Joe Buck Live Canceled; Concept Coming To Fox?

Joe Buck guested on KSLG-AM in St. Louis this week (audio) and said he expects his HBO show Joe Buck Live to be canceled.

Joe Buck Live Canceled

“I don’t think there will be another episode of Joe Buck Live.

“There’s only another nine months on that contract anyway, so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal either way.

“(On if he’d miss it) No, not really. There was a lot more behind the scenes and a lot more effort and hassle than I ever expected, and that goes from booking guests to actually getting guests there to, obviously, the Artie Lange thing in the first show. Read more…

Well-Liked Iowa HS Football Coach Shot To Death

Ed Thomas, a popular Iowa high school football coach who saw many of his players make it to the NFL, was shot & killed in the school’s weight room this morning.

Ed Thomas Parkersburg HS football coach

• Road tripping, Wisconsin style: Driving home drunk in a golf cart.

• Break out the blindfolds - Oregon’s new football uniforms are here.

Terrell Owens gets cursed out by teammate Joanna Krupa for getting themselves eliminated on ABC’s “Superstars”.

• No “Moneyball” movie means no sex scenes between Billy Beane & an Outback Steakhouse waitress.

Read more…

Artie Lange Is A Genius, According To Artie Lange

Artie Lange took a little time off from admiring donuts and chain smoking Marlboros to appear on Michael Irvin’s radio show on Tuesday, and revealed what we’d pretty much assumed all along. His profanity-filled, over-the-top grossout performance during the debut airing of HBO’s “Joe Buck Live” last week was pretty much custom ordered by HBO and Buck himself.

Artie Lange

I kind of figured as much when Buck made little attempt to rein him in during the broadcast itself, then professed mild outrage over Lange in subsequent interviews. But if you believe Lange — and there’s no reason not to, really — Buck got exactly what he asked for, and his outrage is fake. Read more…

Week In Review: Laker Fans’ Celebration is a Riot

• The Lakers win the NBA title, and many Angelenos celebrate accordingly - if “Angeleno” is Spanish for “a$$hole“.

Lakers fan riot

• Baseball phenom Bryce Harper don’t need no education, plans to skip final two years of high school to become eligible for next year’s MLB draft.

• Posing for a new photoshoot, Anna Kournikova shows she’s still A-OK.

• “Joe Buck Live” makes its long-awaited(?) debut, and Artie Lange insures that it’s a memorable one.

• The mom of porn star Catalina Cruz used to work as a secretary for former Cleveland Browns coach Sam Rutigliano.

Read more…

Stallworth Gets 30 Days For Drunk Driving Death

• Cleveland Browns WR Donte Stallworth is sentenced to 30 days in jail in a plea-bargain agreement in the drunk driving death of Miami Beach pedestrian Mario Reyes.

Donte Stallworth in court

• The Famous Chicken may soon be nesting down in his retirement coop.

• Exciting times for Michael Strahan - he’s got a Fox “comedy” in the works, and he’s now engaged to Eddie Murphy’s ex.

• Speaking of bad shows, “Joe Buck Live” may not have a bright future - unless you consider foul-mouthed Artie Lange as your program’s savior.

• Soccer star Rio Ferdinand follows Cristiano Ronaldo’s fashion lead.

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Speed Read: Donte’ Stallworth Reaches DUI Deal

Sometimes, all you can ask for is closure. Not revenge or punishment or the eye for the proverbial eye; just enough to begin the healing process.

Donte Stallworth

And so, according to the MIAMI HERALD, the family of Mario Reyes, the man Donte’ Stallworth stands accused of killing in a March DUI accident, have been described by prosecutors as “the primary force” in a plea deal that is expected to be accepted today. And rather than spending years and years in prison, Stallworth may only have a short jail stay:

Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte’ Stallworth is expected to plead guilty Tuesday to driving drunk when he struck and killed a pedestrian on the MacArthur Causeway in March, The Miami Herald has learned.

Stallworth’s attorney, Christopher Lyons, confirmed that the case was expected to be resolved Tuesday in court. Lyons declined to detail terms of the plea, which are not yet public.

While this is good news for Stallworth and his family, it doesn’t mean his NFL career is back in play; even after the jail stay imposed by the judge, Stallworth will still have to be reinstated by the notoriously unsympathetic Roger Goodell.  This will be a remarkably tough decision for the commissioner; no matter what length of suspension he decides on, it’s still going to be met by (not entirely unreasonable) protests of “Oh, so that’s how many games a human life is worth?”

But all the same, the person who’s really going to be haunted by the specter of death here is Stallworth, not Goodell. That he, even accidentally, killed a fellow man is a fact that will saddle him long after he’s gone from the league.

*UPDATE*: Stallworth gets sentenced to 30 days in jail & two years of house arrest.

Okay, we need a fun story after all that. So, as we warned you earlier, Joe Buck’s talk show career just started last night. And, judging by what AWFUL ANNOUNCING found, it may have ended last night too.

Joe Buck

The milquetoast play-by-play announcer for FOX had put together a decent, meh-but-not-terrible first episode, with appearances by Brett Favre (more on him later), Michael Irvin, Chad Ochocinco, and other famous members of the sports world. And then to close it out, he had on longtime friend Paul Rudd, a practically non-existent Jason Sudeikis, and, inexplicably, Artie Lange.

The audio is ludicrously NSFW, but if you’ve got earphones and/or a door to your office, you’ll want to check out Lange single-handedly derailing the show:

And then yes, Favre. Favre Favre Favre. He was the first guest on the show, and allowed make unironic claims like he’s not looking for attention. While he’s on, y’know, a nationally televised talk show. And to his credit, the fact that this is his first public appearance while ESPN has hammered coverage of his dalliance with Vikings management into viewers’ brains (we think Ed Werder’s been tasked with rifling through the trash down at Favre’s ranch in Mississippi) should be noted. That said, this happens every damn year, and it’s so tiresome. Here we are in June, with training camps underway. Teams want to have their summer rosters in place. So is Favre going to play this year? “Maybe.”

Brett Favre Vikings
(Here we go again.)

Also, the fact that Favre’s first public comments aren’t to ESPN should be noted as well. So rather than think of Favre as a caricature of an attention whore or drama queen or whatever, perhaps it’s best to - yes, we know this is neither fun nor easy - recognize the shades of gray and think that while he knows how easy it is to attract attention after spending two decades in the spotlight,  part of him actually is a country-bred bumpkin from Mississippi who would play football forever if he could.

But then again, we don’t know where the annual retirement charade fits into either side. And how many years in a row is this? Eight? C’mon, man.

Here are more stories to consider as you mourn Shawn Johnson’s euthanization

  • Look, this is clearly not the appropriate forum to discuss the ongoing turmoil in Iran. We’re not nearly qualified enough to comment on it, and that’s not what you’re here to read anyway. That said, if you’re wanting to find out more about watching the seeds of revolution occur in real-time, Andrew Sullivan’s blog is a good place to start. So why even bring it up? Only for the most epic picture in tOSU history, via 11W (click here for higher res, pops):

Tehran Buckeye
(Your move, Michigan.)

What else is Joe Morgan lying about?

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Brog: NBC Reporter Grills Fallen Hottie Sacramone

Another interesting find by 790 The Ticket’s Jorge Sedano today. Earlier today, we brought you the mean left hook of mega-hottie gymnast Alicia Sacramone.

Alicia Sacramone NBC Interview Andrea Joyce

Coincidentally, here’s some video from this morning of Sacramone getting cooked by NBC’s Andrea Joyce after her recent, disappointing Olympic performance on Balance Beam and Floor Exercise - which cost the U.S. a chance of competing for a gymnastics team gold medal.

Many are appalled by Joyce’s direct line of questioning, and perhaps it is a little over the top. But Joyce is only interviewing Sacramone like she would Kobe Bryant if the Redeem Team were to suffer a shocking loss. Aren’t they both high-profile Olympians?

Alicia Sacramone NBC Interview Andrea Joyce

I don’t blame Joyce for her approach, I blame those in the Olympic sports community for pushing often-prepubescent children onto a world stage, then expecting them to act like old pros with the media after they collapse under pressure.

The LONDON GUARDIAN’s Sean Ingle today from the Oly gymnastics competition: “I knew they were little - that’s hardly news - but this little? The minimum age to compete in the Olympic gymnastics is 16, many of these wouldn’t have been out of place in a year eight disco.

Maybe I sound like a prude, but I don’t think girls that age shouldn’t be thrust into that kind of environment, considering most are unprepared emotionally to handle the off-mat pressure the world media places on them. It’s sad all around. (And yes, I know, Sacramone herself is 20.)

Last night was Joe Beimel Bobblehead Night at Dodger Stadium, so the club had Beimel all over local L.A. media yesterday. One of his stops was KLAC-AM’s “Petros & Money Show,” where he talked music with co-host Matt “Money” Smith.

Joe Beimel Kid Rock Tattoo Punk Rock Baby

(Ask Joe: What’s better, a punk rock baby or Kid Rock tattoo)?

Earlier this season, Beimel let it be known during a chat on MLB.com that he was a lover of punk rock, and in particular, the Chicago-based band “Screeching Weasels.”

He went a step further on KLAC yesterday, revealing that he named his daughter, Claire Monet, after a Screeching Weasels song with the same title.

Now, with a punk rock band named, “Screeching Weasels,” you’d think there’d be some serious, off-color lyrics in all their songs. But in the case of “Claire Monet, ” you would be wrong. Drat!

Where’s Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious when you really need them?

ESQUIRE’s Tom Chiarella has a profile of Tom Brady in a September cover story.

Gisele Bundchen Tom Brady

(Brady’s baby, Bundchen’s twins off-limits)

I’ve no real interest in the piece, beyond the fun ground rules for the visit set up by Brady’s lovable agent, Steve Dubin. Dubin told Chiarella that Brady’s girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen, and his son “will not appear in the story. If you ask about his son, they’ll stop the car and drop you on the [expletive] 405.

Living on L.A.’s westside, I can confirm that our local freeway is indeed now officially called the, “[expletive] 405.”

Yes, Christmas is right around the corner (ok, maybe not, but stay with me) so I have a couple-three great gift ideas for the whole family. First off, the FORT WORTH STAR-TELEGRAM brings us the Quincy Carter Christmas tree ornament (only $18.95!).

Quincy Carter Christmas Tree Ornament

It also comes with a voucher for one free phone call from the correctional facility of your choice (Lower 48 only, voucher valid with University of Georgia system student ID).

Actually, if I’m going to go gifting on newspaper websites, I’ll stick with the ORANGE COUNTRY REGISTER’s Allison Stokke framed poster for $215 (two for $182.99!):

Allison Stokke

If that stuff doesn’t move you, maybe this item from the Dodgers’ best fan website out there, DodgerBlues.com, catches your fancy … the MannyPack™!

Dodgers Fan Mannypack

I wonder if it includes two free drink tickets to Artie Lange’s less-famous brother’s next Laugh Factory set. I know I’ve cashed more than a few of those at Tony Rock’s weekly Comedy Store standups.

Ethan Skolnick of the SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL reports that in Plaxico Burress’ new book, the NYG wideout “rips” his former coach at Michigan State, Nick Saban. Read more…