MMA: No Go In Vancouver, Yes Go In Texas HS?

If you think of two cities in North America, it’s hard to imagine two more dissimilar locales than Vancouver and Dallas. Sure, there are more geographically removed examples, but Wasilla and Miami aren’t so dissimilar; they both love the living hell out of a particular drug (meth and cocaine, respectively). But while Vancouver is like Valhalla for potheads, hippies, and the poor of hygiene (redundant, we know), Dallas is Texas to the core, where they’d look at Hank Hill as “dangerously liberal.”

Massive blood MMA
(Just think: in Dallas, this could be your son!)

That disparity in attitudes is probably best demonstrated by each’s approach to MMA, which is an acronym that somehow stands for “legally beating the living Christ out of someone for fun and money.” In Vancouver, they held five events and said “no no, that’ll be all, hockey back bacon Rick Moranis snow.” In Dallas, however, not only is it sanctioned, but it’s apparently an effective disciplinary tool for administrators of local high schools. Oh, this can’t end well. Read more…

As If It Wasn’t Bad Enough Just Being A CFL Fan

For the first time in 56 years, the Grey Cup, the championship game of the CFL, won’t be broadcast on free television in Canada today. To get a sense of what that’s like, picture Roger Goodell pulling a power play and making sure the Super Bowl is only shown on the NFL Network. But don’t picture it too hard; it’s probably not too far off.

Grey Cup

(”Go Roughriders! Beat those Roughriders!”)

Back to our neighbors to the north. Understandably, some fans are very upset that they won’t be able to see today’s Alouettes/Stampeders matchup. It’ll be broadcast on TSN, a cable channel that’s basically the ESPN of Canada. While “virtually 99 percent” of Canadians get TSN on either cable or satellite, a good chunk of people will be shut out. What what they’ll receive instead just adds insult to injury.

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