Michael Vick Will Work Construction After Prison

All that fitness built up through an NFL career is finally going to do Michael Vick some good. According to the ASSOCIATED PRESS, Vick already has a construction job lined up that will begin as soon as he is released from prison.

jackhammer guy

(Michael Vick’s $750,000 per year plan.)

That’s right, a man who was the face of an NFL franchise and arguably an entire city just two years ago is now going to be standing on a jackhammer for a living, because of dogfighting and a crippling bankruptcy case that has left him with little hope of paying back the $11.1 million he owes the Falcons ($6.5 million) and a former agent ($4.6 million). Instead, the best he can hope for is 40 hours a week of hard labor, at least until the NFL agrees to reinstate him.

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Give Us Your Poor, Your Tired, Your Aids-Infected

It’s been a great day in sports here at SbB. First we get the pro poker player who (allegedly) beat his parents to death for his inheritance. Next comes Rick Adelman’s DUI-impaired family tree. Then a former CFL player has his name dragged through the mud by a racist cheerleader - thanks to a false rape charge.

Former Alabama and CFL player Trevis Smith

(Hey Trev, split a Bloomin’ Onion at Outback tonight?)

And to top all that off, I’m proud to bring you the uplifting story of former Saskatchewan Roughrider Trevis Smith. Yeah, you remember. The dude who was serving two years in the can north of the border “for knowingly exposing two women to the virus that causes AIDS.”

If you live in Alabama, news is out today that Mr. Smith could very well be turning up in your neighborhood very soon! Read more…

Ex-Falcons Star Jamal Anderson Busted For Coke

Scott Van Pelt isn’t the only ESPN employee in hot water. Jamal Anderson, former Atlanta Falcon and current analyst on “First Take”, was busted in the act of snorting cocaine off a toilet tank in an Atlanta bar.

Jamal Anderson

And it gets better. Anderson was also found with marijuana in his pocket, and the other man he was arrested with was underage. I think the Urban Dictionary is hard at work on a new definition for the Dirty Bird.
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Cardinals Somehow Fail To Choke Playoff Game

With a little more than two minutes to go in their playoff game against the Atlanta Falcons, it looked like the Arizona Cardinals were on the verge of becoming…well, the Arizona Cardinals. Up 30-24, they had just called an inexplicable reverse that had been blown up, leading to a huge 3rd-and-16 from midfield. If they didn’t convert, they would give the ball back to the Falcons and their Rookie of the Year QB Matt Ryan, who had just scored easily in their previous possession.

Arizona Cardinals fans at their game against the Falcons

And then something amazing happened: with their season potentially on the line, the Cardinals made a huge play. Kurt Warner found TE Steven Spach alone in Falcons’ secondary (after a major foul-up by Atlanta’s linebackers) for a first down, letting Arizona run out the clock on their first home playoff victory in 61 years.

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Because One Jason Elam Novel Just Isn’t Enough

I’m sure you all remember the first time you read Atlanta Falcons kicker Jason Elam’s special ops soldier/linebacker novel Monday Night Jihad. You know, the one in which protagonist Riley Covington leaves his pro football career behind to fight an evil terrorist plot with his former buddies in a special ops unit and saves the United States from certain doom. Oh, and he manages to teach us all a little something about Jesus and understanding along the way. Yeah, that one. Luminaries such as Tony Dungy told us that the book “made me examine not only my thoughts about football but also caused me to look at how I view life and people around me.” I hear that, my friend.

The only problem with Monday Night Jihad was that it ended. As soon as Riley Covington had saved our country and our souls, he was ripped right from our lives, and we found a little piece of ourselves missing with him. Well, fellow Covingtonians, our savior has returned to us.

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Broncos And Chargers To Play For “Division Title”

After San Diego rolled the Bucs today, the Broncos needed to beat the Bills at home to avoid a winner-take-all AFC Worst matchup next week at Qualcomm. But they couldn’t even pull that off. The Bills overcame an injury to Marshawn Lynch and the fact that Dick Jauron is their coach and still beat Denver 30-23. I know one guy who’s going to sleep much easier tonight:

Ed Hochuli

You’re off the hook, Ed.

If San Diego wins next week, they will make the playoffs at 8-8, while the Patriots could still go 11-5 and be left out if the Dolphins also win.

Meanwhile, Eagles fans are not having a very good evening right now. Video of that crazy ending after the jump.

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Chicago Bears Rally In Final Minute But Still Lose

Poor Chicago. Despite getting thoroughly outplayed all afternoon by the Falcons, there they were at their own 23 with 2:39 to play, down only 19-13 after Jason Elam badly biffed a straight-on 33-yard field goal try for Atlanta. And then Kyle Orton went to work.


(No, Orton did not do this on Sunday, though considering what transpired, he may as well have.)

Displaying the sort of two-minute mastery normally reserved for good quarterbacks, Orton led the Bears down the field in methodical fashion, throwing 10-yard strikes here and 17-yard passes there. Sure enough, with 17 seconds left, the Bears stood at the Atlanta 17-yard line facing third and 10. Then the fun started.

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Texans Fumble Away Chance At Upsetting Colts

Matt Schaub might have been the one who missed today’s game for the Houston Texans against the Indianapolis Colts, but by the end of the game it was probably his replacement Sage Rosenfels who felt even more sick. Thanks to his three turnovers late in the fourth quarter, the Colts were able to come back from a 17-point deficit in the final 4:04 and take down the Texans 31-27.

Sage Rosenfels

The Texans’ come from ahead loss was the big news, but the early games on Sunday were filled with shocking results across the board. When Atlanta can go on the road and beats Green Bay despite a gutty performance by Aaron Rodgers, and that’s a bit of an afterthought, that tells you just how nutty the early games were in Week 5.

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Michael Vick’s Personal Mementos Bought For $10

While spending his days in prison in Leavenworth, Kansas, Michael Vick’s day to day life is probably pretty boring. He wakes up in the morning, eats, works out for an hour or so, does some work, and then goes back to bed. He also probably spends a lot of time trying not to get shanked.

While he’s inside a prison, life outside the prison walls carries on. The Atlanta Falcons are off to a 2-1 start behind their new quarterback Matt Ryan, and people are buying all of his old stuff at ridiculous prices. One man in particular got an entire storage locker full of Vick’s stuff for a whole ten dollars.

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Lawyer Milloy Celebrates Falcons Loss With DUI

While things went very well for the Atlanta Falcons in the first week of the NFL season, they learned yesterday that things change quite a bit when you’re not playing the Detroit Lions.   A week after quarterback Matt Ryan had an impressive NFL debut and Michael Turner ran all over, the Falcons were handed a big dose of reality with a 24-9 loss by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers yesterday.   The devastation was enough to lead at least one Falcon to drinking.

Lawyer Milloy was arrested early this morning for speeding and driving under the influence.

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