking to ghosts.
• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY discovers this cartoonish comment on Florida’s effort in the Capital One Bowl:
• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT compares the NFL playoff teams to various beers.
• SMARTER finds Terrell Owens trying to trademark “I Love Me Some Me.”
• 100% INJURY RATE wonders when did Amare Stoudamire join the army:
• Chris Bosh wants your vote for the NBA All-Star Game.
• The BOSTON GLOBE learns that Reese Witherspoon is a Red Sox fan.
YOUR JUICIEST MITCHELL REPORT NEWSPAPER CARTOONS:
ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER’s Lisa Benson:
The PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER’s Tony Auth:
The LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS’ Patrick O’Connor:
LEINART UNINVITED TO THE KURT’S “GOOD SPORT’S GANG”: AZ SPORTS HUB has a trailer for a Christian cartoon that features Kurt Warner:
The animated featured cooks up something called the “Good Sports Gang”, which we’re pretty sure won’t be including Warner teammates Matt Leinart or Larry Fitzgerald anytime soon.
Warner sadly has no love interest on the program, but here’s hoping a gender-neutral volleyball will soon be added to the show’s cast, so we can then watch the sparks fly!