Back in May, we reported that Bruce Smith had earned his third DUI arrest in 12 years. We use the term “earn” loosely; he wasn’t dragging mailboxes and chain-link fences behind his car or enjoying a boozeaccino for the road or anything. But 73 in a 55? That, sir, was a large mistake.

(Even retired and in police custody, I feel like he’s going to drop me for a loss if I pick up a football.)

You’ll also recall that Smith refused a Breathalyzer test on the scene, which isn’t much of a good idea. Ah, but it was part of a larger plan, you see. With that, Smith had an “out”: his unsteadiness on one foot was just a matter of poor knee health from his long NFL career! And the bleary eyes? That’s just the concussions talking. Surely a reasonable judge would agree, yes?

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Note to athletes in Virginia: Do not drink and drive for six consecutive years. If you do, you’ll get caught at least once. Just take Bruce Smith: After getting nailed in both 1997 and 2003, Smith was caught behind his wheel drunk as a skunk again on Thursday in Virginia Beach.

(We got the strong Smith mug shot from the boys over at TBL)

Not only was Smith driving under the influence, he was speeding like a bandit, too. There’s no way that he’ll get out of the speeding ticket, and his refusal to take a breathalyzer or a DUI test means that he’s tacitly admitting guilt to DUI, unless his attorney has a really good card up his sleeve.

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There’s a reason Dan Snyder’s worth a trillion dollars: He’s willing to try anything if there’s a chance he’ll earn a few bucks. Sure, there have been plenty of misses: Deion Sanders, Bruce Smith, Marty Schottenheimer, Norv Turner, Steve Spurrier, Brandon Lloyd, Adam Archuleta, Six Flags, Cruise/Wagner Productions … well, you get the idea.

But Danny’s latest venture is a can’t-miss in much the same way that hiring a basement-dwelling blogger for Redskins.com just screams mainstream innovation: See-through shirts for the uninhibited fan.

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