AMANDA BEARD WILL NOT BE THE BUTT OF YOUR JOKES: TMZ.com has Amanda Beard giving herself a wedgie in front of boyfriend Sacha Brown:

After seeing her most recent commercial, we’ll take the back over the front:

And so will, apparently, B.J.:

YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN FREE TO STARE AT NATALIE G.’S A**: Last week we reported that a Richmond, VA., public relations firm had been hired by the hottest woman in sports, Natalie Gulbis, to effectively tear down her sex symbol status.

Well, we’ve never been so happy to print a correction in our lives, as Craig Dolch of the PALM BEACH POST, bless his heart, now reports that Gulbis is “not trying to downplay (her) sexy image.”

Dolch recently asked Gulbis about previous statements from a hag at the Gulbis-hired PR firm - who claimed Natalie wanted to throw a burka over the sexiest body in paid athletic endeavor.

Gulbis: “That’s not true at all. I haven’t tried to tweak my image at all. I’ve been proud of everything I’ve come up with.”

More from Dolch: “Gulbis said what happened is a PR person for a Richmond-based branding agency that produces her calendar, Circle C Studios, overstepped her boundaries when she said Gulbis was trying to downplay her sexy image.”

Finally a female sports star (who is actually hetero hot) who is comfortable embracing her sexuality, and presents it in a tasteful manner. Natalie, you are officially our hero.

GULBIS HIRES PUBLIC RELATIONS FIRM TO UGLY-HER-UP: The RICHMOND TIMES-DISPATCH reports that Natalie Gulbis has hired a public relations firm to get us to forget that she has the bangin’-est body in women’s sports. The PR firm Circle S has been charged by the golfer to apparently remake her image from cheesecake calendar model to serious athlete.

Circle S President and Managing Partner Susan Hogg: “With the original stuff, she was in a beautiful bathing suit, tights and things and that certainly got the attention of a lot of people. But we’re trying to scoot it more to who she is and where she wants to take [her career and name].”

(The appropriately-named) Hogg described the company’s work as “a refinement of a truer image of who she is. Sometimes the media can start to control your brand, and we’re trying to take control of the brand.”

Gulbis puts out two bikini calendars and it’s the media starting to “control” her brand? We understand that she’s probably tired of the same-sex harassment at The Dinah, but producing a calendar that belongs behind the counter at Cracker Barrel probably isn’t the best way to go about adjusting her image.What this really sounds like to us is the dried-up, old hags at the LPGA have finally got their mud hooks sunk into Gulbis, and they want to dumb down her sexuality and make her as gender-neutral as ever-loving possible - thus guaranteeing her popularity with the Tour’s miniscule fan base.

SI.COM REPORTER PUTS UP PICS OF PARTYING W/PACKERS: Meet the new girl hoping to fill Jenn Sterger’s journalistic bra shoes - Brigid Mullen:

The aspiring model-slash-women’s football player-slash sports reporter was on the scene for SPORTS ILLUSTRATED at Lambeau Field, working as a correspondent for a recent Packers game. During her stay in Green Bay, Mullen did a quick Q&A with QB Brett Favre for the sports site.

After the game, Brigid did a little investigative journalism on her own. And by “investigative journalism”, we mean “party with the players at a local bar”.

It was a proud moment for the young Wisconsin grad - so proud, that there’s plenty o’ more pics to see on her site:

We can’t remember the last time we saw snaps of Frank Deford doing post-game shots with Bart Starr.

But it’s not like SI just picked her’s face out of a crowd like some ABC cameraman. Mullen has contributed her share of in-depth reporting for the site.

Previously, Brigid did a hard-hitting piece on the trials and tribulations of being at Spring Break on South Padre Island. She followed that up with an expose on the travails of doing a swimsuit shoot for some non-SI calendar.

We smell Pulitzer!

No, wait. It’s the odor of some other crappy substance.

ROCKET LIGHTER FLUID GOES FROM MOUND TO BACKYARD?: The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS reports that the wife of Roger Clemens is ready to permanently ground The Rocket.

While Clemens yesterday “was noncommittal when asked if he would play next season,” his wife - not so much. Debbie Clemens to KRIV-TV in Houston: “I think he’s ready to do the barbecue and come home.”I think it will be hard for him to play a little bit. He’s been such a workaholic and he’s really put his heart and soul into baseball. But I just think it’s time.”

Screw Roger, we think it’s time for another photo shoot of Debbie (sans her fake workout partner).

HURRICANE HOOPS HOPES TO BRING BEACH TO STUDENTS: How do you get more people to show up to your school’s basketball games? Three words: Bikini-Clad Coeds:

MIAMI SPORTS BLOG tips us the news that the University of Miami wants to bring some fun & sun to their basketball games this year.The plan is to turn the Hurricanes’ student section into an indoor South Beach - complete with hot tub, sandbox and lifeguard tower. Best of all, “Students will be asked to wear beach attire.”

Seems like there’s gonna be more eyes focused off the court than on. But whatever the ‘Canes can do to get butts into the BankUnited Center - and young, shapely ones at that.This is not the first time a south Florida basketball squad tried to add a little sex appeal to sell more tickets. Back in the ’70s, the Miami Floridians of the ABA had used beauties called Ballgirls, who not only would dance during timeouts, but also hand balls to the refs during play.

However, the girls couldn’t get enough spectators to view the spectacle, and the Floridians folded after 4 years.So, will full-cup freshmen, scantily-clad sophomores and juggy juniors be enough to bring more b-ball support to the U? If there’s plenty of ti…me, chances are good.

• WITH LEATHER wouldn’t mind taking a dip with the ladies of the Texas Tech swim team:

• MR. SUNSHINE isn’t too thrilled about Mike Tirico and Stephen A. Smith taking over Dan Patrick’s ESPN radio spot.• EPIC CARNIVAL examines which ex-USC RB is having the better NFL season.

• Where’s the love? DEADSPIN reports some U.S. right-wing groups are mad at a Canadian team for allowing their logo in a gay hockey film:

• MY BRAIN SAYS RAGE doesn’t believe Andy Reid will be joining Mensa anytime soon.• STEROID NATION gets Jim Bouton’s take on the drug state in baseball.

SbB’S EXCLUSIVE ROUND BY ROUND COVERAGE OF SERENA: You may be tracking Serena round-by-round at Wimbledon:

And as you can see, so are we.

SHARAPOVA SHOCKED AT MAMMARIES SHE WON’T FORGET: At a posh pre-Wimbledon event, Maria Sharapova was agog at the double aces of a well-endowed party guest:

The No. 2 female tennis player in the world was approached by “a lady with the most gigantic breasts,” and the whole time Maria “couldn’t keep her eyes off them.”

But eventually, Sharapova got over the initial big breast bewilderment, and was soon giggling with her friends, trying to get them to take a pic of the busty tennis buff.

Sharapova was reportedly saying that she couldn’t believe anyone would wear such a revealing outfit.

SERENA WILLIAMS NOW OFFICIALLY UK TABLOID HIT PIECE: The LONDON DAILY MAIL expands its coverage of Serena Williams as Wimbledon approaches by publishing some photos of her in a string bikini from last weekend with her boyfriend (actor Jackie Long):

The English tabloid adds this jab as an accompaniment to a less-than-flattering action shot from the French Open:

“Big-boned Serena has never been one to glide lightly across the court, but the extra-short skirts the US superstar has been wearing on the famous courts at Roland Garros this week have shown off the kind of killer thighs more often seen on the women’s wrestling circuit.“