Secretariat Lookalikes Line Up For Stardom, Hay

Forget that Michael Jackson movie; what I want to know is who is going to play Secretariat in the upcoming Walt Disney film on the horse’s life. They need five lookalikes to play the title role, and they have four; with the fifth lucky leading man to be chosen from a group of unknowns at The Secretariat Festival at the Bourbon County Fairgrounds on Saturday.

Secretariat

Yes, it’s a Hollywood cattle call for horses. A Secretariat lookalike contest between 20 hopeful horses will determine the winner, and it’s my opinion that they could have very easily made this into a reality series where the winner also gets to marry Flavor Flav.

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Dungy Decides To Depart From Coaching the Colts

Tony Dungy calls it a coaching career by cutting cords with the Colts.

Tony Dungy dunked

• After an early playoff exit, the New York Giants would consider bringing back Plaxico Burress.

• Was it really that cold in Charlotte & East Rutherford this weekend?

• Broncos hire a Patriots coordinator as their new head coach. And we know how well that’s worked out for the Browns & Notre Dame.

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Barbaro’s Slow Little Bro Is Now Ready To Go Pro

Imagine if Jesus had a brother. What would the pressure be like on him? Never mind his Jewish mother always asking why he couldn’t be more like his brother, he’d have the expectations of the world on his shoulders. Anything short of being the Messiah would make his life and career seem insignificant by comparison. That’s the burden carried by Nicanor, the brother of Barbaro, who also died for our sins.

Nicanor

(Admit it, this could be any horse and you’d have no idea.)

You may remember Barbaro, who won one freaking race, thereby becoming the most important horse ever. His full brother Nicanor, a late bloomer, is going to run his first race in a few weeks, and already has the NEW YORK TIMES tracking his every step gallop. Unfortunately his trainer says “he needed some time to grow up mentally,” making him seem more Raymond Babbitt than Henri Richard.

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Blog-O-Rama: But Did They Interview The Horse?

  • READERS DIGEST has the Barbaro piece you may or may not have been waiting all winter to read.

Barbaro Screen Saver

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Blog-A-Roni: Kirk Herbstreit’s House Can Be Yours

• EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY makes an offer, as Kirk Herbstreit’s house is for sale.

Kirk Herbstreit cheerleaders

• YAHOO SPORTS’ Kelly Dwyer passes along this fun list of NBA bench warmers who have more bling than Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley & Karl Malone combined.

• DEADSPIN is quite relieved that the WNBA won’t be going on strike.

• SPORTS COLUMN gets over the hump with a camel who’s better at picking NFL games than Mike Golic.

Mike Golic Camel

• Speaking of predictions, ARMCHAIR GM determines how the Super Bowl will be played out - through the magic of Tecmo Bowl.

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Blog-O-Rama: “Mike Tyson’s Knockout” On Stage

• FAN IQ punches up this amusing video of “Mike Tyson’s Knockout” - the Off-Broadway version:

• SIGNAL TO NOISE documents the latest drama at Staples Center - and it has nothing to do with Kobe.

• HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS serves up this fun quiz - tennis player, vodka brand, or Bond villain?

• DEADSPIN horses around with news that Central Park will be putting up a statue of Barbaro - upside down.

Barbaro Upside Down

• The LADIES… pass the bean dip, as they present ‘How Not To Throw A Super Bowl Party‘.

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