The World Is A Urinal To Two New Orleans Saints

One benefit to late nights and early mornings in the grasp of excessive intoxication is the simplicity it bestows on the world. Whereas a sober person can look out the window and see hundreds if not thousands of different things, a drunk man sees an array of urinals, foodstuffs, curios, and targets. You can do one of only four things to something you see, really: mark your territory on it, eat it, steal it, or hit it (whether with a fist, foot, or foreign object). At further levels of intoxication, by the way, the entire world turns into a bed, but we’re getting off topic here. Re-focus.

Ealy Kolomona
(Our two drunken Don Juans, in happier times.)

Of the four drunkman activities, though, the worst idea is probably peeing wherever you feel like it. Sure enough, according to WWL TV, two Saints players are in trouble with the law (and most likely their parents, who we’d hope would never have taught them this kind of behavior) after being arrested for obscenity, lewd conduct, and disorderly conduct. That sounds moderately interesting, but it’s just legalese for the infinitely more entertaining “pull out your hog and piss on a parking lot, then sexually harass some chicks”: Read more…