No matter what Bruce Pearl does in his coaching career, to me he’s always going to be the guy who, as an administrative assistant to Tom Davis at Boston College, once wore the Eagles mascot costume during a game. That says all you need to know about Brucie — he’ll don any persona, no matter how unusual or degrading, in order to get ahead.

That includes Catskills insult comic, apparently. Appearing at a TVA charity fundraiser on Thursday morning, the Tennessee men’s basketball coach made a comment so inappropriate that it set off the auditorium’s automatic sprinkler system. At least that’s what I heard. Bruce, Bruce, Bruce. When will you learn? (Answer unclear). Read more…

• Detroit Pistons rookie DaJuan Summers places a Twitter bet with porn star Valerie Luxe: Whoever gets 4,000 followers first wins either dinner & a massage, or a trip to the water park.

• Meanwhile, ESPN’s Mark Schlereth gets into a Twitter war with Chad Ochocinco.

• But neither guy would want to mess with J.R. Smith, especially if the Nuggets player is Tweeting like he’s a member of the Bloods.

• Roger Mayweather - Floyd Jr.’s uncle & trainer - is accused of attacking & trying to strangle a female boxer.

• Browns WR Braylon Edwards poses with a bunch of alcohol. So all those drops were due to the D.T.’s?

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Two years ago, it was pretty good to be Ramar Smith. He was an all-SEC freshman who helped lead Tennessee to the Sweet 16, averaging nearly 11 points per game for the season. But then it all went wrong. Smith’s role diminished as a sophomore, then he was kicked off the team following the season for violating a variety of rules, including the school’s substance-abuse policy.

So, did Smith get past whatever problems cost him his college career? Well, it’s looking like the answer is a pretty resounding “no.” Smith was arrested early on Thursday for his participation in a home invasion on Monday. Seems that he and another man went to an apartment to buy some pot, and decided it would be a good idea to steal some guns and cash (and, oh yeah, the drugs too). Apparently, Smith’s attempts to break back into basketball in Poland and Germany weren’t working out too well.

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• It’s not often your wife poses with four muscular naked black men - but such as it is in the madcap marriage of Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen.

• Ricky Hatton, thanks to Jennifer Dooley, may have survived okay from Manny Pacquiao’s pummeling - but three Filipino fans didn’t.

• Tennessee b-ball coach Bruce Pearl is Volunteering for married life again, as he announces his engagement to blonde beauty Brandy Miller.

• Jessica Simpson admits that whenever Tony Romo takes the field, she texts everyone she knows to pray for him.

• Carrie Prejean, Miss California 2009 & recent pal of Michael Phelps, gets her panties in a bunch over a revealing pic revealed from her younger days.

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• Bruce Pearl has Volunteered his heart for marriage once again, as the UT coach announces his engagement to the quite tasty Brandy Miller.

• Jessica Simpson gets so worried when Tony Romo is on the field that she texts everyone to pray for his protection.

• Sorry, folks, tonight’s Yankees game has been called on account of rain. Oh, it hasn’t? Well, too bad - you’re still not getting back in.

• The Green Bay Packers warned us about this sinister swine flu epidemic - over 30 years ago!

• Regis Philblin is almost murdered by a menacing throw from the Marlins’ Hanley Ramirez.

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Ever since splitting from his wife of 25 years, Bruce Pearl has been looking for a new love. And now the Tennessee Volunteers men’s basketball coach appears to have found one.

During a UT promo tour known as the Big Orange Caravan, Pearl announced that he’s engaged. So who’s the lucky woman that Bruce is ready to tie the knot with in Knoxville?

Is it Pat Summitt? I knew it! Actually, no - Bruce is really betrothed to the lovely lady on the right. (More pics & info after the jump.)

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• Bear down, Chicago fans - Jay Cutler is coming to town! (Bye, Kyle.)

There’s no looking back on not wanting to be traded, Jay.

• UFC president Dana White sure knows how to deal with the press.

• San Francisco’s daily newspaper makes big cuts in its sports staff.

• Gary Carter just wants to be back in the Mets family again.

• This is some kind of Utah Jazz fan - if we only knew what kind.

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Lost in all the hoopla and hullabaloo of John Calipari heading to Kentucky is the status of Coach Cal’s previous program in Memphis. Not only have the Tigers lost a head coach, they’re also likely losing an entire coaching staff and a couple of quality players.

So now it’s UM’s turn to seek out a new court general. And the Conference USA champs have there eyes set on someone already in state: Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl. And when it comes to pursuing Pearl, Memphis isn’t talking peanuts - they’ve presented the Vols coach a deal worth up to $21 million.

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You might remember during the Rose Bowl, when stud USC linebacker Rey Maualuga discreetly busted a move behind ESPN’s Erin Andrews. To most people, it was a harmless bit of fun that only added to his legend among Trojan fans and gave him folk hero status among the Internet crowd.

But now the LOS ANGELES TIMES is reporting that USC is has issued a statement that Maualuga has apologized to Andrews for his dance moves and “deeply regrets his actions.” And I’m sure he regrets his actions just as much as the USC athletic department told him that he should.

To refresh your memory, video of the heinous dance attack is after the jump:

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• Why tune in to the Las Vegas Bowl this Saturday? I got six words for ya: David Hasselhoff sings the national anthem.

Any chance to elect Gary Coleman as Grand Marshal of the Las Vegas Bowl parade?

• Stephon Marbury shows up courtside for the Knicks-Lakers game, after all - not on the bench, but in some pricey seats.

• Brian Giles is slapped with a $10 million domestic abuse lawsuit. Is it true? Let’s go to the videotape.

• Tony Dorsett’s nephew can score you some coke stronger than anything Mean Joe Greene tosses.

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