NFL Relaxing Blackout Restrictions. Sort Of. Kinda

Doubtless, you’ve heard about the perils facing the Jacksonville Jaguars and other teams who have failed so miserably in their ticket sales for the 2009 season that they’re facing a season-long blackout. Well, nobody really wants that - fans want to be able to see their local team, of course, and franchises would obviously love to sell out by any means necessary. But that’s not the road several teams are on, so here comes the misery.

NFL is Old News
(”This touchdown was yesterday!”)

Not so fast, though, says the NFL; they’re willing to provide the games for free viewing after all, what with this lousy economy and all. There’s just one teeny tiny little detail that we’re sure nobody’s going to have a problem with; these games won’t exactly be, y’know, live.

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NFC Title Game Confirms Cards’ Fairweather Fans

Remember two weeks ago, when it took two extensions and a healthy dose of traveling Falcons fans to sell out University of Phoenix Stadium for the Cardinals’ first playoff home game since moving to Arizona? Well, if you thought that was a pretty sure sign that their fans aren’t worth plaudits, this will just make you crazy: Now, with the help of Eagles fans, they’ve already nearly sold out the NFC Championship Game.

Arizona Cardinals OL Deuce Lutui
(Don’t mind Duece Lutui, he’s a seat-filler when he’s not on the field.)

Of course, crazy Eagles fans could have something to do with that. After all, Philadelphia is notorious for “traveling well”. Still, within 20 minutes the game was all but sold out on TICKETMASTER, with only pricey singles left. As of this minute, the range in ticket prices on STUB HUB has a floor of $200 and reaches all the way to, unbelievably, $150,000. Yes, $150,000. What recession?

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Sox Try Blackout Since It Worked So Well For UGA

How big is tonight’s game between the White Sox and Twins in Chicago? So big that all of the fans are being encouraged to show up wearing the same color. Because, as we all know, that always works:

Georgia blackout

Ladies of Chicago, break out that pea coat you haven’t worn since 2003 ’cause it’s a blackout night on the South Side. 40,000 black towels will be handed out to fans as they enter the gates. It’s gonna be super awesome and intimidating to those weenies from Minnesota, where they’re all about that totally lame white hanky bullcrap. Let’s hear from the guy you want firing you up — White Sox vice president and chief marketing officer Brooks Boyer!

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