8:00 PM CSN Baltimore has video of Marcus Smith, a U.S. soldier who dressed as a minor league umpire to surprise his children at a Bowie Baysox game with a home visit from Afghanistan.
7:45 PM A Japanese Harley-Davidson motorcycle that was swept out to sea during last year's tsunami washed up on a shore in British Columbia last month. The bike's owner asked that the motorcycle be displayed at the Harley-Davidson Museum in Milwaukee as a memorial to the tsunami victims.
7:30 PM Buffalo Bills receiver David Clowneytweeted the results of his HIV test which came back negative. And to the critics of his decision to share his results, Clowney added: "Some people are Ridiculously stupid ... And can't see the bigger picture about things that are important in this world."
Thanks to a tip sent to us by a student who attends the University of Oklahoma, that features a picture of Sooners forward Blake Griffin partying with 3 of his lovely little girlfriends and giving the camera man the middle finger.
Now, is Griffin signaling his draft position or what he thinks of the team who will likely select him?
If the early games in the NCAA Tournament on Thursday were kind of a bust (except for the Memphis vs. Cal State Northridge game; sorry, no love for the “scrappy underdogs” - way to blow it, Matadors!), then the late games were … marginally more exciting. There was an actual upset, with No. 12 Western Kentucky taking down No. 5 Illinois, 76-72.
But then again, most experts were predicting that Western Kentucky would win this game ahead of time, due to the loss of the Illini’s starting point guard Chester Frazier with a broken hand, and the return of Hilltopper’s mascot from a broken right … orange blobby thing.
No, the late games were more notable for the near misses than the upsets. Take No. 6 UCLA, which almost fell apart completely against Virginia Commonwealth, nearly blowing a 10-point halftime lead and having the ball in the hands of Rams star Eric Maynor with time expiring and a chance to win the game. (Not the person you want with the ball if you’re UCLA - just ask Duke) Fortunately for the Bruins, Darren Collison came to the rescue, forcing a hurried, off-balance miss from Maynor to hold on to a 65-64 win.
Speaking of blowing a lead … poor American. Just like their namesake economy, their 14-point second half lead against Villanova went into a deep recession, and there was no bailout package coming from the government. Playing in front of a partisan Philadelphia crowd (thanks, seeding committee!), the No. 3 Wildcats rallied later to survive a scare from the No. 14 Eagles, 80-67.
(Note to American University: nice try in attempting to gain our sympathy with your name: the American Eagles. Why don’t you just call yourself the American Heroes Who Died On 9/11 Who Will Weep In Heaven If You Root Against Us? It’s about as subtle.)
Not having trouble advancing was No. 2 Oklahoma, who trounced No. 15 Morgan State 82-57 behind 28 points and 13 rebounds from star Blake Griffin. However, Griffin did have one moment of problems: specifically, when the Bears’ back-up center Ameer Ali decided to practice his armbar takedown on Griffin after they got tangled up together:
It should go without saying that Ali was ejected, and then immediately escorted to St. Louis for the NCAA Wrestling Championships. Ali says the whole incident was unintentional and “a misunderstanding,” which I would only believe if I was Billy Packer and he was a Duke player who just shattered Tyler Hansbrough’s face.
(Not only has Griffin had to deal with this and sustaining a concussion a few weeks ago, but remember the cheap shot he received from USC’s Leonard Washington at the start of the year as well. Either Griffin in such a pacifist than he makes Gahndi look like Genghis Khan or he’s going to snap and pummel someone to death with his sneaker by the end of the tournament. Maybe this explains why he feels the need to lash out at society by peeing in bushes.)
For those of you who are part of the 80 percent of American males who managed to come down with a 48-hour bug starting yesterday morning, your slate of games today look good enough to help you cope with your “debilitating illness”. There are several games that have “Upset Special” written all over them, which probably means that the games will go chalk all day.
In other sports news from last night you might have missed as you polished up your…ahem…resume for a Rhode Island strip club’s job fair:
Martin Brodeur might be the winningest goalkeeper in NHL history, but the CBC reports that he might be the losingest ex-husband in the history of hockey: an appeals court ordered him to pay $500,000 a year in alimony to his ex-wife Melanie DuBois until 2020.
It might be a sport played by drunk men with pot bellies, mullets and porn mustaches, but damn it, you must respect the rules of etiquette in bowling! The SACRAMENTO BEE reports that a dispute about who had right of way to bowl turned into a brawl at a Rocklin, CA, bowling alley featuring one man knocking out another man’s tooth with a bowling ball. <RUN FUNCTION TO READER: INSERT “BIG LEBOWSKI” JOKE HERE>
BUGS & CRANKS is focusing their considerable hatred on Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo, and his decision to spend Spring Training living on a houseboat. Apparently, if there was ever a movie made about Arroyo’s life, it would star Matthew McConaughy. And it would probably suck, but your significant other would drag you to it because he’s so “dreamy” and “laid back.”
Your semifinals for the World Baseball Classic are set (yes, that’s still going on) after Japan’s 6-2 victory over Korea. The defending champion Japanese will take on the U.S. in one game on Saturday at Dodger Stadium, while Korea faces off against Venezuela.
Speaking of the WBC and your apparent apathy to it, LARRY BROWN SPORTS says that Red Sox slugger Kevin Youklis is very upset with American fans for not showing up to the team’s games at the World Baseball Classic. This means you, Joe Six-Pack: even if you’ve lost your job, your house is being repossessed and your kids are being forced to share the same pair of shoes, that’s no excuse for not coughing up $45 a person for cheap seats.
How about a hearty welcome to the MLS for the Seattle Sounders, as Drew Carey’s expansion team drubbed New York Red Bull 3-0 in the team’s inaugural game. But I don’t care how many games this “new” Sounders team wins: I doubt they’ve have a music video of their highlights as cool as this collection of highlights from the NASL team in 1975 set to “The Hustle”:
I know he’s only been on the job for a couple of months, but here’s a friendly bit of advice to President Barack Obama: it’s probably not a good idea to make jokes about the Special Olympics, as the CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR says you did on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno” last night.
While we wait to find out what athletes named come up as clients in the Houston prostitution ring, the CHARLOTTE OBSERVER has news of another brewing scandal: a secret, late-night warehouse that offered sex, drugs and high-stakes card games to its clients. When the club was raided, at least one former NFL player was there, and other athletes are said to be “frequent patrons.”
Yawn: another day, another LeBron James triple-double, going for 26 points, 11 rebounds and 10 assists. His feat led the Cavaliers to a 97-92 overtime victory over Portland as Cleveland tied an NBA record by committing only two turnovers - and one was at the end of overtime.
The best part about this headline, in truth, is that it’s not even the first time we’ve been able to connect Eddy Curry with a preposterous legal suit in the past month. Remember this? Still, as bad as a two-year-old Big & Tall clothing bill is, this takes the cake: According to this story in the NEW YORK POST, the oft-injured and always overpaid Knicks center is accused of trying to solicit gay sex from his chauffeur, whom he also made touch his penis, clean up towels he had ejaculated into and whom he called a, “f**king Jew”, “white slave”, “white devil”, and “grandmaster of the KKK”. Oh, and when the driver complained, Curry pointed a loaded gun at him and threatened to kill him if he spoke.
(Nothing is coming up Eddy anymore. That’s for sure.)
Yes, folks, that’s about as good a story lede as you can get. Just imagine the eyes on the reporter who tripped across this court filing. “Oh, look, a Knicks benchwarmer is getting sued. Hmm, wait a minute! Gay sex! Racial epithets! He makes $9 million!! Someone get me the executive editor!”
For your reading pleasure, here are the best lines from the suit, carefully culled by the POST:
The stunning court papers claim Curry, a married father of three, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky“in the nude,” allegedly telling him, “Look at me, Dave, look” and “Come and touch it, Dave.”
In a disturbing episode reminiscent of some of the evidence in the manslaughter case against former Nets star Jayson Williams, Kuchinsky further claims in his suit that Curry pointed a “fully loaded” gun at him on at least two separate occasions to keep him from complaining about his treatment. “Look, I have one in the chamber,” Curry allegedly said.
Exactly how many of the allegations Curry fulfilled is up for debate, but — as with the Duke rape case — at the very least he was doing things that weren’t advisable. Note to self: Don’t call any future butlers grandmaster of the KKK”. Oh, and don’t make them butlers if you’ve only hired them to drive you around.
However, what might be the most astonishing thing about the suit, is just how little David Kuchinsky, the driver in question, is asking for. The POST claims that he wants $98,000 — $68,000 in unpaid wages and another $25,000+ in unpaid expenses from Curry — and “compensatory damages” from the center. Look, we’re not genuises here, but $98,000 is chump change for a guy whose been making $9 million a year. Sure, it’s good money, but if you’re Curry, don’t you just settle that suit as fast as humanly possible? You whipped it out on the guy repeatedly and made him clean up your masturbatory mess, and all he wants is a measly $100G? Seems cheap at the price, if you ask us.
“Instead of paying him, they discriminated against him, figuring that it would keep him there,” said Kuchinsky’s lawyer, Matthew Blit. “Imagine going into your boss’s office … and he stands up and drops his pants and he asks you take care of him. Those actions are unacceptable whether it’s in a corporate office or a private home.”
It’s worth noting that Kuchinsky does have a checkered past — he served a three-year prison sentence for a 1992 burglary in New Jersey — and that Curry’s lawyer, Kelly Saindon, says that the suit is the culmination of a series of blackmailing threats from the former chauffeur.
Still, if any of these allegations are admitted to or proven true in a court of law, it will solidify one thing: Curry is the human equivalent of canine feces. Yes, we’re calling him dog crap. He can take his 2:38 of game action this entire season and shove it. Or maybe Kuchinsky can do that for him. He might like that.
There was more NBA news, but alas, it was much less inflammatory, degrading or insulting. Still, it was pretty entertaining. Following a second-straight win over Toronto, snapping the team’s previous elongated losing skid in the process, Celtics center Kevin Garnett felt comfortable enough to loosen up in a postgame presser and go Christopher Reeve on everyone. Here’s the video:
Is it just us, or does Paul Pierce always seem like KG’s red-headed step-cousin in the interview room? Garnett steals the stage even when he’s trying to deflect praise, all of which makes the dual-mic pressers even more awkward, and more entertaining in the process.
Also, if you haven’t seen him play yet this year, now might be a good time to check out Oklahoma’s Blake Griffin. Here’s a lowdown of what he does well: Everything inside the three-point line. Here’s what he does poorly: select earphones. Did anyone see the earbuds he was using during a pre-game shootaround before Monday night’s win over rival Texas, a victory which snapped a six-game Oklahoma hoops losing streak against the Longhorns? They were either A) really old iPod earbuds or B) ripoffs of iPod earbuds. We couldn’t see “COBY” on them, but they had all the tell-tale signs. What, he can’t afford any Bose or Sony in-ear headphones? And what about the Nike ‘phones that are allegedly “designed for athletics”. Nike sponsors OU and they won’t comp a future top-10 pick a pair of headphones?
(Hmmm. Blake Griffin. Think he’s from Quahog, R.I.?)
You know all those horrible chick flicks they put out with a hot actress — say, Kate Hudson — who is torn between two perfectly affable potential lovers and friends? Well, in this one, the two guys are played by PGA stud Adam Scott on Alex Rodriguez. Oh, and it’s actually happening.
Remember the old codger of a Hall of Fame voter in Tuscon who openly forgot to vote for Rickey Henderson? Well, ol’ Corky Simpson is taking out his frustration on the interwebs. We’d give you his home address and email if we had it … so come back soon. We should have it by lunch (gotta love the interwebs, even if Corky doesn’t).
There is no way Ed Rendell will ever win another election in Pennsylvania; he just simultaneously jinxed both the Steelers and Eagles with one, ferociously stupid blow.
Rendell might get off easy if it’s really snowy in Pittsburgh and the Ravens slog out a gross game. That’s more than you can say for the Spanish soccer fans in the video below.
There have been plenty of self-assured hurrahs about the Colts’ new coach after Tony Dungy’s retirement, with Jim Caldwell lauded as the perfect replacement waiting in the wings. Well, did anyone think to check out his record at his last stop? SHUTDOWN CORNER did. Guess what: It isn’t pretty.
Speaking of the Colts, if things keep going down this path, Dungy might not be the only constant Indianapolis face leaving town. Marvin Harrison might be gone, too.
You might not know the name Blake Griffin yet, but you will soon. And hopefully it will be because of his basketball ability and not because more photos like this end up on the internet:
Griffin, a 6-10, 251 lb. sophomore at Oklahoma, is putting up huge numbers through his first six games this season, averaging (yes, averaging) 25.7 points and 19.2 rebounds per game. NBADRAFT.NET predicts he’ll be the #1 pick in the 2009 (a glimmer of hope, Thunder fans). And he apparently likes to prance around in fields wearing women’s clothing. Dude’s got it all.
Ah yes, the Wildcats - first another embarrassing loss to a non-conference minnow (VMI in 2008 replacing Gardner-Webb from 2007) and now a shellacking on national TV against North Carolina without the services of Tyler Hansbrough. Maybe it’s not enough for Kentucky fans to be sending “We’re Sorry We Ran You Out Of Town” cards to Tubby Smith, but head coach Billy Gillispie has got to be feeling more and more heat every day.
The game of the night was on opposite the Wildcats’ mauling, and featured a pair of preseason All-Americans in Davidson’s Stephen Curry and Oklahoma’s Blake Griffin. And for once the game and the key players lived up to the hype: Curry scored a career-high 44 to (almost) lead the Wildcats back from a 21-point hole, but Griffin’s 25 points and 21 rebounds were enough for the Sooners to survive, 82-78.
Meanwhile, in the world where they pay you to play basketball (up front), the Lakers kept their dream of 81-1 alive by turning back the Bulls 116-109. The hero? For once, it wasn’t Kobe Bryant but Pau Gasol, who had an impressive 34 points on 14 of 21 shooting.
Other sports news that happened last night as you recovered from the shock of hearing a hoax that Miley Cyrus, like, had totally been killed in a car crash, and OMG you just had to go on MySpace with your friends to see if that had happened. LOL.
Sandanista! SI says that Hall of Famer & American Public Diplomacy Envoy Cal Ripken Jr. is forced to abandon his final planned baseball clinic in Nicaragua after the State Department issues a warning about post-election violence. Thus ending his “Iron Man” streak of three straight baseball clinics at three.
Brian Cuban posts on his THE CUBAN REVOLUTION blog that his brother Mark is not Martha Stewart. I could have told you that: the fudge Mark made me for Christmas last year was dry and bland.
The good news for you retro gamers: Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff for the Nintendo DS is available today. The bad news: GAME INFORMER says it’s not very good. No NFL licenses? No QB Eagles?!?
Houston Mitchell of the LOS ANGELES TIMES’ FABULOUS FORUM thinks newly-crowned AL MVP Dustin Pedroiamight be a future Hall of Famer, based on his pedigree as a former Rookie of the Year and MVP. Yeah, but Thurman Munson was on that list, too, and look how his career turned out. (Too soon?)
Speaking of MVPs, Cardinals slugger Albert Pujols is throwing his star power behind St. Louis’ bid to get an MLS expansion team, according to the ST. LOUIS BUSINESS JOURNAL. Let’s see that little twerp Pedroia do THAT! Even if a writer for the MILWAUKEE JOURNAL-SENTINEL did put Pujols 7th on his NL MVP ballot. The writer’s name is Tom Haudricourt, in case you wanted to know just who could be that stupid.
The last time I was accused of doing something that “outraged the public decency”, it involved a kiddie pool full of chocolate pudding, four or five dancers from Cheetah’s and a lot of duct tape. Let’s just say I’m not allowed within 100 feet of any city park ever again. But apparently what counts as “outrageous” in Los Angeles is a little different in Norman, Oklahoma.
At least that’s what I took from the AOL FANHOUSE story on Oklahoma basketball star (and likely 2009 NBA Draft lottery pick) Blake Griffin after he was cited for “Outraging the Public Decency“after being spotted urinating in some bushes at a parking lot near campus early Thursday morning.
