How To Not Lose Millions, As So Many Athletes Do

Have you ever wondered how so many athletes go broke after retirement so often? After all, Latrell Sprewell and Antoine Walker were both worth over $100 million, and yet within five years of retirement, each was essentially bankrupt. How, you might wonder?

Lenny Dykstra
(Hey, finally some expert advice Lenny Dykstra would be qualified to give!)

Fortunately, the BUSINESS INSIDER published a handy 11-point list on how to accomplish exactly that. The list is full of the usual suspects: bad investments, families magically growing exponentially upon the first signed contract, drugs. You know, exactly how you’d expect people lose money. But rather than look at the situation as what not to do - after all, how do you “not” have greedy relatives if you’re a millionaire? - why not approach the situation as a series of suggestions on what to actually do? A few tips below.

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Just Move The Coyotes Out Of Phoenix, Already!

The ongoing Phoenix Coyotes custody soap opera, with Gary Bettman & the NHL in one corner and Jim Balsillie & Hamilton, Ontario, in the other, has reached untold levels of absurdity at this point. It’s a sure signal to any sane observer that the NHL’s efforts to keep a hockey team in the hottest metropolis in the nation are destructive to the team and the league as a whole. Arena Phoenix Coyotes
(We can’t let this dream die, guys! This is magical!)

The latest development is that Balsillie, after having the NHL effectively price him out of negotiations with new and inventive fees to levy - to the point that they claimed they’d need $100 million just for the hassle of relocation - is now asking for more depositions from league officials to figure out, basically, what the hell they’re talking about.

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Lenny Dykstra’s Financial Meltdown Is Complete

Just over a week after Lenny Dykstra filed bankruptcy and then gave a bizarre interview to CNBC saying that it was just a “reorganization” tactic to get his financial ducks in a row, word comes that he is, in fact, pretty much broke. This despite claims from his lawyer last week that his stated assets would turn out to be more than $50 million, when Chapter 11 paperwork indicated the answer was more like $50,000. The true hero in all of this? Mitch Williams, who predicted this back in January. But even Wild Thing thought it would take another two years or so.

Lenny Dykstra

(I play…dirty)

The latest news comes from paperwork documenting the ongoing divorce proceedings between Dykstra and his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Terri. The latter is requesting $40,000 per month in child and spousal support, based on his “historical income.” But Dykstra has responded that his only source of income right now is his MLB pension — in the amount of $5,700 per month.

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Financial Superguru Dykstra Files For Bankruptcy

Well, well. Here we are. Mr. Lenny Dykstra, the man who famously claims to be undefeated or something in stock investing, has filed for bankruptcy (Darren Daulton saw this coming, as with all other things). Bankrupt, man. Just imagine if Dykstra’s stock picks had turned out poorly.

Lenny Dykstra and Jim Cramer
(Lookin’ good, gettin’ shoulder squeezes. What could go wrong?)

Yes, it’s more than a bit mean-spirited to delight in the complete financial failure of a stranger, even a famous one, so let’s point out that the world would be a better place if he and everybody else were in better financial shape. We can all agree on that, right? Okay, good. That said, Dykstra’s bankruptcy signals the end of one of the most noxiously overconfident reigns in the hypersensationalized world of early-decade financial management. Thank God.

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Former Brown Bernie Kosar Files For Bankruptcy

Not many people remember it, but in the early ’80s, the Miami Hurricanes had a great stretch of quarterbacks. Jim Kelly graduated in 1982, then Bernie Kosar in 1984, then Vinny Testaverde two years after that. A friend of ours always refers to Testaverde as “Vertical Testes,” but that’s neither here nor there. We digress.

Bernie Kosar, Sports Illustrated cover
(Although really, if you’re getting your investment advice from the captions on Sports Illustrated covers, you’re going to end up getting what you deserve.)

Kosar had himself a nice stretch in the NFL, playing for twelve seasons (mostly with the Cleveland Browns). While you’d imagine that meant he was financially set for life, well, not quote; the QB-turned-businessman has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, according to the MIAMI HERALD.  Read more…

Mr. Vick Is Learning The Value Of ‘Chump Change’

Michael Vick has been in prison for just about a year now and I’m sure while he’s been there he’s made a lot of new friends and forged relationships that will last him a lifetime.  Of course, at the rate he’s going, those friendships could be the only thing Vick has left when he gets out of prison.

(Lend me $20?)

See, Vick filed for bankruptcy back in July after spending all his money on trying to keep his dog-fighting ass out of jail.  At least, that’s what he would have wanted you to believe.  While a lot of Vick’s money went to paying his lawyers and court expenses, adding those two things up does not equal $17.7 million.   Which is why the newly released report from his bankruptcy case that details exactly what Mike has spent all his money on is so much fun to read.

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Sprewell Chokes Away $400K House, 70-Ft. Yacht

The ASSOCIATED PRESS gets all choked up on the failing financial fortunes of Latrell Sprewell. The ex-NBA player recently had his house foreclosed on and his yacht auctioned off.

Latrell Sprewell will hoop for food

Citizens Bank has foreclosed on the $405,000 suburban Milwaukee home, claiming that Sprewell still owes almost $300,000 on the house, and that he hasn’t made any mortgage payments since September 2007. Meanwhile, Spree’s 70-foot sloop, the “Milwaukee’s Best”, was sold off for $856,000 - still about $500,000 short of what North Fork Bank says is owed to them.

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