Despite the fracturing of our nation due to the recent venomous spew from both presidential candidates, one thing we can all get together and agree on is that whoever wins, Vladimir Putin can kick their ass. At least, that was the common belief before Putin made the greatest mistake in political history by revealing his secret hand-to-hand combat techniques by releasing an instructional DVD on judo.

THE DAILY MAIL has the scoop. The DVD, hilariously entitled “Let’s Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin”, is the work of a collaboration between Putin, who is a 56-year-old black belt, and former Olympic judo champion Yasuhiro Yamashita. No word yet if the DVD includes a cameo by Putin’s 24-year-old gymnastic mistress.

Ass-kicking and risque rendezvous with young women? Putin is basically just Jack Nicholson, isn’t he?

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YELTSIN WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR RUSSIAN TENNIS HOTTIES: Former Russian President Boris Yeltsin passed away this week. He’s of course the man given credit for somehow keeping the country while the Soviet Union collapsed.

The MOSCOW TIMES provides a different perspective on the man who was often known as the “Russian Bear” and admired for his prodigious *thirst*: “Yevgeny Kafelnikov, Marat Safin and Maria Sharapova brought Russia tennis glory, but it was keen player and avid fan Boris Yeltsin who helped make the sport popular nationwide. .. it was mainly because of the former Russian president that the game became a pastime that appealed to the masses.”

So in other words, without Yeltsin, we probably would’ve never been introduced to the spirit-raising charms of Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova.