8:00 PM CSN Baltimore has video of Marcus Smith, a U.S. soldier who dressed as a minor league umpire to surprise his children at a Bowie Baysox game with a home visit from Afghanistan.
7:45 PM A Japanese Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was swept out to sea during last year's tsunami washed up on a shore in British Columbia last month. The bike's owner asked that the motorcycle be displayed at the Harley-Davidson Museum in Milwaukee as a memorial to the tsunami victims.
7:30 PM Buffalo Bills receiver David Clowneytweeted the results of his HIV test which came back negative. And to the critics of his decision to share his results, Clowney added: "Some people are Ridiculously stupid ... And can't see the bigger picture about things that are important in this world."
Do you remember Deidra Lane? It has been awhile since she was in the headlines, so maybe you need a refresher course. Lane is the woman who, back in 2000, murdered her husband, Carolina Panthers running back Fred Lane, in their home.
While Lane said at the time that she killed her husband in self defense as he had become abusive to her, Fred Lane’s attorneys said she did it in hopes of cashing in on a $5 million life insurance policy after she found out he was going to leave her. We can’t be sure who was telling the truth, but Deidra did plead guilty to voluntary manslaughter in 2003 and has been in prison ever since. Well, at least until this morning.
One of the perks of being a season ticket holder for any professional sports team is that you get first dibs on buying playoff tickets if the team makes the postseason. Of course, with ticket prices forever rising and the economy getting worse it’s not exactly surprising that some fans are choosing to pass on paying for playoff tickets these days. If you were a Carolina Panthers fan, for instance, you may have decided to save yourself some cash and just watch the team’s playoff game against the Arizona Cardinals at home.
You were probably pretty happy you did too, after seeing the Cardinals destroy your team 33-13 thanks to Jake Delhomme’s five interceptions. Not only did you save yourself some dough, but you also kept yourself out of prison by not rushing onto the field to strangle Delhomme. Of course, then you go to the mail box to get the day’s mail and hey, guess what? You’ve got a letter from the Carolina Panthers. They probably want to thank you for supporting them this season! That or they want you to pay them for the right to remain a PSL holder.
Everyone and their mother puts a little money down on the Super Bowl. From absurd prop bets like the length of the National Anthem to casual pools at the office, you don’t need to be a degenerate to let money decide your rooting interest. It’s like a gambling bandwagon.
But that can turn veteran degenerate gamblers off. People who don’t know what they’re doing, moving the line in unexpected ways. It can be infuriating. But never fear: there are still ways to put that second mortgage to good use. While betting on Super Bowl 43 is passé, how about betting on Super Bowl 44?
The Patriots are the clear favorites to win the 2010 Super Bowl at 8-1, at least according to the offshore odds, which are just as good as Vegas but with better tax laws. But there are some more curious frontrunners. Those, and a look at last year’s odds (i.e. how much you could have made off the Cardinals), after the jump.
The best part about this headline, in truth, is that it’s not even the first time we’ve been able to connect Eddy Curry with a preposterous legal suit in the past month. Remember this? Still, as bad as a two-year-old Big & Tall clothing bill is, this takes the cake: According to this story in the NEW YORK POST, the oft-injured and always overpaid Knicks center is accused of trying to solicit gay sex from his chauffeur, whom he also made touch his penis, clean up towels he had ejaculated into and whom he called a, “f**king Jew”, “white slave”, “white devil”, and “grandmaster of the KKK”. Oh, and when the driver complained, Curry pointed a loaded gun at him and threatened to kill him if he spoke.
(Nothing is coming up Eddy anymore. That’s for sure.)
Yes, folks, that’s about as good a story lede as you can get. Just imagine the eyes on the reporter who tripped across this court filing. “Oh, look, a Knicks benchwarmer is getting sued. Hmm, wait a minute! Gay sex! Racial epithets! He makes $9 million!! Someone get me the executive editor!”
For your reading pleasure, here are the best lines from the suit, carefully culled by the POST:
The stunning court papers claim Curry, a married father of three, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky“in the nude,” allegedly telling him, “Look at me, Dave, look” and “Come and touch it, Dave.”
In a disturbing episode reminiscent of some of the evidence in the manslaughter case against former Nets star Jayson Williams, Kuchinsky further claims in his suit that Curry pointed a “fully loaded” gun at him on at least two separate occasions to keep him from complaining about his treatment. “Look, I have one in the chamber,” Curry allegedly said.
Exactly how many of the allegations Curry fulfilled is up for debate, but — as with the Duke rape case — at the very least he was doing things that weren’t advisable. Note to self: Don’t call any future butlers grandmaster of the KKK”. Oh, and don’t make them butlers if you’ve only hired them to drive you around.
However, what might be the most astonishing thing about the suit, is just how little David Kuchinsky, the driver in question, is asking for. The POST claims that he wants $98,000 — $68,000 in unpaid wages and another $25,000+ in unpaid expenses from Curry — and “compensatory damages” from the center. Look, we’re not genuises here, but $98,000 is chump change for a guy whose been making $9 million a year. Sure, it’s good money, but if you’re Curry, don’t you just settle that suit as fast as humanly possible? You whipped it out on the guy repeatedly and made him clean up your masturbatory mess, and all he wants is a measly $100G? Seems cheap at the price, if you ask us.
“Instead of paying him, they discriminated against him, figuring that it would keep him there,” said Kuchinsky’s lawyer, Matthew Blit. “Imagine going into your boss’s office … and he stands up and drops his pants and he asks you take care of him. Those actions are unacceptable whether it’s in a corporate office or a private home.”
It’s worth noting that Kuchinsky does have a checkered past — he served a three-year prison sentence for a 1992 burglary in New Jersey — and that Curry’s lawyer, Kelly Saindon, says that the suit is the culmination of a series of blackmailing threats from the former chauffeur.
Still, if any of these allegations are admitted to or proven true in a court of law, it will solidify one thing: Curry is the human equivalent of canine feces. Yes, we’re calling him dog crap. He can take his 2:38 of game action this entire season and shove it. Or maybe Kuchinsky can do that for him. He might like that.
There was more NBA news, but alas, it was much less inflammatory, degrading or insulting. Still, it was pretty entertaining. Following a second-straight win over Toronto, snapping the team’s previous elongated losing skid in the process, Celtics center Kevin Garnett felt comfortable enough to loosen up in a postgame presser and go Christopher Reeve on everyone. Here’s the video:
Is it just us, or does Paul Pierce always seem like KG’s red-headed step-cousin in the interview room? Garnett steals the stage even when he’s trying to deflect praise, all of which makes the dual-mic pressers even more awkward, and more entertaining in the process.
Also, if you haven’t seen him play yet this year, now might be a good time to check out Oklahoma’s Blake Griffin. Here’s a lowdown of what he does well: Everything inside the three-point line. Here’s what he does poorly: select earphones. Did anyone see the earbuds he was using during a pre-game shootaround before Monday night’s win over rival Texas, a victory which snapped a six-game Oklahoma hoops losing streak against the Longhorns? They were either A) really old iPod earbuds or B) ripoffs of iPod earbuds. We couldn’t see “COBY” on them, but they had all the tell-tale signs. What, he can’t afford any Bose or Sony in-ear headphones? And what about the Nike ‘phones that are allegedly “designed for athletics”. Nike sponsors OU and they won’t comp a future top-10 pick a pair of headphones?
(Hmmm. Blake Griffin. Think he’s from Quahog, R.I.?)
You know all those horrible chick flicks they put out with a hot actress — say, Kate Hudson — who is torn between two perfectly affable potential lovers and friends? Well, in this one, the two guys are played by PGA stud Adam Scott on Alex Rodriguez. Oh, and it’s actually happening.
Remember the old codger of a Hall of Fame voter in Tuscon who openly forgot to vote for Rickey Henderson? Well, ol’ Corky Simpson is taking out his frustration on the interwebs. We’d give you his home address and email if we had it … so come back soon. We should have it by lunch (gotta love the interwebs, even if Corky doesn’t).
There is no way Ed Rendell will ever win another election in Pennsylvania; he just simultaneously jinxed both the Steelers and Eagles with one, ferociously stupid blow.
Rendell might get off easy if it’s really snowy in Pittsburgh and the Ravens slog out a gross game. That’s more than you can say for the Spanish soccer fans in the video below.
There have been plenty of self-assured hurrahs about the Colts’ new coach after Tony Dungy’s retirement, with Jim Caldwell lauded as the perfect replacement waiting in the wings. Well, did anyone think to check out his record at his last stop? SHUTDOWN CORNER did. Guess what: It isn’t pretty.
Speaking of the Colts, if things keep going down this path, Dungy might not be the only constant Indianapolis face leaving town. Marvin Harrison might be gone, too.
Sports superstitions are strange things. Wade Boggs needed his chicken before every game. Pedro Cerrano only learned in the end he didn’t need Jobu’s help. The Eagles’ playoff beards make them all look like they’re homeless and/or registered sex offenders. My New York Rangers Stanley Cup hat has spooky powers. But these are all fairly unobtrusive methods.
One Charlotte-area woman has the least practical ritual since Raymond Babbitt had to watch “The People’s Court”: in order for the Panthers to win, she needs to watch the game bottomless. I know where I’ll be Saturday night, because somewhere in this grand country of ours, someone will be watching football without their pants, and it’s not a fat hairy dude in his boxers.
After last week’s less-than-epic Houston vs. Jacksonville Monday Night Football tilt, just about anything would have been an improvement (short of a “dream pairing” of Dennis Miller and Tony Kornheiser). But last night was a great way to cap any week: two 9-3 teams in Tampa Bay and Carolina battling for first place in the NFC South.
And honestly, if you would have told me that Jeff Garcia was going to throw for more than 300 yards, I would have given the Bucs a pretty fair shot at winning the game. But the trump card turned out to be the Panthers’ RB duo of Smash & Dash, i.e. DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, who helped the Panthers combine for almost 300 yards of rushing and a crucial 38-23 victory.
The person on Tampa Bay I feel sorry for is Antonio Bryant, who had a huge game in defeat, as in 200 yards of receiving. (How many fantasy football owners are cursing themselves this morning because they left him on their bench this week.) This included one of the most amazing touchdown catches you’ll see all year:
Speaking of amazing…USA TODAY has a breakdown of the final ballots for the college football Coaches’ Poll, and some of the votes are pretty unbelievable. Like that Utah’s Kyle Whittingham voted his team ahead of USC (I’d like to see that game on the field), or that Ty Willingham voted Missouri 11th despite getting killed in the Big XII Championship Game. But my favorite? Texas Tech’s Mike Leach voting the Red Raiders second - ahead of Florida and Texas. At least he had the decency to place the team that beat him by 44 ahead of Tech.
Some more sports insanity to brighten up your day:
Things just keep getting worse for Petty Enterprises: WTVD-TV says that the legendary NASCAR organization has laid off 39 employees while awaiting a merger or acquisition to save them. Meanwhile, a disgruntled Kyle Petty tells NASCAR.COM that he’s been shown the door and is no longer with the organization.
CC Sabathia in Dodger Blue? MLB.COM reports that the free-agent hurler ran into GM Ned Coletti at the lobby of Bellagio during Winter Meetings and told him he wants to pitch in LA next season.
You think you have pressure in your job? Try being Wil Collins, who needed to sink a 18-foot par putt to earn his PGA Tour card on the final hole of Q-School. ESPN.COM tells you if he made it or not.
Then again, Collins could have it worse: he could have been playing for the Detroit Lions since 2001. Which is why center Dominic Raiola isn’t sorry for giving the finger to heckling Lions fans during last week’s loss to the Vikings. In fact, he tells the AP that he’d give them his home address if they’d only fight fair.
Could this be the end of the season for Tedy Bruschi? The BOSTON HERALD says that the Patriots’ linebacker is going to be placed on the Injured Reserve after banging up his knee on Sunday against the Seahawks.
So Kevin McHale has to clean up the mess he made as GM of the Timberwolves now that he’s the coach. ON THE BALL wants Minnesota fans to cheer up: this was actually a demotion.
The ARGUS LEADER says that Vinnie Jones, the former bad boy English soccer player turned actor (he played Juggernaut in X-Men: The Last Stand) is claiming self-defense in a bar brawl during a pheasant hunting trip in South Dakota. You can watch the security camera footage and judge for yourself. (Hint: he’s not the 300 lb. guy getting pummeled.)
I’ve often heard that the NFL is a “copycat” league. In other words, if one team does something and it works, every other team in the league is going to try and do it too. Apparently the latest hot new trend spreading across the league is that of team’s suspending their best wide receivers for being insubordinate little punks.
First the Carolina Panthers suspended Steve Smith for two games after he broke Ken Lucas‘ nose in a fight, and despite not having their top receiver, the Panthers started the season 2-0. Now the defending champion New York Giants have followed suit, and they’re suspending Plaxico Burress as well.
Actress Rosario Dawson has had a pretty impressive career. She hasn’t won any Academy Awards or anything, but ever since she first showed up on the big screen and captured our heart in the feelgood comedy of 1995, Kids, she’s had steady work.
Of course, I had no idea that she had become so tired of the acting world that she’d decided to give it up entirely to pursue her other dream. That dream? Why playing tight end for the Carolina Panthers, of course!
