Gross/Iconic Coaching Outfits Through The Years

The BOSTON GLOBE reported yesterday that fully half of the gray hooded sweatshirts sold through the NFL are adorned with the Patriots logo, a fairly obvious by-product of Bill Belichick’s “hobo coach” look.

Bill Belichick
(Doesn’t he look sharp? Or homeless?)

It seems strange that such an image-unconscious look has caught on in spite of itself, but we got to thinking: this isn’t a new phenomenon. Through the decades of NFL history, in fact, successful coaches have shaped popular fashion, usually without even trying. Let’s take a look back, shall we?

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Could Big Tuna Bail On ‘Fins After Stellar Season?

While the Detroit Lions have to be the least inspiring story of the NFL season, the most inspiring has to be the turnaround of the Miami Dolphins. Only 1 win accomplished in 2007, the Marine Mammals grabbed 11 “W”s in 2008 - along with the AFC East title. And it can be argued it’s all thanks to the man brought in to right the Dolphins’ ship - Bill Parcells.

Bill Parcells Dolphins

But on the brink of one of the best sports success stories to ever happen, there’s a chance that the Big Tuna may sail for other seas after only one season at the helm.

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About The AFC East … It’s Even More Confusing

Remember when everyone thought the Jets were going to run away with the AFC East after pulling out a gutsy, overtime win in New England? Funny how two disappointing losses in two weeks can change everything. Suddenly, after a shocking 24-14 loss to the woeful 49ers, Brett Favre’s Jets are in a tie atop the AFC East with the Patriots, who rallied just when it looked like they were dead for a 24-21 win in Seattle. Oh, and just to make things more difficult, the Dolphins won, too, which puts all three teams at 8-5, in a dead-even tie at the top.

favre confused

(Don’t ask Brett who’s going to win. He’s got no idea what’s going on.)

Before you get optimistic that the division might work itself out, realize that the Jets, Patriots and Dolphins really could be headed toward a Big 12 South-style finish. The Jets play the Bills and Seahawks — two teams they should beat — before facing off with the Dolphins in the final game of the season. Of course, the Jets should have beaten both the Broncos at home and 49ers on the road, so a loss wouldn’t be shocking. Miami, meanwhile, gets the red-hot 49ers (a potential loss) and the fairly-horrendous Chiefs before the Dolphins and Jets finish the season with each other.

What’s significant about that? Well, if the Jets win the next two weeks and Miami loses once, a Dolphins victory in the season-finale would put the teams level in victorious and in head-to-head matchups; in that scenario, Miami, New England and New York would all be 1-1 against each other.

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I’d Like Two Beef & Cheddars And A Safety Please

As a player in the NFL there isn’t much that’s guaranteed in your career. If you sign that $60 million contract, while you get to keep your signing bonus, your team can cut you at any time and not owe you anything more. Of course, unless you’re an early round draft pick, you don’t get one of those nice signing bonuses.

Take the tale of Courtney Bryan. Courtney came out of New Mexico State last season and went undrafted before signing as a free agent with the Miami Dolphins. He played in 12 games with the team making 11 tackles before being cut by Bill Parcells back in September. He worked out for a few other teams but nobody signed him to a deal because he’d played too much to be able to sneak him onto a practice squad. So when he couldn’t get a contract Courtney decided he’d go back to school and finish getting his degree since he was only 11 credits short. Unfortunately the registration deadline at NMSU had already passed and Bryan couldn’t get back in.

So he did what anybody else would do who couldn’t get a job or go back to school.  He got a job at Arby’s.

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Lawrence Taylor Wants Plaxico To Put Team First

When Lawrence Taylor entered the NFL, he changed the game forever. When teams saw that they were playing the New York Giants, offenses literally had to spend more time in practice figuring out how to keep L.T. from destroying their quarterback than they did actually running plays. When Taylor was on the field, he tore things up, and he wasn’t much different off the field either.

Taylor’s antics away from the game are well known. The parties, the women, the drugs, the hookers sent to opponents hotel rooms — these are the things that helped grow the L.T. legend. Still, no matter what the man did from Tuesday through Saturday when the Giants weren’t playing, he always showed up on game day. Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t find it odd that now Taylor has advice for current Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress.

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Unimpressed With Cassel, Porter Predicts Fins Win

Wait, Joey Porter’s still in the league? Huh, I thought he had retired, or been abducted by aliens or some such because he’s been keeping a low profile since the Steelers released him following the 2006 season.

Joey Porter

That might have everything to do with his new team, the Miami Dolphins, and their jaw-droppingly awful 1-15 record last year. Such futility quiets even the loudest trash talkers, and apparently, that’s exactly what has happened to J. Peezy. Until now, anyhow. With Tom Brady done for the year, Porter is seizing on what he perceives is a golden opportunity for the Dolphins to turn things around. Yep, he’s smacking his gums about Matt Cassel, and even hints at a Miami victory this weekend.

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Miami’s Pro Athletes Lead A Perk-Filled Existence

People get into sports for any number of reasons: they’re not qualified for much else, they want to buy their mama a house, they love groupies, and, obviously, they’re unbelievably athletic. If you live in South Florida and happen to play for one of the professional sports franchises, you get more than the boilerplate stuff mentioned above.

Dwyane Wade

According to the MIAMI HERALD’s Barry Jackson, the perks are seemingly limitless.

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Pennington to Dolphins, Will Face Jets In Week 1

Chad Pennington, recently run out of New York to make way for Brett Favre and his ego, has signed with the AFC East rival Dolphins. He spent last season sharing the quarterback duties with Kellen Clemens, and the two were battling for the starting gig during the first week of training camp.

Chad Pennington headed to Miami

Then Favre happened, the City went into a frenzy, and Pennington was unceremoniously dismissed. And although the former Marshall star is now part of a franchise that won a whopping one game last season, he has two things going for him.

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Taylor Dancing His Way to DC, Traded to Redskins

Jason Taylor won’t be Bill Parcells’ headache anymore (and vice versa), as the Dolphins defensive Dancing star has been traded to the Redskins.

Jason Taylor Dancing With The Stars

(Taylor’s getting a different view next season)

Jason La Canfora of the WASHINGTON POST reports the deal was sealed on Sunday. And if you believe Redskins VP of Football Operations Vinny Cerrato, it was all done faster than a foxtrot with Edyta Silwinska.

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Dolphins Kicker Feely Feeling the Taylor Treatment

Dolphins management doesn’t want to go through another Jason Taylor fiasco, so Bill Parcells & Jeff Ireland are informing their players to keep their minds on football and their mouths closed.

And which brash, celebrity-minded Miami roster-seeker is the biggest cause of Bill & Jeff’s concern?

Jay Feely Dolphins kicker

Would you believe kicker Jay Feely?

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