Tags: Angel Cabrera
, Billy Goat Curse
, Blind Hitting Coach
, Brian Bosworth
, Cc Sabathia
, Chicago Cubs
, Cleveland Indians
, Detroit Tigers
, Duke Blue Devils
, Harry Kalas
, Horse Hairstyling
, Joe Frazier
, Manny Ramirez
, Mark Fidrych
, Muhammad Ali
, New York Yankees
, Philadelphia Phillies
, The Masters
Today marks the 101st straight Opening Day at Wrigley Field in Chicago in which the Cubs won’t be raising a banner that says “World Champions” on it, and as we are all well aware, it’s because the Cubs are cursed. Seriously, they have to be. I mean, how else could you explain the fact that it’s raining outside in Chicago right now and that the odds are pretty good the game may be rained out? A high pressure system colliding with a low pressure system? Please! Keep your science to yourself, Nerdlinger. It’s the curse.
Okay, so I know that’s a bunch of crap. There’s no such thing as curses, but there are plenty of Cub fans around the world that do believe in them, and these people are idiots. They believe that the Cubs haven’t won a World Series because they wouldn’t let a goat into Wrigley Field many many moons ago. These same morons do things every year to try and reverse this non-existent curse, and early this morning those morons latest attempt included hanging a dead goat from the Harry Caray statue outside Wrigley Field.
First and foremost, Chicago is a city of curses. The political scene is cursed with Daleys, the Blackhawks are cursed to have the biggest Scrooge of an owner in professional hockey, and, first and foremost, the Cubs are cursed by a billy goat who was denied entrance despite wielding his own ticket. Well, now the city’s police force has jumped on to the curse wagon, as it’s already begging Chicago baseball fans to “celebrate responsibly” despite the fact that the season hasn’t even started yet.
(This year, the goat might be off the hook.)
Yes, we get it: The cops are talking about celebrating regular season wins, not a championship. But no police force ever addresses regular season games. That’s what makes Saturday’s proclamation, as covered here in the CHICAGO TRIBUNE, such a shock: The department had the balls to go out and deliver it in the preseason. If they’re already laying the groundwork for “please don’t burn cars and couches!” speeches, Chicago officials clearly must feel that the Cubs and White Sox are heading to the playoffs, potentially to a World Series.
The Chicago Cubs have lost their last four games, and since it’s September and they are the Chicago Cubs, panic is beginning to hit the streets of Chicago. There must be something the team can do to break this 100-year old curse….
Yep, the Chicago Cubs and the distributors of the Dutch made vodka Effen have teamed up to help relieve the pressure currently mounting on the team. A billboard just like the one you see above you will be placed across the street from Wrigley Field starting this Thursday.
DEAD GOAT HUNG ON HARRY TO HELP REVERSE CUB CURSE: Some Cubs fans have taken this billy goat curse thing a little too far:
HOME RUN DERBY has the gruesome discovery of a dead goat hung on the Harry Caray statue outside of Wrigley Field. Chicago police cut down the carcass, which seems to be the latest and most bizarre attempt at reversing the curse.The nuttiness began in 1945, when bar owner Billy Sianis had two seats to Game 4 of the World Series and brought along his pet goat. Although the pair were let in, Sianis and friend were soon booted out by orders of the team owner. The enraged tavernkeeper then supposedly levied the curse, telling the team they would never win the World Series again.
The Cubs went on to lose Game 4, and the series - and haven’t been back to the championships since.
The problem with the dead goat delivery to 1060 W. Addison is that it goes against the apparent curse cure. Sianis’ nephew Sam has said that the real cure would be the Cubs showing “a true sincere fondness for goats,” not just using them as a publicity ploy - or killing them.Then again, it may have been a White Sox fan who hung the goat gizzards, hoping to extend the North Siders’ misery.
Either way, PETA isn’t going to be pleased.