Shotput Beer Takedown Recounted By Eyewitness

We all remember Kayte Taylor, the Santa Rosa, California, woman who prevented a thief from stealing her wallet by shotputting a case of Miller Lite at the man, knocking him off of his getaway bike. Now an eyewitness has come forward, relating to SPORTSbyBROOKS never-before-heard details of the harrowing incident.

Beer Slogan

Bonnie Davis, a co-worker and friend of Taylor’s, was with her and two other friends on Saturday when they made a stop at a local market on their way to work. Taylor and one other girl went into the store, while Davis and the other friend, Julia, waited in the car. Here’s Davis’ description of what happened next:

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Boom Goes The Oscars; A Very Perverted Coach

• And the Oscar goes to … Will Smith, for “Boom Goes The Dynamite!”

Boom Goes The Dynamite guy Will Smith

• An Oregon basketball coach has sex with underage girls, then waits until the statute of limitations runs out before admitting to it. You stay classy, Howard Avery!

• So much for skimming off of MLB prospects’ contracts to fund gay clubs.

• A Moroccan woman overcomes homelessness, an arranged marriage and a maternal beatdown to win in her MMA debut.

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Speed Read: It’s The Academy Awards! … Or Not.

So they handed out a bunch of awards last night, and frankly, we don’t care. Until the “Academy” lifts their de facto ban on nominating sports movies with animals as the lead, we’re boycotting the Oscars and we think you ought to as well.

Air Bud 2
(Sweeping the Oscars in our hearts.)

And as if you needed further proof, The Wrestler, which was probably the best sports movie since Air Bud 2: Golden Receiver Rudy, was snubbed entirely by the Academy last night, as traditional Oscar-bait roles like “impoverished underexposed foreign minority” and “socially stigmatized overachiever” took center stage for the 90 millionth year in a row. But for Mickey Rourke and us, we’ll always have his exuberant speech from the Spirit Awards, which features insanely NSFW speech.

Oh yeah, he definitely did roids.

And there was one other nice sports moment at the Academy Awards: Will Smith, tripping over some pedestrian-at-best lines from the teleprompter, goes boom:

(Click here if, lord forbid, you don’t get it.)

Wade jogging
(”Nope, I see nothing wrong with 30 shots and 5 assists.”)

But back in the real world, we had another big individual performance: Dwyane Wade dropping 50 on the Magic. One problem–none of the rest of the Heat decided to show up, and Orlando ended up blowing Miami out, 122-99. Dwight Howard was the man for the Magic once again with 32 and 17… and this 75-foot shot, which didn’t count but makes me feel like it somehow should have. If you needed more evidence that going Berzerker like this was actually a bad idea on Wade’s part, the Heat are now 0-4 when Wade scores at least 44 points. The Eastern Conference is dutifully taking notes on giving D-Wade the long jumper all night long.

Delonte West returns
(Welcome back, man! But about those cornrows…)

And speaking of notes for the Eastern Conference, Delonte West is back for the Cleveland Cavaliers, and that is bad, bad news for everyone else. The Cavs dispatched the Pistons, 99-78, in a game that wasn’t really that close at all; the Cavs led 67-34 at the break (!!!) and coasted to a jarringly easy win. West led all scorers with 25 points, including a 5-5 performance behind the arc.

Some more quick links to peruse while you face full life consequences

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Blog Jam: ‘Boom Goes The Dynamite’ Gets a Job

• DEADSPIN happily informs us that the “Boom Goes The Dynamite” guy has found himself a real life sports reporting job.

Boom Goes The Dynamite guy

• WITH LEATHER will happily rain on the Olympic beach volleyball parade.

• BLOG OF HILARITY finds USC WR Vidal Hazelton going the Vince Young/Jeff Reed route in having some shirtless fun with his buddies.

• MR. IRRELEVANT finds a classic Redskins hog hat that’s the tops.

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We’re Anxiously Awaiting Our First Residual Check

Last month, we presented video of a college sports anchor having a little trouble in front of the camera - sort of a “Boom Goes The Dynamite: The Sequel”. Now the nervous desk jockey is enjoying the fame of his foul-ups.

Thomas Brodbeck funny video

The HUNTINGTON (IN) HERALD PRESS catches up with Thomas Brodbeck, the Huntington U. student whose on-air aggravation has become a YouTube sensation. Viewers are treated to such anguished lines as, “Can we start over?” “This is why I want to be a director,” and our personal favorite, “You’re going down, Lauren.”

Little did we know that SbB would help nudge Brodbeck to sudden super stardom.

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