In sports news that reminds us fondly of the 1980s, the naughty tapes have finally arrived that we ordered months ago and we’ve already started leaking with excitement.
Matt Walsh, itinerant golf pro and former employee-of-some-sort for the New England Patriots, delivered eight tapes to the NFL that reveal… well, try to hold yourself back… play-calling recorded by the team and deftly edited with the game action. You know, just like happened before. Somehow, detailed descriptions of these tapes ended up in the NEW YORK TIMES’ lap.
(”But how did the blogger get up on the grassy knoll? It’s outside. Bloggers don’t go outside!”)
Then, somehow yet again, Walsh’s lawyer found time to answer the TIMES’ questions about the matter and explained that there was no St. Louis Rams walkthrough tape from the 2002 Super Bowl and that Walsh never told the BOSTON HERALD about that. (Just when we thought that Rams fan lawsuit had legs.)
Then, in yet another shocking yet well-timed turn of events, NFL spokesperson Greg Aiello told the AP that “… this is consistent with what the Patriots had admitted they had been doing, consistent with what we already knew.”
Nothing to see here, kids! It’s all solved! The adults already talked about this and it’s taken care of. Go on back to your video games and your rock and roll.
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Determined to win something decisively this year, New England Patriots lawyers continue to press for the trademarks to “19-0″ and “19-0 The Perfect Season” so they can place the trademark on such items as golf balls, Christmas tree ornaments, jigsaw puzzles, and “toy and decorative windsocks”.
(Ho ho ho! 19 and oh!™)
So we’ve learned two facts today: The Patriots knows no boundaries and there is such a thing as a toy windsock. Perhaps Bill Belichick never received one from dad Steve as a kid and continues to vent his anger on society today for that perceived slight. Why didn’t you buy him the toy windsock, Steve? He wasn’t going to shoot his eye out with it!
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• YOU BEEN BLINDED tunes in to see the gang at “South Park” taking a run at Bill Belichick.
• THREE STRIKES AND OUT wants to invoke the Patriot Act, as an American basketball player will suit up for the Russian women’s Olympic team.
• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY has found the perfect halftime entertainment for next year’s gridiron games in Tuscaloosa.
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In the Men’s bracket, everywhere you look, some team is seizing the opportunity to come from behind. Surely Bill Belichick, inspired by Florida’s showing at the NIT last night, took note of some of the action on the court as well.
(image courtesy of DEADSPIN, via TMZ)
Tenth-seeded Davidson shocked Georgetown this afternoon. The Hoyas were one of the teams that appeared in that new Jordan brand ad. No Cinderellas? The Wildcats beg to differ.
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• BUSTED COVERAGE is in a snit, as Erin Andrews admits she sometimes gets zits.
• THE LEGEND OF CECILIO GUANTE sees a bright future for Notre Dame’s Luke Harangody - as the second coming of “Big Country” Bryant Reeves.
• SIGNAL TO NOISE finds Bill Belichick bidding adieu to his greatest creation - Troy Brown.
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What delicious irony: The NEW YORK POST’s PAGE SIX sneaks out word that a Manhattan restaurant has been secretly videotaping its customers - such as New England QB Tom Brady.
The Chinese eatery Philippe admits they have cameras installed in their private rooms. But they say the filming’s for security purposes, as a to keep an eye on the expensive wine bottles stored in the rooms.
But one insider told Page Six that after some of the privates parties, restaurant employees would view the footage, and they weren’t just monitoring the Merlots: Read more…
The ongoing cavalcade of “gotcha!” Patriots stories are pushing forth into the off-season, with the latest revelation from the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS that four years ago Herm Edwards and Donnie Henderson, then with the Jets, waved at a camera they knew to be recording their sideline by the Patriots.
(Woooooo! Who loves ya, camera?)
Did you read? How are you still sitting down? If you’re standing up, how have your eyes not been sucked from their sockets? Have the five lobes of your collapsed on one another? Mine hav…ughhhscksck
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The BOSTON HERALD reports all-around dishy New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick will appear on the cover of the March/April issue of Boston Spirit, the “city’s premier gay mag.”
There won’t be any Annie Leibowitz pictorials of His Mumbleness and that super hot visor he’s rocking there. In fact, the picture is just to draw readers to a story speculating whether the fans in the city would support a professional athlete who came out of the closet. Read more…
