The answer to the question posed in the headline all depends on whether you believe the numbers of email respondents being circulated by the “Bill Simmons for Minnesota GM” fan group on Facebook, or the number that the team is admitting its received publicly.

(The next T-Wolves GM could be another Celtics fan.)

Either way, we know that Simmons — aka, ESPN’s “The Sports Guy” — has had more than 1,200 emails sent expressing support of his candidacy. And that’s a truly significant number for a team that averaged 27th in attendance last year, rarely drawing more than 15,000 fans per game.

Think about that for a second: If the reports about Simmons getting 15,000 emailers supporting him are correct, there would be more email supporters than fans at your average Minnesota game in 2008-09. Not hiring someone based on that fan backing would seem almost ludicrous from a financial planning and marketing standpoint.

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The Netherlands’ World Baseball Classic team showed just how awesome colonialism was with their second victory over the Dominican Republic yesterday, 2-1 in 11 innings. This unlikely series of events pushes the Netherlands team into the second round and eliminates the Dominican squad.

The Netherlands team’s combination of Arubans, Netherlands Antilles residents, and the occasional Dutch person bested the Dominicanos behind the power of their pitching in both games, no doubt buoyed by pitching coach Bert Blyleven.

If Blyleven can turn Sidney Ponson into a nominal pitcher again, he should launch past potential MLB pitching coach jobs and apply for beatification.

(We kid.  While the WBC is a watering hole for semi-famous former ballplayers, it’s not exactly a test of coaching mettle. Also, 24 walks in 29 innings isn’t worth bragging about. Small sample size, thy name is “first-round WBC exit for the DR”.)

Apparently, Jay Cutler doesn’t picture himself as chattel. He leans into the mirror and he sees a diabetic, perhaps. He probably sees a Pro Bowl quarterback. However, he just can’t see the piece o’meat others do.

Therefore, the healing process after his near-trade (okay, his far-trade) from the Broncos to Tampa (or Kansas City or what not) hasn’t gone smoothly. In fact, it’s more of a scab-picking competition between Broncos management and Cutler’s people. An attempt at a long-distance group hug fell apart yesterday and both sides are the worse for wear for it.

We just finished listening to Bill Simmons’ latest podcast with Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey and, yes, he’s brilliant. However, he kept referring to his players as “assets” he needed to accumulate to gather different assets down the line.

This is all fine and true, but you don’t engender loyalty when you refer to your employees with the same terminology as you’d use to describe your real estate holdings.

So yes, it’s a big bad business and Cutler knew what he was in for when he signed up to be a professional ballplayer, but he doesn’t have to like it. Also, if he has the leverage, he doesn’t have to put up with it.

And hey… if the Broncos don’t need a 25-year-old quarterback that has proved more than competent for the job, maybe they can’t value their assets or their people as well as they could.

Former NFL placekicker Tony Zendejas found himself acquitted of rape charges by a Pomona jury yesterday. (The rather painful details have been covered here previously;  those sensitive to discussion of “anal tears” are encouraged to pass on the link.)

At least he can safely return to “Party Time, Zendejas Time!!!!!“ now.

And now the proverbial hail of bullets while wrestling an injured lunatic ninja kangaroo in your living room…

• Ben Woodside, the college basketball player that scored 60 points in a loss earlier this season, just made the shot to send North Dakota State to the NCAA tourney in their first year of eligibility as a D-I school.
• LaDainian Tomlinson and the Chargers agreed to a three-year contract. “Anchors Aweigh” seems appropriate, considering San Diego’s a Navy town.
• If you mess with the Husky, you get the cyber whip: Some bright fellow (and Washington State fan) got ahold of a University of Washington player’s cell number and harrassed him through calls and texts before the big rivalry game. After UW beat WSU, the Husky player posted his harrasser’s number on Twitter and told his friends and fans to “let him have it”.
• If you cheat on a math test to stay eligible to play in the high school state tourney, don’t get caught. If you do get caught, get your mother to sue for a temporary restraining order to force the school to let you play in the tourney.

• Breaking up is hard to do, true, but the good news? Ladies… Hulk Hogan will be single soon!
• Lamar Odom will miss a game for leaving the bench in Monday’s loss to the Trail Blazers. However, Trevor Ariza is still allowed to practice whatever brand of defense he has. You know, the one that sends the other guy to the hospital overnight. “Hard-nosed”, we suppose.
• And now maybe Shaq wants to leave Phoenix. Again, we’re all for the return of personal choice for professional athletes, but we didn’t mean to suggest the athlete should make as many different ones as possible.
• Barack Obama favors one Sarge over all others in his posse. That would seem to hurt troop morale, but no one’s fussing yet.
• Peyton Manning couldn’t make it to his own state holiday because Tiger wanted to hit a few golf balls around. Hey, we’d make the same call and we can’t even putt adequately into the clown’s mouth.

Suppose you’ve got a product that exists in a relatively finite market. Its value is directly related to the amount of money it can generate, whether by its own sale or by the sales it can generate while in your possession. Suppose that you, as an owner, enter into obligations based on that projected value or the projected sale. Then, this being America in 2009, the bottom completely drops out of that market, and you’re left in a financially untenable situation with an “asset” that suddenly isn’t worth nearly what you expected. So, are we talking about home owners, banks, and mortgages… or the professional sports landscape?

(Look behind Derrick Rose. You see a fellow Bull, three Charlotte Bobcats, and about six of their fans.)

Bill Simmons recently released an impressive column detailing the woeful state of affairs in the NBA from a balance sheet perspective (seriously, it’s a must-read). Obviously, nobody’s going to give him hard numbers; if even 20% of Simmons’ anecdotes and predictions are true, it would be an open call for investors and partners of franchises to flee in terror. But Simmons has enough to forecast a coming dark era for the league, and probably the rest of American sports as well. The, ahem, money quote* is after the jump. Read more…

(Ed. note: The party’s in full swing in Phoenix and SbB correspondent Tuffy reports from a busy Friday night at the NBA All-Star festivities.)

It’s damned near impossible to see it all at the NBA All-Star weekend.  Between the varying levels of privilege (catered All-Star tipoff party projecting the TNT feed onto the side of the Arizona Science Center? Off-limits.  Nash’s party? Riiiight… and so on) and the sheer number of activities, you’d need the whole ShamWow kit to absorb all the action in Phoenix this weekend.

That’s despite a drop in sponsor involvement this year (though don’t tell that to T-Mobile; they’ve got everything from the side of the Bank of America Building to free bike-driven rides to T-Mobile subscribers) and an uneasy feeling that this might be the last weekend Phoenix sees its former prodigal Sun.

And now a few words on HORSE-not-HORSE, Kevin Durant’s rookie hazing, and why 3800 kids ordered the Corbin Bleu last night at the Rookie-Sophomore game…
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Just when you thought society in general was turning the page on institutionalized racism, a prominent member of the Canadian media goes and delivers a cliched racist rant against the NBA.

(Maybe it’s good Sharif Abdur-Rahim got out when he did.)

The aforementioned “media member” is VANCOUVER COURIER columnist Mark Hasiuk, who may or may not still be hung up on the departure of the Grizzlies and the utter debacle that was “Big Country” Reeves. Regardless of his motivation, Hasiuk’s comments about the world’s top professional basketball league are nothing short of inflammatory racist rhetoric, despite Hasiuk taking the slightly unique tact of not blaming hip-hop. The best line? Brace yourself:

” … considering basketball’s influence on black popular culture, the NBA has a responsibility to produce a “positive” product, not the ghetto garbage we see today.”

Well, there’s even more proof of Hasiuk’s limited editorial and argumentative skills after the jump.

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What do Dan Patrick, Chris Myers, and Craig Kilborn all have in common? They were all once leading lights at ESPN, and now are nowhere to be seen in the national media, save the odd playoff game or overcrowded NBC set (as for Kilborn, check Bob Evans’ corner booth at Trader Vic’s.)

In short, all three left ESPN and have since seen their media careers go into decline. At least in my estimation. With the news from Daulerio today that Bill Simmons has quit his ESPN podcast, you wonder if he is about to suffer the same fate. Read more…

The sports business industry’s magazine of record, SPORTSBUSINESS JOURNAL, has a feature today on must-visit sports websites, and I’m happy to report that SbB is prominently featured:

The piece is preceded with this description: “We have our own must-read sports destinations on the Web, and we asked others for their list of hot reads.”

A host of writers and websites are noted, including Yardbarker.com, Bill Simmons, Peter King, Jay Glazer, Mark Cuban and Buster Olney, among others.

So just how in holy hell did we end up invited to that party? Read more…

• Russia’s SPORT EXPRESS hears that Kobe Byrant would be willing to play in Europe, and it would only cost a yearly salary of $40 MILLION DOLLARS! (place pinky at corner of mouth)

• BLACK SPORTS ONLINE bounces along rumors that LeBron, Dwyane and Carmelo had a happy time at a Hong Kong massage parlor.

• As required by Wisconsin state law, Brewers broadcaster Jim Powell weighs in on the Brett Favre situation, and proposes putting #4 right behind Aaron Rodgers on the depth chart.

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY flaunts a photo of some Michigan football players posing with shirts off but helmets on.

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• Inspired by very special “Saved By The Bell” episode, Clay Travis of CBS SPORTS suggest sports bloggers & the mainstream media end their feud once & for all with a quiz bowl showdown.

(Buzz Bissinger & Will Leitch butt heads in a Battle of Brawny Brains! With special guest referee - Mr. Belding! [OK, maybe not.])

• THE 700 LEVEL proudly presents pics of “The People’s Champ” Freddie Mitchell living it up royally among some female subjects.

• Tom Ziller of AOL FANHOUSE is happy to share all the things Doc Rivers did wrong in Game 3.

• HOME RUN DERBY is so bored with the San Francisco Giants, they’d rather spend their time at AT&T Park watching the wind try to tip over a full beer.

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Since I’ve gotten back from shooting the SbB Girls in the Virgin Islands, I’ve gained something approaching 10 lbs. in 10 days. The reason? I’m now eating like the girls did on the trip (25 meals per day). One problem with that: I don’t have a hummingbird metabolism.

(Forget the wings, I’m driving from MIA-to-LAX damn)

Now that I’m looking like Mike Golic post Nutri-System sloppy, I’ve remembered the first rule for losing weight: REMOVE ALL FOOD FROM YOUR RESIDENCE.

(Can I wing a stowaway tho?)

Anything that’s in my house will always get eaten. Yeah, that concept isn’t all that unique. Except when it’s all consumed within 24 hours of purchase.

I’ve decided to try to move to L.A. as soon as possible. Like, now. So I’ll probably be driving from Miami to California beginning as soon as this weekend. That of course, presents a massive problem when you’re trying to watch your figure.

(Sad: My vehicle fuel system yet to account for hot, italian beef injections)

Unlike most of my cross-country jaunts, I won’t be mapquesting all the Chick-Fil-A’s on the route. Nor Whataburgers and Taco Cabanas for the lovely, six-day drive through Texas. Instead, it’ll likely be one stop-off at Cracker Barrel per day.

Ever notice how Cracker Barrel makes you pay at the register? Wonder if that has anything to do with the mountains of crap they want you to buy in the lobby. Not to mention that postmeal 45-lb fudge purchase they try to rope you into while waiting for your credit card receipt.

(MUST RESIST (the shrimp, too))

So I’ll really have to discipline myself while patronizing that interstate-based epicurean delight. Even if it means occupying myself with one of those maddening, golf-tee table games while waiting to sign off on my regrettable chicken dumplings takeout purchase.

I am planning on bringing my handy cam on the road - and posting about my travels (tales from the nickel slots at Louisiana truck stops are always a sure hit).

(Well that certainly brightens up an anonymous interstate exit)

The last time I made the LAX-MIA drive, I had an internet-enabled laptop plugged into the cigarette lighter (extremely safe). I then connected the computer audio to the car stereo and voila - I was listening to Colin Cowherd spin his latest yarn about the Wegmanns’ salad bar while I sped through the backwoods of the Louisiana bayou (look, on the right, Glenn Dorsey’s shanty!).

Maybe the laptop thing isn’t such a good idea this time.

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