When we recently read that Scottie Pippen wanted to coach the Chicago Bulls, we were skeptical. Now we’re very dubious about his demand, considering his assessment of the team in the CHICAGO TRIBUNE today.

On Tyrus Thomas: “He dribbles better with his left hand than his right. He must have broken his arm when he was a kid. He shouldn’t be dribbling. He should be a fetcher. He’s athletic, but he doesn’t know how to play the game. He’s great from the neck down. What can he do? Have him do that.”

On Kirk Hinrich: “You can’t have midgets running your backcourt.”

On Andre Nocioni: “He’s turning into Rasheed Wallace with the kinds of things he does on floor. It makes the officials turn on the whole team.”

Should we go on? Safe to say that Pippen must have absolutely no actual interest in the coaching job, considering he justed torched any potential relationships he would’ve had with the players he’d be coaching.

After giving Scott Skiles the heave-ho, the Chicago Bulls will be looking for a new full-time coach. And Scottie Pippen thinks he’s the right man for the job.

The CHICAGO TRIBUNE catches up with the former Michael Jordan running buddy, and hears his aspirations for a head coaching gig.

Pippen scoffs at claims that he lacks experience to be a head coach, saying, “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to do what you’ve done your whole life. I’ve played basketball, run teams and won.”

Read more…

Here’s video of former Laker great Norm Nixon playing Horse with current Laker Jordan Farmar:

Somehow, neither player seems to miss any of an awe-inspiring assortment of trick shots. Farmer eventually impeaches Nixon with a behind-the-head, behind-the-backboard heave.

The last time we saw so many made shots in a row, we were watching the Florida Gators against UCLA two years ago in the NCAA finals.

You probably know by now that Barack Obama played a little hoop in high school (make that very little, he was benchwarmer for his school’s team in Hawaii). So S.L. Price of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED recently challenged Obama to a game of one-on-one.

The account, much like the presidential race, isn’t exactly enthralling, but Obama, who sported a nike-logoed shirt (is there anyone they haven’t signed?), did have one interesting thing to say.

Upon being hacked by Price, Obama said, “Believe me … you can get shot for doing that.” He was joking. We think.

Obama trying to play basketball is a bit of a stretch for us. We think the more authentic hoops article is pant-suited Hillary Clinton, who by her dress tells us should would’ve had quite a career coaching women’s college basketball:

It wouldn’t be Christmas without some gifted words from Bobby Knight:

The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that the Texas Tech coach was reprimanded by the Big 12 Conference for comments he made about the officiating in a Dec. 15 game against New Mexico.

During the 80-63 loss, Knight didn’t think the Lobos’ 47-foot shot before the half should’ve counted, claiming that the ball wasn’t released in time. When asked about the basket after the game, Bobby replied, “I thought it was a horrendous call.”

Knight also fumed about a Red Raiders’ 3-pointer nullified by a charging foul, calling the call “horrible.”

Apparently, such opinions violate the Big 12’s sportsmanship code, which prohibits public comments being made about officiating.

We’re shocked at such an outburst. Bobby has always been such a calm, cool, collected coach.

It must have been the bad influence of a fellow Lubbock laborer.

Jason Williams doesn’t like the trade rumors swirling around his team - especially the rumors concerning himself:

The Miami Heat guard tells the SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL he might as well hit the streets, since he feels like he’s working them: “We’re like some high-paid prostitutes anyway in this league. They just use and get rid of us whenever they want. ”

Williams is in the final year of his contract, worth about $8.9 million this season. However, we don’t know many call girls that can pull in such an amount for their services.

Um…that is, if we ever actually dealt with such ladies of the evening.

The Blazers are one of the feel-good stories of the NBA season, and with Greg Oden making remarkable progress in rehabbing his vivisectioned knee, some are hoping that he can soon give up his beer pong exploits and get back on the court - perhaps even as soon as this season.

The PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER reports then when asked about Greg Oden’s rehab, Blazers general manager Kevin Pritchard said this week “He’s so far ahead of what we expected it’s not even funny. Having said that, he will not. Come. Back. This. Year.”

If you believe that, Jim Tressel has a private plane to sell you, now with lower miles than ever.

The NEW YORK POST breathlessly reports that Kobe Bryant revealed Saturday that the Knicks were one of four teams he told the Lakers he wanted to be traded to. The others: Mavericks, Bulls and Suns. Of course, Bryant made plenty of overt overtures about wanting to leave L.A. in the wake of the Lakers’ latest stumbles. But with the club 9-4 in its last 13 and Andrew Bynum emerging as a potential dominant NBA big man, suddenly Bryant doesn’t seem so intent on dialing Atlas Van Lines.

The Lakers play the Knicks today at MSG, so the Manhattan media had to get Kobe to say something that would defuse what will likely be another Isiah-led stinkbomb, and the Lakers’ sitting attention whore superstar gave them what they wanted. But while Bryant may have feigned that he’s still considering a trade-deadline departure, it’s becoming clearer by the day that, providing Bynum doesn’t break down (like last season), Bryant’s wave of demands has significantly receded.