• Danica Patrick’s lower back tattoo: Now you see it, now you don’t.

• Speaking of SI, one long-time contributor isn’t a big fan of their latest swimsuit model selections, calling them “creepy” and “alien-ish“. On the other hand, they can sure sell Big Nut Bars.

• Kentucky basketball coach Billy Gillispie tried to get jiggy with ESPN reporter Jeannine Edwards.

• A British beauty has been banned from boxing because of her breast implants.

Read more…

Hey, readers! It’s time for another superlative SbB Clever Caption Contest!

Today we catch UCLA b-ball coach Ben Howland making a few points:

Alright, so how else would you describe this Pauley Pavilion pose? Submit your suggestions into the comments section linked below. Winner will be announced in the end-of-the-day recap & be christened the new Wizard of Westwood! (OK, maybe not.)

Good luck and good writing!

The last time we say the Cardinals take on the 49ers on Monday Night Football was Opening Night of last season, and the result was a 20-17 loss that set the tone for a disappointing 2007 season for Arizona. Flash forward one year and change, and the Cardinals were able to take out the 49ers 29-24 on the strength of a last second goal line stand.

Quite a difference one season can make, right? Instead of Matt Leinart looking confused under center, you had Kurt Warner, looking for all the world like an MVP. And at the end of the day, Arizona is 6-3, and a full four games ahead of their nearest NFC West rivals.

But really, if you are a Cardinals fan, do you feel any better about the team after last night’s game than you did before? To quote an ex-coach, the 49ers were who we thought they were: a mediocre team with nothing to lose. Great teams put teams like that away early. Good teams let them hang around until the 4th quarter before pulling away. The Cardinals rely on a stop as time expires at the goal line after a questionable “down by contact” ruling.

Perhaps this says less about the Cardinals than it does about the overall awful nature of the NFC West?

In other sports news that happened while you were looking to unload your extra Inauguration tickets:

• The CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER passes along the helpful tip that you should try not to get pulled over with the following items: a marijuana pipe on the front seat and prescription drugs, marijuana, cocaine and a loaded Smith & Wesson 40 Caliber pistol. Just ask former Ohio State lineman T.J. Downing.
• The Rays’ Evan Longoria is your unanimous AL Rookie of the Year, while Geovany Soto of the Cubs takes the NL honors with 21 or 32 first-place votes. I’m still not sure why Joey Votto’s mom was able to get a vote.
• That Matt Holliday to the A’s story? The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE says it’s looking more and more like a done deal.
• It was a good night to be a Phoenix sports fan: the EAST VALLEY TRIBUNE reports that the Suns topped the Grizzles 107-102 despite a career-high 33 points from OJ Mayo.
• Flashing a bunch of cheerleaders from a Catholic high school? In the world of Cinemax movies it might lead to steamy misadventures, but THE EAGLE-TRIBUNE says that it could add up to jail time for a Massachusetts driver.
• The YORK DAILY RECORD says that an Australian cycling coach has been freed after spending four months in jail for rape after his 15-year-old accuser recanted her story.
• The SEATLLE TIMES has the list of the seven finalists for the Seattle Mariners’ manager position, none of whom have experience as a field boss. The surprise name? Niles Crane.
• As the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS notes, the Jets are set to add Ty Law to their secondary ahead of their clash with his former team the New England Patriots. Which I’m sure is all a huge coincidence. Wink wink.
• Wait, the red line on TV might not actually be the line of scrimmage? Thanks, NEW YORK TIMES, why not just tell my kid that Santa Claus isn’t real?
• The RIVERSIDE PRESS-ENTERPRISE reports that UCLA head basketball coach Ben Howland is taking a tough line in disciplining forward Nikola Dragovic after he was arrested for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend: he may or may not play in the Bruins’ opener. Just what John Wooden would advocate, I’m sure.

Do you, like millions of fans, enjoy the 3-point shot? You can credit the three for high-scoring games, quick momentum swings, incredible late-game comebacks and thrilling buzzer beaters. Well too bad. Because there’s going to be an awful lot less of them in college basketball this year.

(Get ready for an awful lot of this.)

The NCAA made the rule change last May, moving the three-point-line back a foot to 20 feet, 9 inches. But the repercussions are only now being felt, as teams begin practicing. “I say, ‘OK, shoot 3s,’” said Washington State coach Tony Bennett, “and a large percentage of guys have their foot on the line.” Hope you like 58-56 basketball games.

Read more…

The LOS ANGELES TIMES reports this morning that frosh center and muse for aged sportswriters Kevin Love has told UCLA coach Ben Howland he will enter the NBA draft. Also, Darren Collison has done the same. Both will supposedly announce their intentions after a Wednesday afternoon UCLA press conference led by Howland.

(UCLA players, please exit in a calm and orderly fashion
before Yul Brynner gets here)

However, THE DAILY BREEZE spoke to Kevin Love’s mother and Collison, both of whom emphatically denied the TIMES report in great detail.

And let the merry-go-round begin!

Read more…

• DEADSPIN via WALKOFF WALK discovers that some Brewers fans are a whiz at making a profit from port-a-potty problems.

Such are the results when you imbibe in a 12-man beer bong.

• The HARTFORD COURANT pitches out the top 50 MLB salaries, and you’ll never guess which team claims the top 3 spots. (OK, you will.)

• Speaking of salaries, BLOOMBERG notes that if Kansas beats Memphis tonight, Jayhawks coach Bill Self will be $200,000 richer.

Read more…

HOWLAND SCRATCHES UCLA ITCH WITH NEW 7-YEAR DEAL: Ben Howland will be sticking around Westwood for a while, as the UCLA basketball coach just signed a new 7-year deal with the Pac-10 power:

The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that Howland’s contract starts out at $1.5 million for the 2007-08 season, and can increase to $2 million by the final year. The new deal also includes an incentives package that can bring an additional $235,000 into the pockets of the Pauley Pavilion purveyor.

Howland has coached the Bruins to back-to-back Final Four appearances the last two seasons. And he seems content to stay where he’s at: “This has always been my dream job. I grew up a Bruin basketball fan and it still is hard for me to believe that I am the caretaker of the program that Coach (John) Wooden built.”

“STREET BALL” AND NO DEFENSE GREET O.J. MAYO AT USC: The LOS ANGELES TIMES reports on the first practice of O.J. Mayo with the USC Trojans basketball team (as does the LADN) - and to no one’s surprise, Coach Tim Floyd is doing his best to downplay expectations of his one-and-done swingman: “He’s like every other freshman. He’s got to learn what we’re doing right now, and as he gets more confident in the system of play and in what we’re doing.”

We think Floyd has done much to revive the moribund USC program but in head-to-head matchups with Ben Howland at UCLA, he was clearly outcoached. And to us he can only take a team so far with his Guy Lewis-esque approach.

An example of that approach was his ridiculous practice plan for the team yesterday, which he detailed to the press: “Floyd said he commenced the practice with about eight minutes of ’street ball’ to learn players’ tendencies and spent the remainder of the 2-hour-20-minute session emphasizing offensive skills. The coach said he might not implement any defensive schemes until the team begins practicing for the season Oct. 12.”

Street ball and no defense? Hello Round of 32!

In other USC-related news, former USC running back Emmanuel Moody revealed yesterday he is transferring to Florida. Urban Meyer confirmed the news, albeit accidently, on the same day.

WHY PREPARING FOR SPECIAL SITUATIONS IS A GOOD IDEA: Sometimes life just isn’t fair. UCLA enters the Pac-10 basketball tournament today as the top seed, and is a favorite to garner a similar position in the NCAA tournament.

Meanwhile, 112 miles north of Staples Center at the ass-end of the San Joaquin Valley, the last man to coach the Bruins to a national title, Jim Harrick, is coaching the NBDL Bakersfield Jam to a dead-last finish (it’s gotten so ugly that the NBDL bogarted the Jam’s team stats page).

Guess the coach didn’t take his own advice.

As a Univ. of Georgia alumnus, I can’t tell you how through-the-roof ecstatic melancholy this makes me.

WHAT PLANET IS HE FROM? It’s not Bruins coach Ben Howland, but actor John Lithgow, who seems exuberant in the fact that UCLA is finishing off a win over rival USC in a basketball game at Pauley Pavilion on Wednesday.

The real connection for the Harvard grad who once shared a dorm room with Al Gore and Tommy Lee Jones is that his current wife, Mary Yeager, is a faculty member of the history department.

And, apparently, Lithgow is also part of some UCLA trivia, far too trivial for even us to note here.