Boom Goes The Oscars; A Very Perverted Coach

• And the Oscar goes to … Will Smith, for “Boom Goes The Dynamite!”

Boom Goes The Dynamite guy Will Smith

• An Oregon basketball coach has sex with underage girls, then waits until the statute of limitations runs out before admitting to it. You stay classy, Howard Avery!

• So much for skimming off of MLB prospects’ contracts to fund gay clubs.

• A Moroccan woman overcomes homelessness, an arranged marriage and a maternal beatdown to win in her MMA debut.

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SbB Clever Caption Contest: LeBron Has A Laugh

Hey readers! Time for another Oscar-worthy SbB Clever Caption Contest!

Today we take a look at the Cavs’ bench, as LeBron James laughs it up, Ben Wallace tries to hold it in, and Anderson Varejao stares into space:

Cavaliers bench LeBron James Ben Wallace Anderson Varejao

What’s giving King James & Big Ben the giggles? Submit your suggestions into the comments section linked below. Winner will be announced in the end-of-the-day recap, and be treated to a special dinner with Zydrunas Ilgauskas at the Cleveland-area Lithuanian restaurant of his choice.

Good luck & good writing! Bet you can already taste that kugelis!

Blog-A-Roni: Sharapova Fooled By Mosquito Nets

ON THE BASELINE serves up word that Maria Sharapova’s promise of a new tennis facility may have been the victim of a Vietnamese joke.

Maria Sharapova shorts smile

ESPN’s HASHMARKS knows of one NFL combine combatant not afraid to get his Kenny Chesney on.

PRO FOOTBALL TALK hikes over word that the Saints have made an offer to Zach Thomas.

JOE SPORTS FAN needs a friend, as Kelvin Sampson is pretty unpopular with Facebook users.

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Help Us Understand Why Cavs Want Ben Wallace

With the NBA trade deadline approaching, ESPN.com’s Marc Stein reports this afternoon that the Cavs, Sonics and Bulls are league approval away from consumating a multiplayer trade that would bring the player with the NBA’s worst contract, Ben Wallace, to Cleveland.

Ben Wallace

Cavs get: Wallace, Sonic Wally Szczerbiak, Seattle point guard Delonte West, Chicago’s Joe Smith and a future second-round pick from the Bulls.

Bulls get: Cavaliers forward Drew Gooden and swingman Larry Hughes along with Cavs reserves Cedric Simmons and Shannon Brown.

Sonics get: nothing (expiring contracts of Cleveland’s Ira Newble and Chicago’s Adrian Griffin as well as Cavs veteran Donyell Marshall).

On the bright side, Dan Gilbert will soon have lots of fun firing up that Quicken software to do Big Ben’s taxes .

Aaron Gray Not Shy About Louis Vuitton Penchant

Noce of CHICAGO BULL passes along a letter sent out today by the Chicago Bulls to season ticket holders that was supposedly written by Bulls player Aaron Gray.

Aaron Gray Chicago Bulls

It was, no doubt, a public relations masterstroke by the club. Gray’s mention in the letter of buying a Louis Vuitton bag for his mother must ease the minds of the Bulls fans who doled out thousands in ticket money this season, only to witness the most hideously underachieving team in the league.

And Gray also confirms what we’ve always known: Ben Wallace is a great guy! Read more…

Ben Wallace Asks Why Is He in Chicago

• HOOPS WORLD hears the anguished cries of the Chicago Bulls’ Ben Wallace: “Why am I here?”

Ben Wallace

• Besides the holder of the last home run ball, Darren Rovell of CNBC finds another group hoping to profit from the Barry Bonds brewhaha - the makers of flaxseed oil.• The SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE gets out the Metamucil, as Sunday’s Packers-Panthers matchup will feature 82 years of QB experience.

• The NEW YORK POST’s PAGE SIX has hot news that the Romo-antic is on the prowl again:

Tony Romo bench smile

• MONEY PLAYERS signs off on college athletes’ letters of intent.• ALL BALLS is raring to go, after listening to these top 10 sports movie speeches.

Sacramento Kings Rumored to be Part of Kobe Bulls Trade

SAC KINGS ABDICATED FROM POSSIBLE KOBE-BULLS DEAL?: The ongoing saga of Kobe coming to Chicago has been given a little Sacramento flavor:

Kobe Bryant Kirk Hinrich Ron Artest

SACTOWN ROYALTY decrees that the latest trade rumors involve the Kings in a three-way deal with the Lakers and Bulls.As compiled from various sources, the deal would have Bryant being Bulls-bound, with current Chicagoan Kirk Hinrich and current King Ron Artest joining the Lake Show, while Ben Gordon and Ben Wallace would venture to Arco Arena - in addition to a cast of thousands on the possible move.

Right now, all of this is speculation, as Kobe continues to unhappily twist in the Santa Ana wind. After the rude reception the Lakers star received Tuesday night, he probably can’t get out of town and out under Jerry Buss’ thumb soon enough.

Yahoo Sports Los Angeles Kings NBA

And if Sacramento won’t cooperate, they can always try asking the Los Angeles Kings.