For athletes awash in money and in the twilight of their careers, opening a steakhouse is a rather conventional way to start earning money outside the sport. This is usually a good thing; if you’re ever in Chicago and have about $200 to blow, for example, take a friend to Iron Mike’s Steakhouse and admire the loose connection the restaurant has with Mike Ditka and football while you eat one of the best steaks of your life.

(”Overcooked and served with Dominican rice, which turns out to be water-logged grains studded with bland black beans and corn kernels, unripe chunks of pineapple and mango, and pieces of asparagus stalks.” MMMMMM!)

But the food has to be good, otherwise it’s a big fat FAIL. Hey, speaking of big fat failure, David Ortiz! Big Papi opened up his own steakhouse - “Papi’s Grille” - in Boston recently, and the BOSTON GLOBE sent a food critic to try it. Considering the food put in front of her, said critic is lucky to be alive.

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Because no battle is ever won, he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools. - William Faulker, “The Sound and the Fury”

That was written by Mississippi’s “greatest author,” who I also thought was kind of overrated. Which, it turns out, could easily apply on multiple levels to the Ole Miss football team. On a national stage and with a No. 4 ranking, the Rebels completely imploded, falling 16-10 at South Carolina last night. It may or may not be true that no battle is ever won, but for Ole Miss, this one was certainly lost.

Mainly it was lost for two reasons: QB Jevan Snead had a miserable game, going 7 for 21 for 107 yards while being pressured by the Gamecocks’ defense all night. And Houston Nutt’s game plan reminded you of why he was barely a .500 coach with a backfield of Felix Jones and Darren McFadden at Arkansas. Nutt seemed unable to accept that the passing game just wasn’t working, and waited until the fourth quarter to turn to running back Dexter McLuster. He ran for 68 yards in the final quarter, but by then it was too little, too late. Read more…

It’s not often that injury news takes us completely aback, but that’s absolutely the case over in Pullman tonight. One slightly mentioned aspect of last weekend’s game pitting Washington State against Southern Methodist was WSU’s tailback, James Montgomery, suffering an apparent knee injury. Not that those aren’t serious, but, y’know… they happen.

But one thing that doesn’t usually happen is a potentially fatal injury that nobody recognizes immediately. That’s what apparently befell Montgomery during the game; after the game, he reported increasing discomfort with the knee, and went in for surgery on Sunday morning. It probably saved his life.

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• Rock Chalk Jayh…POW! Fights break out between football and basketball players for the University of Kansas - and some claim that a couple of n-bombs were dropped.

• An Iowa inmate gets let out of jail for the day so he can go see the Red Sox play the Royals in person.

• Two Costa Rican paparazzi are suing Tom Brady for being shot at during his wedding to Gisele. Brady’s reaction? “I go no reaction to that one.”

• Flummoxed by your fantasy football failings? ESPN is offering to help the old-fashioned way - with a toll-free phone number.

• When it comes to NCAA sanctions, the BCS schools often get lighter sentences than their non-BCS brethren.

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 If you’ve been sentenced to 10 days in jail, there are probably only two places in the country where you might be released for a day in order to watch a baseball game. One of course would be Mayberry, N.C., where they keep the key to the cells within arm’s reach of the prisoners (see photo below). The other, as it turns out, is Keosauqua, Iowa.

Meet Randy Aaron Barker, who is serving a 10-day sentence in the Van Buren County Jail for interference with official acts and violation of a protective order (hey, we’ve all been there). But he really, really wanted to attend the Red Sox-Royals game in Kansas City on Monday, and like Sheriff Andy Taylor, the judge saw no problem with that. Just be sure to be back in your cell by 8 a.m. Tuesday morning, Randy. Read more…

• Novak Djokovic delights the Monday night US Open crowd with his manic impression of John McEnroe - only to have Mac come down & reclaim his honor in an impromptu tennis match.

• A Kansas community is burned by the cold-hearted hazing of a high school football player slathered in Icy Hot.

• Kentucky fans are fuming at John Calipari because their coach dared send a Wildcats jersey to President Obama.

• A whole lotta football kicked off this weekend - even the lingerie variety.

• Ex-Notre Dame QB Blair Kiel is arrested after going on a drunken warpath at an Indianapolis Indians minor league game.

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When Red Sox owner John Henry, 59, married 30-year-old Linda Pizzuti in July, it seemed like your standard old-rich-guy-lands-hot-young-wife situation. No, it wasn’t exactly a Anna Nicole Smith situation but let’s be honest - if Henry weren’t made of cash, he probably wouldn’t have landed a hot young wife. We should all be so lucky…and so rich.

Red Sox fans might have gotten a bit of a kick out of their team’s owner landing a hottie, but they were probably unprepared for what’s happening to the happy couple now. Not content to just lavish his bride with gifts and his undying love, Henry has now installed her as the team’s vice president for planning and development. Rachel Phelps thinks it’s a questionable move.

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It never worked for Wile E. Coyote, so why did an employee of the Tampa Bay Rays think that some fake ACME explosives would propel his team back into the AL East race? Meet William L. Jordan, 38, a mechanic at Tropicana Field who apparently saw the film “The Hurt Locker” one too many times, and thought it would be funny to plant a fake bomb at the stadium for a game with the Boston Red Sox.

Placed in a cabinet near one of the gates, the device was box-like, with wires and blinking lights — very MacGyverish. Police and team officials, however, did not get the joke, and Jordan was arrested. Read more…

For a lot of us, tonight is like Christmas, your birthday and finding your Dad’s stash of Swank Magazines when you were 12 all rolled into one: college football starts tonight. And unlike most opening week mismatches, tonight’s marquee match-up should be a doozy, with Pac-10 dark horse Oregon braving possible blindness from the Smurf Turf and the color-coordinated fans to America’s underdog, the Boise State Broncos (current listed as a 3.5-point favorite).

But this isn’t just a compelling game between two Top 25 teams with big aspirations. No, these two teams (in my best Jim Ross drawl) Just Plain Don’t Like Each Other, especially after last season’s win by Boise State that featured two Broncos getting ejected and Oregon QB Jeremiah Masoli getting KOed by a cheap shot while attempting his first pass of the game. Here’s some video if you want to judge for yourself:

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Ask not what your country can do for you, Curt Schilling says. Ask what you can do for your country. And that something is to Vote For Schilling, if you live in Massachusetts, that is. Our Curt has expressed interest in running for the seat held for 40 years by the late Sen. Ted Kennedy.

Yes when I think of the Kennedy legacy, the photo above immediately comes to mind. In fact, make that puppy giant-size and slap it on a few billboards around the state, and Schilling could be the first person ever to get zero votes. Sorry to ruin this thing before it gets started, Curt.

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