Cream Cheese Causes Coach To Cancel Twittering

• Who would have though cream cheese on bagels would be the downfall of George Mason coach Jim Larranaga’s Twittering career?

Jim Larranaga George Mason cream cheese bagel

(”Go away! You’ve caused me enough trouble!”)

• Broncos fans boo Jay Culter on his return to Denver. And the way Kyle Orton has been playing, expect a lot more booing from Mile High this year.

• But there’s plenty of cheering at NBC, where Sunday’s Broncos-Bears matchup netted the highest ratings for a preseason game in five years.

• Holy subterranean living! Indiana Pacers forward Danny Granger is building himself a batcave down in New Mexico.

• A Louisville-area high school football coach is facing homicide charges after one of his players collapsed & died during practice.

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Danny Granger Building A Batcave In New Mexico

When I was a kid (read: last year), I used to create elaborate forts in my parents’ living room out of blankets, pillows, bookcases, and chairs. Once, I somehow managed to create a two-story, multi-roomed palace with a cardboard front gate that consumed the entire living room and connected with the kitchen door. It was the pinnacle, and the end, of my career in structural engineering. I mean, when you’ve got YOUR OWN CARDBOARD FRONT GATE for crying out loud, what more can you do to top it? So I retired from the fort-building business forever.

Danny Granger Batcave

Little did I know then, as I folded up the blankets and reassembled the dining room table, that it didn’t have to end that way. I could have persevered and gone on to accomplish ever more ludicrous fort-like structures. If only I had devoted myself to basketball, gone to the University of New Mexico, and gotten drafted by the Indiana Pacers, my love of fantastical forts and secret passages could have been indulged. Danny Granger did persevere and did choose that path, and that’s why he’s now got a Batcave. Yes, we’ll repeat that: Danny Granger has a Batcave in New Mexico.

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