Not Shown: Matt Stafford’s SpongeBob Flip-Flops

Let’s see: Hat on sideways? Check. Shorts in Detroit Lions colors? Check. Buxom, flag-waving, boozing bikini chicks? Yes. Sunglasses from the Ray Ban Casual Douche collection? Affirmative. Say hello to Matthew Stafford, who looks like he’s having fun in a Jethro-Bodine-way-out-of-his-league-at-the-ceeement-pond kind of way.

Matt Stafford & friends

Sadly, as the Lions schedule indicates, this was probably Stafford’s last opportunity to parade around shirtless. A turtleneck will hide the scars and bruises, Matthew, but it will never conceal the shame. Wait a minute … now I think I know where I’ve seen those sunglasses before! …

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