8:00 PM CSN Baltimore has video of Marcus Smith, a U.S. soldier who dressed as a minor league umpire to surprise his children at a Bowie Baysox game with a home visit from Afghanistan.
7:45 PM A Japanese Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was swept out to sea during last year's tsunami washed up on a shore in British Columbia last month. The bike's owner asked that the motorcycle be displayed at the Harley-Davidson Museum in Milwaukee as a memorial to the tsunami victims.
7:30 PM Buffalo Bills receiver David Clowneytweeted the results of his HIV test which came back negative. And to the critics of his decision to share his results, Clowney added: "Some people are Ridiculously stupid ... And can't see the bigger picture about things that are important in this world."
Getting a DUI and then hiding it from your football coach is universally a terrible idea; it’s not like when the coach finds out, he admires your ingenuity and gives you a helmet sticker. But quick - name the worst I-A school at which to pull such a stunt. If you guessed Baylor, good guess but no. The answer is BYU, because BYU has Mormons, and Mormons are like vampires who feed on your ability to enjoy worldly pleasures. Also, they sleep in coffins.
(This only looks like a criminal mugshot. Well, aside from the jersey he’s wearing.)
Unfortunately, BYU LB Shiloah Te’o didn’t get that memo, and an August DUI arrest has come back to - metaphorically, we assure you - bite him. Proving the old “the coverup’s always worse than the crime” maxim true once again, head coach Bronco Mendenhall has made Te’o an ex-Cougar.
And now a quick recap of your late college football contests:
Hope you enjoyed your stay in the Top 10, BYU. Just as Oregon had earlier busted Utah’s chances of a BCS-busting season, the Cougars saw their dreams of a big BCS payday go up in smoke in a 54-28 massacre at the hands of the Florida State Seminoles. Hard to believe this was the same FSU team that was losing 9-7 to 1-AA Jacksonville State with only two minutes to go last week.
Dennis Hopper’s warnings from those admittedly awesome Nike commercials were an apt metaphor for the perils of Week 1 in college football. In this case, while Georgia and Virginia Tech couldn’t overcome tough opponents in hostile territory, Oklahoma was the real loser of the weekend.
(”Coach said to rub some dirt on it. Wait… we don’t have dirt; this is field turf! MEDIIIIIIC!”)
But first, about the Georgia loss: With the score 17-10 OSU in the third quarter, Zac Robinson led Justin Blackmon on a crossing route over the middle. The pass sailed and bounced off the receiver’s hands, at which point Blackmon was immediately met with a violent hit from safety Reshad Jones. Flags fly, unnecessary roughness call, 1st down for the Cowboys.
Except… that was, by all accounts, a legal hit. Jones had begun his move before the ball bounced off the receiver’s hands. His technique was legal: he didn’t lead with the helmet, just a high shoulder. But since he hit Blackman so hard and there’s the emphasis on caling unnecessary roughness, three flags fell at his feet. Even Matt Millen was apoplectic. After all… what the hell was Jones supposed to do? Not play defense? If Blackmon makes that catch and Jones lets up, Jones probably loses his starting role for bitching out and being afraid of contact. It was an idiotic call and a bad precedent for the rest of college football. Video is after the break.
You have to give Mike D’Antoni credit for trying something innovative, even if it didn’t work out. For the second straight game, the New York Knicks rolled out their “Box and Zero” defense, which essentially challenges the other team’s best player to beat them by refusing to cover him under any circumstances. But just like against Kobe Bryant and the Lakers on Monday night, somehow it didn’t work out against the Cavaliers either.
Actually, I’m not sure what defense D’Antoni had his team running the last two games, but “none” comes to mind: a game after giving up 61 points to Bryant, the Knicks did the impossible: made another superstar have an even more incredible performance, as LeBron Jamesscored 52 points in the Cavaliers’ 107-102 victory and became the first NBA player since Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in 1975 to score 50+ points as part of a triple-double.
James also joined Michael Jordan as the only players to have multiple 50 points games in the new Madison Square Garden. Any time you’re mentioned in the same breath as Kareem and Jordan, you are doing something right. And did I mention that this was the tail end of a back-to-back? And that the Cavaliers were without three of their players due to injury and illness?
And in case you’re wondering, it doesn’t get any easier for the Knicks. Their next opponent to come into the Garden? The Boston Celtics on Friday night. I can’t imagine what Kevin Garnett could possibly do to upstage Kobe and LeBron - perhaps pick Nate Robinson up and slam him through the basket while clutching the ball?
Raiders running back Justin Fargas wasn’t breaking any records last night, unless it was “Stupidest Appearance in a Hip-Hop Video.” Because if you are an NFL player, and you know the league is on the warpath about its image and substance abuse, I would think that appearing in a video with someone called “Yukman” as he smokes a blunt that would make Cheech & Chong quiver in their tie-dyes isn’t such a great idea.
But PRO FOOTBALL TALK says that’s exactly what Fargas did. And honestly, are we shocked by this? Not that an NFL player would be so brazen about assoicating with potheads, but that it would be Fargas. I mean, his dad was Huggy Bear, for crying out loud. Just look at his dad:
Being shocked that his son is involved with marijuana is like being shocked that one of Bob Marley’s kids has a taste for the ganja. The video is up at WORLD STAR HIP HOP: go grab some Fritos and see it yourself.
While you pick the seeds out of your buds, here’s some more sports wackness from last night:
What’s the perfect gift for your teammates after you’ve won the Super Bowl? If you’re Hines Ward, PITTSBURGH SPORTS AND MINI PONIES says it’s a specially-embroidered Crown Royal Cask No. 16.
It’s bad for a college football program when when of your four-star linebacker recruits gets busted for a DUI. But when that school is BYU? Yikes. COUGAR BLUE has the story of Kyle Van Noy, who won’t be playing for the Cougars next year.
The WICHITA EAGLE wants you to look at the swinging watch and read the story of the high school basketball coach who turned to hypnotism to break his team’s slump and the school board that didn’t like it. Also, please send them a check for $500 dollars. And cluck like a chicken whenever you hear the word “beans.”
That sound you heard was Dick Vitale openly weeping for the Duke basketball team, as the Blue Devils dropped a close 74-47 game to Clemson. The WINSTON SALEM-JOURNAL picks up the pieces from the wreckage.
A bizarre story from the TELEGRAPH: a man finds an iPod belonging to a Manchester City soccer player, and tries to charge him thousands of dollars to get it back. But police say there is no “sensitive material” on the iPod. Really?
At first glance, this Saturday’s Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl doesn’t appear to be particularly compelling. Yes, BYU had a fine season (even if they weren’t the BCS Busters we thought they were), and Arizona’s ability to finally put together a winning campaign to save Mike Stoops’ job was an interesting story. But it’s hardly Must See TV (especially since the two teams played each other in 2007 and 2006).
But the LAS VEGAS SUN has all the reason you’ll need to tune in from the start: David Hasselhoff is set to sing the National Anthem. That’s right: It’s “The Hoff Meets The Mormons.” Sounds like a great/awful reality show on VH1.
John Canzano of the PORTLAND OREGONIAN is a couple years ahead of what will happen to the current Pac-10 conference. With dinosaur Tom Hansen about to finally step down as league commissioner, expect the conference to soon expand to 12 teams while adding a championship football game.
(Hasn’t she heard of who’s President now?)
Hansen has long been a proponent of the BCS and resistant to expansion, and claims that the league’s school presidents echo his outlook - and that there will be no future additions to the Pac-10’s membership.
And that would make him dead wrong in a couple years. Read more…
It’s official: Ball State is the real deal. At least, as real as a win against a team called the Chippewas can make a team, but still: going on the road to take out a tough opponent like Central Michigan is tough. But the Cardinals pulled it off, winning 31-24 behind 177 yards rushing from Quale Lewis, keeping them perfect at 11-0 and keeping them on track for…the Motor City Bowl.
Because no matter if the Cardinals win out, they aren’t getting an automatic BCS berth ahead of Utah, Boise State and BYU. And even if, say, Boise State loses a game, and USC wins the PAC-10 outright, freeing up another at-large spot, the choice for a BCS bowl would likely come down to a non-BCS school or Ohio State, and guess who wins that battle? (Unless the Buckeyes get upset by Michigan this weekend. Please stop laughing now.)
So yeah, another reason to hate Ohio State - not only did they ruin the last two BCS Title games, but now they are ruining things for Ball State. I know that Hawaii totally tanked last year against Georgia, but come on - wouldn’t you rather see Ball State in the Sugar Bowl against, say, Alabama than Ohio State?
Speaking of Cardinals…just as Arizona fans were starting to enjoy their team’s prosperity and start thinking about home playoff games, here comes a giant mess down the I-10. In this case, the ARIZONA REPUBLIC reports that it’s disgruntled running back Edgerrin James, who apparently wants to be released but the team won’t let him go. His agent Drew Rosenhaus maintains that he won’t be a distraction.
Since this is Drew Rosenhaus saying this, let me translate for you, Cardinals fans: this is going to be a massive, season-crushing distraction. Glad I could help. I still don’t know what team would be interested in a running back who is an old, beat-up 30 but plays about 40. Unless the Detroit Lions are in the market.
Finally, let’s transition from the unethical oiliness of Drew Rosenhaus (when a character based on you is so loathsome and unlikable that they need Jay Mohr to play you, that’s not a good mark on your character) to someone on the moral high ground: golfer J.P. Hayes. You might have heard that he DQed himself from PGA Tour Qualifying School after realizing that he had accidentally used a prototype ball during a round.
That’s pretty impressive moral fiber - it’s better than how I felt when I found someone’s wallet and resisted the urge to use their Shell gas card to by smokes even though I was broke and totally need some.
KTRK-TV passes along word that those Texas cheerleaders who are accused of using feces to haze the JV squad have been indicted and are facing trial. Looks like something’s really hit the fan for them.
Top Rank boxing promoter Todd duBoefrips the ending to the Randy Couture vs. Brock Lesnar UFC Heavyweight Title fight, telling the LOS ANGELES TIMES that it looked “nothing more than a tough man contest” and that there is “no way it’s safer than boxing.” UFC President Dana White responds by telling the MMA EXPERTS BLOG that Top Rank chief Bob Arum is “95 years old and senile.” Let’s give this round to White, 10-8.
How does Mike Mussina plan on celebrating his first-ever 20-win season? Ken Rosenthal of FOX says he’ll do so by retiring.
Want tickets to the big Utah vs. BYU game? How about coughing up $1,600 each, asks the DESERET NEWS? I guess when you don’t drink, your have to spend the beer money somewhere.
The U.S. breezes past Guatemala 2-0 to finish up the semifinal round of World Cup qualifying. But as GOAL.COM notes, the big story is that Freddy Adu (is he really still only 19?) scored his first goal for the National Team during the match on a rather impressive free kick:
Toronto probably aren’t getting the Bills any time soon - in fact, FOOD COURT LUNCH thinks the NFL is going to London before Toronto. So they’ve provided their Canadian brethren with a handy British lingo guide.
What do you have in common with the NFL? You both probably want 49ers coordinator Mike Martz to shut up: CBS SPORTSLINE says he was fined $20,000 by the league for whining about a “quick spot” of the ball on the team’s final play against the Cardinals a few weeks ago.
The CHARLESTON CITY PAPER notes that four Charleston Southern football players are charged with allegedly robbing a couple at gunpoint for a whopping $35.
The TENNESSEAN reports that eight players from a Knoxville high school football team were arrested in a shoplifting ring that involved $9,000 in stolen merchandise, putting their status for their playoff game this week in doubt. Do you think?
Jim McMahon guested on Dan Patrick’s radio show today to talk about McMahon’s father’s recently-failed bid to get the former Bears QB into the BYU Sports Hall of Fame. Astonishly, McMahon has never been inducted, and BYU states that he will not be allowed in until he graduates. But McMahon had a whole ‘nother story for Patrick on the subject.
First, McMahon intimated that the reason he hasn’t been honored by the school was because he never converted to Mormonism. When it came to religion, he said that BYU football representatives lied to him repeatedly during his recruitment.
McMahon: “They mentioned the rules, this is what goes on here. If you don’t want to be part of the lifestyle there, that’s no problem. They’re (BYU officials) not going to bother you. That was a lie they bothered you pretty much every day. … The religion part.”
Patrick: “Did they want you to convert (to Mormonism)?”
McMahon: “I’m sure they did. But that was never in doubt, I was never going to do that.” Read more…
How ironic is it that the giant nail in the coffin of John McCain’s Presidential hopes last night came when the networks declared Ohio for Barack Obama. After all, McCain appeared to run his campaign like Jim Tressel cluelessly bumbling his way through coaching Ohio State to another BCS Title Game meltdown. In this analogy, Obama really was LSU or Florida: faster, hungrier and ready to deliver a hellacious beatdown.
(Does this make Sarah Palin the Maurice Clarett of the ticket - initially exciting but eventually a total disaster? I’ll leave that up to you to decide.)
But while the Maverick of the Senate might have suffered an historic thumping on Tuesday night, the Mavericks of Dallas were taking a venerable but aging institution out to the woodshed, beating the Spurs 98-81 to drop San Antonio to 0-3 for the first time in the team’s NBA history. They can’t possibly be missing Manu Ginobli this much, could they?
And what about Matt Lindland, the MMA fighter who was the Republician candidate for a State House seat? Unfortunately for him, he was about as competitive as Kimbo Slice, as he fell to a double digit defeat at the hands of his Democratic opponent. I would have said that having a campaign manager named Tootie Smith was a bad sign, but then again…Scooter Libby.
On to the other, slightly less significant news:
Don’t tase him, bro! The TRI-CITY HERALD says that an Arena Football player was zapped by airport security after busting through a window at the terminal and getting on the tarmac trying to get to his flight. That’s called dedication.
The CHICAGO TRIBUNE breaks down the news that Illinois WR Jeff Cumberlandis going to play this week despite breaking teammate Mikel LeShoure’s jaw in a fight last Saturday night.
Do they have any decent sushi places in Atlanta? The ATLANTA JOURNAL CONSTITUTION notes that the Braves have made an offer to 22-year-old Japanese pitching phenom Junichi Tazawa.
How far has the Tennesee football program fallen? The WINSTON SALEM JOURAL says that David Cutcliffe would rather stay at Duke than consider taking the Vols’ head coaching job.
The MOSCOW-PULLMAN DAILY NEWS reports that three Idaho football players have been suspended after being charged with battery after a fight at a house party this weekend. What do you expect from the players when you call the team the “Vandals?”
According to the LOS ANGELES TIMES, Oaks Christian High School - the school that has the sons of Joe Montana, Wayne Gretzky and Will Smith - might be in trouble for advertising its athletic department on local TV. The ads were OK, but still better than Hancock.
BYU quarterback Max Hall tells the SALT LAKE TRIBUNE that he’ll be missing Thursday night’s huge Mountain West Conference game between Utah and TCU because he can’t miss The Office. And I thought Dwight Schrute was Amish and not Mormon.
