I do tend to do more international stories on weekends, but it’s still weird that this is not only my second soccer post in two hours, but my second Liverpool post in two hours. But trust me: this tale of modern athlete love is a good one.

(You’d rather I run a photo of the soccer player?)

Jermaine Pennant is a winger for Liverpool, perhaps best known for wearing an electronic ankle bracelet during a game while he was on probation for drunk driving. Now he should best be known for MySpace stalking a topless model, breaking up with her after she saw CCTV footage of him cheating on her, then proposing to her at her newly-dead brother’s grave. WTF. (More pics, of course, after the jump.)

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What is it with race car drivers and ridiculously good looking wives? Is turning a car to the right wholly unattractive? Sam Hornish Jr. doesn’t know, and probably doesn’t care.

Do they assign these women to the drivers before qualifying or something? Seriously. It’s becoming an epidemic. The Indy 500 winner, three-time IRL champion, and current NASCAR Sprint Cup competitor has a wife named Crystal Hornish, who’s quite the looker, and we thank RIGHTFIELDERS for bringing this to our attention. Read more…

PANTHERS’ D MIGHT HAVE SCUTTLED GARCIA’S MARRIAGE: NAPKIN NIGHTS has photos from the birthday party of Jeff Garcia’s nudie model wife, Carmella DeCesare, at Bellagio’s “Light” (was the Barbary Coast smoking lounge unavailable).

If DeCesare’s Gumby-like elastic reax is any indication, it appears the bi-curious bi-coastal NFL QB might’ve been in need of some Cepacol.

And based on DeCesare’s subsequent blanched look, perhaps Garcia showing off last season’s escapability manuever on Julius Peppers (or is that the two step drop?) wasn’t such a great idea either.