Eric Moulds Will Sign Your Face With His Fists

Take note, autograph seekers: If you see ex-Bills wide receiver Eric Moulds hanging out, just minding his own business in a bar, and think it’s appropriate to ask him for an autograph, it is not. He will punch you in the face. Especially if you’re an Iraq War veteran. Ooh boy, this story’s got just about everything.

Eric Moulds

Police in Buffalo are investigating an incident from early Friday morning involving one of those fantastic Nor’easter barfights that put the rest of the nation to shame. Apparently, Moulds was out reminiscing about the olden days with current Bill Josh Reed when a man approached him in order to tell him how great he was and, you know, maybe just get a small signature of his as a memento. Moulds, meanwhile, just wanted to be left alone. And here is where the conflict began.

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Padres’ Bush Can’t Stay Away From Basebrawls

Is there any way we can pass a law that takes half the money professional athletes picked in the first round earn and hide in escrow for a few years until they prove their complete worth and/or don’t become irreparably harmful to society? Yeah, probably not.

Matt Bush

But sometimes it seems like a good idea. Like with Matt Bush, who not only has zero business getting first overall pick money from the San Diego Padres (they passed on Justin Verlander among many others), but who cannot seem to stay away from fights. The SAN DIEGO UNION TRIBUNE punches up his latest bit of trouble and it may involve him getting hurt … but it might not be his fault!

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Mens Health Not Keeping Its Readers Very Healthy

BLOG OF HILARITY finds some of the “useful stuff” that’s touted in the latest issue of MENS HEALTH:

Matt Serra Mens Health Bar Fight

UFC welterweight champ Matt Serra advises readers on how to win a bar fight. Hey, if it helps deal with these guys, then we’re all for it.