Big Ten Scorekeepers Take Pity On EMU Eagles

Look, it’s pretty obvious that the Northwestern Wildcats will probably end up doing bad, bad things to the woeful Eastern Michigan Eagles today. It’s a matchup borne out of money and a desire for an easy win. You know it, I know it, both teams probably know it. No, Northwestern isn’t exactly national championship material, but they’re a respectable Big Ten team (oxymoron?) and Eastern Michigan is, well, Eastern Michigan.

Northwestern-Eastern Michigan Score Big Ten Network

But that doesn’t mean EMU deserves to be spotted 3 points at the beginning of the game, does it? Apparently, the Big Ten Network has taken pity on the Eagles and rewarded them with a phantom field goal to start the game. How kind of them. Is that even legal? Why the hell am I watching the Big Ten Network, anyway?  These are the questions we’re pondering so far as Week Two of college football kicks off. What’s on your mind?

The Big Ten Network Just Got A Lot Awesomer

Awesomer is a word. I don’t care if dictionaries are too good for it, it’s a word, and today, it describes the Big Ten Network quite perfectly.

Genuflect Before Gus Johnson

That’s because the BTN just announced that it is adding Gus Johnson to the college basketball team, instantly transforming a shoddy, low-rent organization into the best in the business. Gus Johnson is that good, and if you don’t believe me, A) you’re an idiot, and B) conclusive video evidence is after the jump. Read more…

Jim Delany Likes Him Some Tennis Ball Implants

Big 10 Commissioner and staunch BCS proponent Jim Delany sure does know how to get his cable network cleared people to watch his Big 10 Network: Hire hotties masquerading as reporters. (Apparently Northwestern Water Polo wasn’t enough to move Delany’s needle.)

Melanie Collins Jim Delaney Big Ten Network

In the past year, Delany’s BTN has hired huge-boobed blonde Ashley Russell, adult film star Charissa Thompson and now an internet bikini model named Melanie Collins. (Noticing a trend? If not, I apologize for pointing this out.) Read more…

Rose Bowl Thrashing Not Reality Enough For Zook

U of Illinois head football coach Ron Zook is an absolutely dogged recruiter and coming off a top season for the program, complete with Rose Bowl appearance as the sacrificial lamb to USC and Pete Carroll.

So, what is he doing for a follow-up with this new-found attention on what used to be a floundering program? He and his football team will be part of a season of reality TV on the BIG TEN NETWORK.

Ron Zook, waterskiing

The CHICAGO TRIBUNE’s Teddy Greenstein says “Illinois Football: The Journey” will be a 10-13 episode series airing on the conference’s cable channel, which has had some difficulty getting off the ground and into homes.

Read more…

Comcast and Big Ten Network Finally Get Along?

Apparently, Comcast may be close to finally ending their deep and sadistic hatred of young men and women merely trying to get an education through the noble pursuit of athletic excellence. Also, it seems that the Big Ten could soon stop abusing their young wards by cruelly trying to turn their efforts into wads of cash to be spent wildly by heartless university officials.

Does Big Ten Network heart Comcast?

(If you like me, check this box. And this one. And sign here.)

All of this might happen, that is, if SPORTSBUSINESS JOURNAL accurately gauges the possibility that both sides will reach an agreement soon on carriage costs for Comcast to carry the Big Ten Network, ending the hopelessly overheated public rhetoric and underhanded tactics.
Read more…

Wisconsin Football Shown On Big Screen For Fans Who Dont Have Big Ten Network

BADGERS HIT THE BIG SCREEN FOR BIG TEN NETWORK-LESS: Wisconsin fans frozen out by their cable company went to the local theater to catch some football this weekend:

Wisconsin football at movie theater

WISN-TV in Milwaukee reports how some Badgers backers hit the big screen to see their team in action.Last Saturday’s game against Ohio State was on the Big Ten Network, a channel most Wisconsinites don’t have on their basic cable package.

Lawmakers in Madison are furiously holding meetings to examine the possibility of creating committees to take action against this situation.

Wisconsin popcorn tin

But for fans who couldn’t wait that long, the Majestic Theater in Brookfield offered an alternative - broadcasting the BTN on their screens. Best of all, admission was free.It was so similar to a Camp Randall night game, you would’ve expected to find a few goobers doin’ it in the theater restrooms.

Ohio State Wisconsin football

But Badgers fans may want their money back anyway, as Wisconsin was battered by the Buckeyes, 38-17.

Wisconsin Lawmakers Working To Lift Blackouts on Packers and Badgers Games

WISC. LAWMAKERS SEEING RED OVER PACKER BLACKOUTS: If there’s one thing that can bring a divided government together, it’s the passion over the Green Bay Packers:

Brett Favre Wisconsin Capitol

The MADISON (WI) CAPTIAL TIMES reports that a couple of Wisconsin lawmakers - one Democrat, one Republican - are crossing party lines to help solve the problem of Packers blackouts on TV.The resolution also wants to insure that U of Wisconsin games can be viewed by the folks of the Badger State.

This Saturday, the Badgers face Ohio State in a match-up shown by the Big Ten Network. However, large cable providers in the state like Charter don’t carry the channel. (Yet, smaller providers like the Mt. Horeb Telephone Company do.)

The proposed bill would also affect the NFL Network, in the event Brett Favre & pals find themselves under Rich Eisen’s watchful eye.

Green Bay Packers town parade

Co-sponsoring senator Dave Hansen knows any legislation would be popularly passed: “Love of the Packers and Badgers is a common bond that unites our diverse state and brings families and friends together.”How touching.