When we last heard from Ozzie Guillen, he was sporting some threads from Chicago Cubs fans, that legendary bastion of maturity. And by that, of course, we mean a shirt that says “Ozzie Guillen Mows Wrigley Field.” Sure, it was based off of a different racist shirt perpetrated against Cub Carlos Zambrano, but this would be a prime example of that whole “two wrongs” thing.

(What could be wrong with this? It’s just innocuous fun for racists everyone.)

Anyway, to Ozzie’s credit, he was able to laugh it all off. We all figured that was because he was above all the racism stuff, but could we have been wrong? Could it be that Guillen’s not only racist, but he hates everybody who isn’t black?

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Imagine you’re a small-time actor who wants to make a mob movie. You’ve written a script, you’ve borrowed a camera, you’ve got moxie out the wazoo. All you need now is money and actors, and you’re well on your way to an Academy Award. Where to go from there?

(Crappy pitcher, crappy musician, soon-to-be crappy movie producer)

If you’re actor William Demeo, you turn to the group of people with the best combination of money, delusions of grandeur, and free time - that’s right, professional athletes. Demeo’s making a mob movie called “The Sixth Family”, and apparently it’s going to star half of Major League Baseball.

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