Let’s operate with a premise that may or may not come true, but for the sake of an argument and speculation we’ll say is true: Notre Dame will fire Charlie Weis relatively soon. That much isn’t exactly a stretch, though it’s anybody’s guess how long it’ll be before Weis’ buyout becomes “worth it” to Notre Dame. Economy and all.

(You know it’s bad when Weis’ Invisibility Cloak isn’t even working for him anymore.)

Once that hypothetical situation hypothetically bears itself out (strictly hypothetically, we might add), obviously, the search for a replacement is on and it had better be fruitful. While Notre Dame fans are busy explaining to themselves why they’re too good for Urban Meyer (no, really), Bob Stoops may be busy explaining to himself why he’s just right for the Golden Domers.

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How great must it be to be a top high school football prospect in Texas? The world is at your feet, and so are the big universities who will do anything to make sure you attend their school. Anything.

Jamarcus McFarland is a highly rated defensive tackle who just selected Oklahoma over Texas, which I’m sure is huge news in Norman, but even bigger news for the rest of us because of the window it gives on the sordid recruiting process, which at Texas takes the form of a party with “free alcohol, drugs and young women taking off their clothes.” (More examples after the jump, which means I know I’ll see you on the other side.)

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• Playboy is looking for one lucky college writer to cover the Final Four.

Candidates must be able to find girls with a great set of Gonzagas.

• Some NFL squads can learn a lot from the CFL’s Calgary Stampeders.

• Being fat, drunk, stupid and a Lions fan is no way to go through life, son.

• Abracadabra! Eddie Jordan disappears as Wizards coach.

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Hey SbBers! Hope you had an enjoyable pre-Thanksgiving weekend. And how about that Grey Cup, eh? Of course, your average Canadian may have missed the action, but we in the States got to follow along, thanks to the broadcasting behemoth known as Versus! Oh, wait - you don’t have Versus in your area? That’s a shock.

Speaking of weekend turkeys, Texas Tech had the stuffing knocked out of them by Oklahoma 65-21. Which brings us to today’s SbB Clever Caption Contest - starring Bob Stoops and Mike Leach!

So, what’s up wtih the Sooners coach rubbing his vanquished Red Raiders foe?  Toss along your thoughts into the comments section. Winner will be announced in the end-of-the-day recap, and still be mathematically eligible in the BCS standings. (With the way this silly system works, don’t be surprised.)

Good luck, and good writing! (And take solace in the fact you’ll have an easier time than Graham Harrell & the Tech ‘D’ did Saturday night.)

How ironic is it that the giant nail in the coffin of John McCain’s Presidential hopes last night came when the networks declared Ohio for Barack Obama. After all, McCain appeared to run his campaign like Jim Tressel cluelessly bumbling his way through coaching Ohio State to another BCS Title Game meltdown. In this analogy, Obama really was LSU or Florida: faster, hungrier and ready to deliver a hellacious beatdown.

(Does this make Sarah Palin the Maurice Clarett of the ticket - initially exciting but eventually a total disaster? I’ll leave that up to you to decide.)

But while the Maverick of the Senate might have suffered an historic thumping on Tuesday night, the Mavericks of Dallas were taking a venerable but aging institution out to the woodshed, beating the Spurs 98-81 to drop San Antonio to 0-3 for the first time in the team’s NBA history. They can’t possibly be missing Manu Ginobli this much, could they?

And what about Matt Lindland, the MMA fighter who was the Republician candidate for a State House seat? Unfortunately for him, he was about as competitive as Kimbo Slice, as he fell to a double digit defeat at the hands of his Democratic opponent. I would have said that having a campaign manager named Tootie Smith was a bad sign, but then again…Scooter Libby.

On to the other, slightly less significant news:

• Don’t tase him, bro! The TRI-CITY HERALD says that an Arena Football player was zapped by airport security after busting through a window at the terminal and getting on the tarmac trying to get to his flight. That’s called dedication.
• FARTHER OFF THE WALL has an offer for you: how about having Pete Arbogast, the radio voice of the USC Trojans, call your kids’ soccer game for just $500? And the Web site offering these services is just as professional looking as you would expect from a media type whoring himself out for a few bucks.
• The NEW YORK TIMES dials in news that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is sending a letter to Senators blaming the cable companies for why you don’t have the NFL Network. Didn’t he get the memo that Obama’s first priority is getting a college football playoff?
• The CHICAGO TRIBUNE breaks down the news that Illinois WR Jeff Cumberland is going to play this week despite breaking teammate Mikel LeShoure’s jaw in a fight last Saturday night.
• Do they have any decent sushi places in Atlanta? The ATLANTA JOURNAL CONSTITUTION notes that the Braves have made an offer to 22-year-old Japanese pitching phenom Junichi Tazawa.
• How far has the Tennesee football program fallen? The WINSTON SALEM JOURAL says that David Cutcliffe would rather stay at Duke than consider taking the Vols’ head coaching job.
• The MOSCOW-PULLMAN DAILY NEWS reports that three Idaho football players have been suspended after being charged with battery after a fight at a house party this weekend. What do you expect from the players when you call the team the “Vandals?”
• According to the LOS ANGELES TIMES, Oaks Christian High School - the school that has the sons of Joe Montana, Wayne Gretzky and Will Smith - might be in trouble for advertising its athletic department on local TV. The ads were OK, but still better than Hancock.
• BYU quarterback Max Hall tells the SALT LAKE TRIBUNE that he’ll be missing Thursday night’s huge Mountain West Conference game between Utah and TCU because he can’t miss The Office. And I thought Dwight Schrute was Amish and not Mormon.
• Bob Stoops tells THE OKLAHOMAN that he’s come full circle and now supports a college football playoff. Sounds like Obama’s minions got to him.

Mike Leach’s undefeated Texas Tech Red Raiders will be center stage Saturday as they host #1 Texas in Lubbock. The game reps the pinnacle of Leach’s coaching career, which has seen him go from the smallest of colleges to coaching football in Finland to an assistant-ship under Bob Stoops at Oklahoma.

(Creepy: Leach has painting of himself as Van Gogh in his office)

I’ll be rooting like crazy for Leach, because he’s the kind of guy that makes the main media uncomfortable. The reason he isn’t a bigger name on the national scene? He’s always in control of the conversation during interviews, which the hair-gelled types in Bristol despise.

He doesn’t fit into the little, tidy box that the College GameDay crew wants him in. The Bob Stoops, Urban Meyer buttoned-down profile. Kinda like Kansas’ Mark Mangino last season, who was generally ignored by ESPN & Co. despite authoring one of the most astonishing stories in the history of college football.

Mangino and Leach, though different personalities, are the same guy. Outsiders. You can put Pat Hill in that group too. Too honest, too quirky, and in some cases, too innovative. Take for instance Leach’s attempt to get the head coaching jobs at UCLA and Miami in recent years. Read more…

Oklahoma State played like the second-best team in the nation this afternoon. There was one tiny problem, however, with Oklahoma State’s virtuoso performance, and that is that they were facing the best team, Texas. The Cowboys’ feisty resistance kept them in the game all day long, and Texas was only able to escape, 28-24, after a last-second Hail Mary fell harmlessly to the turf, batted down at the 10-yard line. Sure, superman WR Dez Bryant had gotten past the Texas secondary, but that’s mainly because the secondary was playing the ball, which was nowhere near Bryant when it came back down to earth. It was a gritty, gutty fight on both sides, though, certainly a better fight than (ahem) Oklahoma put up, and only the most careless of pollsters will drop Oklahoma State more than a spot or two for this loss.

Elsewhere in college football this afternoon… Read more…

While UCLA’s Kevin Craft was not throwing interceptions during UCLA’s improbable overtime win against 18th-ranked Tennessee, a group of University of Oklahoma athletes were busy getting jumped in a nightclub.

(Actually, the bar-room brawl went down early Sunday morning, I just wanted an opportunity to point out that Craft threw FOUR first-half interceptions and the Vols still managed to find a way to lose.)

Oklahoma football coach Bob Stoops wasn’t talking but the ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that at least two athletes from the school were injured during the fracas.

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Dubya dribbles with some Irish kids. We need a Guinness after viewing that.

• Tiger Woods’ win in San Diego is Wall Street’s loss in productivity.

• Speaking of the ex-Eldrick, Sports Illustrated needs help with next week’s cover.

• Doug Christie’s better half is blackballing him from the NBA.

• ESPN wants to keep an eye on you - a big, bloodshot eye.

• Meanwhile, the Worldwide Leader should keep an eye on Jemele Hill’s Hitler-Celtics comments.

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POLL NO LONGER MUM(ME) ABOUT WHO VOTED HAWAII #1: Tony Barnhart of the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION found some fun tidbits in the final coaches poll of the 2007 college football regular season:

Most interesting was a first-place vote given to Hawaii, who needed a last-minute touchdown and last-second interception to defeat a 4-8 Washington at home late Saturday night.The undefeated and Sugar Bowl-bound Warriors were at the top of the list of Hal Mumme, head coach at fellow WAC member New Mexico State.

Meanwhile, some coaches were staying true to their school. LSU’s Les Miles and Oklahoma’s Bob Stoops each voted their own team #1, while Virginia Tech’s Frank Beamer and Georgia’s Mark Richt each had their squads at #2 - with Richt putting his Bulldogs ahead of LSU.Like Mumme, Big Ten coaches also kept solidarity with their conference, as all seven that vote in the poll had Ohio State ranked #1 - even Michigan’s Lloyd Carr.

Need some further help in deciphering the poll madness? The site POLLSPEAK attempts to rationalize some of the thinking by coaches, columnists and computers about who ranks where. They even nominate which casted ballots make the most sense & most nonsense.Such as voting Hawaii #1.