Hockey Night in Canada commentator and all-around fashion plate Don Cherry (pictured below dressed as The Riddler) will soon be the subject of a two-part movie written by his son, Tim, THE TORONTO STAR reports.

“We’re trying to find out if Brad Pitt can play the leading role,” jokes the movie’s protagonist. “Maybe George Clooney could play me in the later years.”

Nice try, but it’s Richard Attenborough all the way for you, Cherry.

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LAFLEUR HELPS SON SCORE WITH 16YO WHILE OUT ON BAIL While Andy Reid gets roasted for the behavior of his two felonious sons, hockey legend Guy Lafleur is getting similar (and justifiable) treatment north of the border.

The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports Lafleur’s “23-year-old son faces more than 20 criminal charges, including sexually assaulting a minor, armed assault, uttering threats, and forcible confinement between 2004 and 2007.“Lafleur recently petitioned the court to allow his son, who has been living at halfway houses, to live with him full-time until the trial is over (it doesn’t start until May!). But his request was denied because the local authorities found out Lafleur was allowing his 23-year-old son to hook up with a 16-year-old in motel rooms whenever a visit by the court was allowed. Lafleur “has since admitted that he drove his son to hotels to spend the night with his girlfriend.”

As a noted purveyor of disco and one of Canada’s leading experts on Erectile Dysfunction, is it any wonder that his happened?

• We mentioned earlier how Brady Quinn had to don a USC jersey after losing a bet. Now, IRISH TROJAN IN TENNESSEE has video proof of the QB’s cringing clothing change:

• Coloradoans take note: RIVALFISH cowboys up to present their top 10 reasons to hate Red Sox fans.• Ray Ratto of CBS SPORTSLINE has no comment, as the media can corner athletes into “Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t.”

• THE MONEY SHOT bangs their heads, as they compare NBA teams to ‘80s hair metal bands:

• THE EXTRAPOLATER asks the NCAA to repeat that, as they don’t understand the whole Division 1-A/Football Bowl Subdivision double-talk.• AWFUL ANNOUNCING packs their bags for the Great White North, as MLB viewers in Canada are Buck & McCarver free.

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS is in good hands, as Tony Romo takes out a $30 million insurance policy on himself:

• WTAE reports that former Pitt ESPN radio announcer John Duffy has plead guilty to child porn charges.• OFF WING OPINION counts to 10, as they’re annoyed by interruptions from ESPN SportsCenter’s 30 in 30.

• The GONZAGA BULLETIN bulldogs Rick Reilly for selling his soul to the Satan in Bristol:

• The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE learns it’s student against teacher in Corvallis, as Stanford’s Jim Harbaugh faces Oregon State and his old pro coach Mike Riley.• SPORTS REVIEW MAGAZINE gets a tip that Bill Callahan will be bought out by Nebraska at the end of the season.

• DEADSPIN discovers where all the pre-printed apparel of championship losers ends up:

Bet the youngsters in Senegal can’t wait for their 2007 Colorado Rockies World Series shirts to show up!• RUMORS AND RANTS knows USC QB Mark Sanchez is feeling the heat, but it’s nothing compared to what his dad is facing in battling SoCal wildfires.

• INFO WORLD warns of Microsoft having to deal with their own “Kobe Bryant” moment.

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY crosses paths with one horny Florida football fan:

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT takes off to see how some ex-NFL hopefuls are doing in the Great White North, eh?• While tracking down the whereabouts of ex-West Virginia star Kevin Pittsnogle, 100% INJURY RATE finds a French player that just has to make it to the NBA - Steeve Ho You Fat.

• OUR BOOK OF SCRAP watches their head, as GoDaddy Girl and WWE wrestler Candice Michelle takes a nasty spill off the top turnbuckle.

Don’t forget to check out the numerous replays!• JERRY’S WHEELHOUSE joins the revolution, as Versus can possibly be the rebel yell against the ESPN sports dictatorship.

• Maybe Pete Carroll’s right about the Irish turf: THE BLUE-GRAY SKY jumps at news of a Army paratrooper hurting his foot while landing at Notre Dame Stadium on Saturday.

• South Florida just can’t get any respect, as MORE CREDIBLE discovers ESPN mistaking the Bulls’ logo with rival Central Florida’s:

• YAY SPORTS! NBA is ready for battle, as Gilbert Arenas recruits for war - paintball war!• SHAKEDOWN SPORTS learns a lesson from Maryland QB Josh Portis, who’s telling elementary schoolchildren not to cheat.

• AOL FANHOUSE congratulates U of Kentucky fan fatale Ashley Judd for finally getting her college degree:

• THE FEED rats out who’s gone to visit Tank Johnson while he passes time in the pokey. Yes: Most Bears teammates, coaches and Jesse Jackson; No: Johnson’s fiancee and also-looking-to-make-a-break-for-it Lance Briggs.• As he plots his latest comeback for the thousandth time, SPORTS COLUMN tracks down Rickey Henderson snagging some balls…away from other kids in the stands.

• THE BATTLE OF CALIFORNIA informs us how dance contestant Willa Ford met Dallas Star star Mike Modano, and how she feels about her fiance’s current employer:

• Hoping to recover from the loss of arena football, JOE SPORTS FAN reveals NBC’s new sports savior: Tiki Barbaro.• Hot on the heels of NASCAR, THE SPORTS PICKLE bets on a winner at the Preakness with the “Horses of Tomorrow”.

• SPORTS GONE SOUTH (sponsored by Goody’s Headache Powder) adds up (sponsored by Texas Instruments) Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s (sponsored by Junior Mints) heavy price to pay (sponsored by First Federal Savings) for leaving his dad’s company (sponsored by Dad’s Root Beer).

• HOCKEY NATION breaks the ice with Ottawa’s Game 1 victory over Buffalo in the NHL Eastern Conference finals. And since a Canadian team is involved, here’s the required version francais.

• Speaking of our neighbours to the north, THE SMITTBLOG examines