Speed Read: Floyd’s Follies Continue to Roil USC

Tim Floyd, USC’s men’s basketball coach for the moment (and this after almost becoming a leader of Wildcats), allegedly paid a handler a thousand dollars in cash to be delivered to O.J. Mayo in a successful attempt to encourage the young point guard to follow through on joining USC for a season after signing his letter of intent.  (No, the handler wasn’t Li’l Romeo.  Good guess, though.)

O.J. Mayo Tim Floyd

Everyone from the handler to Floyd to USC could be in varying levels of trouble if true.  Therefore, absolutely no one except YAHOO! SPORTS’ source will speak on the record.   Their investigative journalism has been hit and miss, though their commitment to providing original reporting has not wavered.

It’s unclear how seriously the reporting from the site with the silly name can be taken, though, as they clearly do not have fake conversations where they hype their stories around a ridiculously small table while being filmed in black-and-white.  It’s not really journalism if it’s colorized.

E60 from ESPN

(Journalism!)

From one stereotypically smoky back room to another, Delaware’s legislature has passed a law permitting sports betting in a desperate attempt to fill a gaping $600 million maw in the state budget.  The governor has promised his signature on the bill once the state Supreme Court has spoken to the state constitutionality of the bill.

Delaware is one of only four states with a legal exemption to a 1992 federal law banning sports gambling and the only one east of the Mississippi.  State lawmakers have high hopes of becoming a gambling mecca for sports enthusiasts; one called the opportunity “an unbelievable cash cow”.  Again, it’s unclear how true this can be if no one will be allowed to gamble on the Wilmington Blue Rocks.

Wilmington Blue Rocks - Rocky Bluewinkle

(The only thing you can tease here is the moose, sir)

Finally, from one set of rocks to another, Boston came back to defeat the Orlando Magic 92-88 last night to take a 3-2 series lead in a highly predictable collapse from the team in blue that has only one mode: jack the three up and cross your fingers.

Magic against Celtics

Houston also got a condescending pat on the head for their Game 4 effort without Yao Ming before being penetrated 118-78 by the Lakers and falling behind 3-2 in their series. The Rockets now only have one reliable position: fetal.

Phil Mickelson and wife

(”… so that’s winning!  Interesting.”)

On the other hand, three fine NHL Game 7s have now been scheduled after wins by Anaheim and Boston last night.  Detroit never found its offense despite approximately 40392109 minutes on the power play while Carolina’s Cam Ward couldn’t quite figure out what all that goalie equipment should be used for. One possibility: handing off $1,000 in cash to the next O.J. Mayo?

Anaheim Ducks

And now a hail of bullet points discovered behind the olive loaf sandwich in the break room fridge; you know, the fridge that sent half your office to the hospital

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Maria Verchenova On Par As One Gorgeous Golfer

• Meet Maria Verchenova, on course to be the Maria Sharapova of golf.

Maria Verchenova

Glen “Big Baby” Davis had Orlando Magic fans in tears last night after sinking the game-winning shot - and running over a kid on the sidelines. But now the youngster’s peeved papa demands satisfaction.

• Not taking too kindly to the taunting of her son, a Little League mother attacks one of the name-calling kids and calls him “white trash” in return.

• Speaking of matriarchs in sports, Mark Cuban gets into it with Kenyon Martin’s mom, telling her her son is a “thug“.

Dennis Rodman reportedly dines & dashes from a Miami restaurant, but not before one of his men mauls the manager.

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Bobby Jenks Admits To Intentionally Headhunting

It’s an established fact that most pro athletes see the media as annoyance that should be ignored, misled, and undermined at every turn. Lately, we’ve seen athletes deflect questions about things like steroids by feigning ignorance or outright lying. It’s frustrating as a fan to be treated with such disdain and indifference by athletes whose careers wouldn’t even exist without fans’ willingness to shell out money for tickets and merchandise. It’s also frustrating as a reporter to be constantly stonewalled on every question and every issue.

bobby jenks horrible goatee

(Guilty … of being sexy.)

Enter butt-loving pitcher Bobby Jenks of the Chicago White Sox. On Saturday, Jenks fired a wicked fastball behind Texas Rangers second baseman Ian Kinsler. When asked about it after the game, did Jenks feign ignorance or give the standard non-answer answer about control issues? If you guessed yes, you don’t know much about Bobby Jenks.

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Shawn Johnson Stalker Caught at ‘Dancing’ Studio

• Some overly-obsessed 34-year-old tried to abduct Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson during a “Dancing With The Stars” taping.

Shawn Johnson Olympic leap

• A girls’ HS basketball team roughs up a roster of Dallas radio guys.

• Apocalypse now? Isiah Thomas could be put in charge of the Clippers.

• White Sox closer Bobby Jenks doesn’t read, but really likes his rear.

• This giveaway’s a gas: Minor league team plans to hand out fart filters.

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Bobby Jenks Doesn’t Read, Loves His Own Butt

Every now and again, THE SPORTING NEWS rolls out a profile of a pro athlete with questions that are supposed to go beyond standard Facebook boilerplate. For the most part, the interviews read as straight standard operating procedure; a little bit of personality, not much attitude. Then there’s the case of White Sox closer Bobby Jenks, who makes it clear that he’s a rip roarin redneck the way that Keanu Reeves is a horrendous actor.

bobby jenks horrible goatee

(Thank God he has such a fine ass … oh wait.)

How can we be so sure? Oh, let us count the ways. In fact, let’s just check out the most choice of Jenks’ survey responses:

What I’m reading: Read? I don’t even read the newspaper. 

Favorite physical attribute about myself: I have a nice butt.

What’s in my iPod: Anything ’80s rock

If you can believe it, there’s even more after the jump. Much more.

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